163 days ago, I broke my comfort zone. I don’t know what I was thinking of at the time, but it seemed then like a really good idea.
14 days from now, it will be done. My life will be forever changed, for good or bad. I think it will be for good, so that’s how I’m approaching it.
I had such high hopes and grand plans to get ready for this. I started a “Couch to 5K” program, since I HATE RUNNING. I knew it would be my least favorite portion, so I thought I would train most on that. Within a month, I had a beautiful squishy lump on my knee and couldn’t run. It was identified as runner’s knee and was followed by 2 months of PT. I will be walking the running portion.
I’m getting pretty good at the biking portion. For years, I said I was going to start riding my bike to work, since I live only 7 miles away from the Gas ‘n Sip. This gave me an excuse to actually do it. Of course, I am incredible at coming up with excuses to NOT ride, but so far, I have gotten more use from my bike this summer than I have in the past 10 years.
The swimming was the portion I was least worried about. However, putting on a wetsuit? YIKES! I decided that I would deal with it with the same attitude I deal with getting a massage – they have seen bodies FAR better and FAR worse than mine. And after I attended a swim clinic, that is so true! I’m fine.
I have 2 weeks to mentally prepare. I’ll get there.
And thanks to my extraordinarily generous friends (and some strangers) I have managed to raise almost $750 for breast cancer research. That was the main purpose of signing up. I’m very pleased about that fact.
Thank you for your support! I’ll let you know how it goes.
So, I had mentioned that I would keep you updated with my training for the Tri. Yeah, I suck. I’ll do it now.
So much has been going on.
First up, I am down to 138 days before the event. OhEmGee!
My plan for training was that I would start with running training, since that is my weakest “event”. Then when the weather gets warmer, I will add in biking to work. And then around June or so, I would start with swimming. In a previous life, I was a competitive swimmer, so I’m not too worried about the swimming portion.
Right after I signed up, I started on a Couch-to-5k program. There’s an app for that. I thought that would be a good way to ease in. Week 1, you run 1 minute, walk 90 seconds, 8 times, with a 5 minute warm-up and cool-down. And each week you add in a little more running and a little less walking. Granted, my running speed, according to charts I’ve seen, qualifies as a “brisk walk”, but so what. I’m doing it. So far so good.
I am prone to plantar fasciitis, so in order to prevent injuries, a friend took me to a running store where I got myself professionally fitted running shoes. They make my feet look big and clunky, but they have good stability in the heels. While I was there, I also signed up for their running club because they offer coaching on tri-training. Cool. I’m in.
I made it through 2 1/2 weeks of the C25K training.
And then, my knee started getting wonky.
I think I have water on the knee. It’s all swollen in places that aren’t normal. So I bought a knee brace. It helped, but wasn’t great.
My sister found out from my mother that I had signed up for the Tri. She offered me her membership to the Y so that I could swim. I know, right? How cool was that?? The caveat was that I had to take my niece with me sometimes. It will help her with her swimming.
So, in order to give my knee a break, I went swimming. Remember how I said I used to swim competitively? Yeah. Clearly, that was a LONG time ago. Swimming is hard! *heheh* It will still be the easiest portion of the race for me, but it won’t be easy. And considering, I will have to wait until July to do any actual ocean swimming – due to the fact that even then, the ocean temperature will be around 60 degrees – it will be a challenge.
Also, I started on the stationary bike. Clearly easier than riding on the actual street, but again, I felt I needed to give the knee a rest.
I gave my knee about 2 weeks to not take the pounding and tried the running again. I did okay with it. Still not 100%, but I’ll take what I can get.
And while all this was going on, I had a little break down. My happy pills were not working. I cried all the time. I knew that I was a failure because I couldn’t run as well as everyone else. Just add this to the list of everything I have failed at. And on and on. It was really pathetic. My mother finally called me on it and told me to call the doctor to get them adjusted. I called, and I cried while making the appointment. The doctor came into the exam room and I burst into tears. Nice.
We adjusted things and I seem to be getting back on track. Even someone at work told me that my Chi was low the other day. So clearly others have noticed. I’d like to think it’s a function of my jarring something loose with the exercise but I know it’s a sign that I’m a little bit crazy.
Anyhoo. When I signed up for the running club, evidently my name was entered into a lottery to get a registration for a 10k in August. The race is a pretty big deal around here – we get runners from all over the world participating and the 6,000 registration slots usually fill up in about 30 minutes. Personally, I have absolutely NO desire to run a 10k. So I’m going to find out if I can give my slot to someone at work.
I start running training with the running club tonight. I’m hoping that some seasoned runners will give me some help with my form to help with my knee issues.
Last night, I did my first-ever spin class. Holy goat, that was hard!! I haven’t sweat that much in a long long time. There were some hate-vibes aimed at the leader during the class. But by the end, I was thinking, yeah. I’ll do this again. My lady-bits are a little sore today, though. And the standing hills we did on the bike wonked my knee. So, back to the ice and ibuprofen. It gets easier, right?
So that’s the long long (very long) version of what I’ve been up to. I am doing things that I’ve never done before. I’m more willing to try things. I’ve been swimming a bunch of times and biking. And running. Who knew a card-carrying couch potato could do this?
I’m pretty proud of myself. And I’m looking forward to seeing what else I can do. And I’ll do better with updating this. A few people at work have been inspired by my story, and have started some form of exercise as a result. That gives me a warm, yummy feeling.
Okay. Enough now. I have to go ice my knee.
UPDATED: I forgot to mention that I really was fated to participate in this event. There are 1,100 registrations available for it, and those filled up in 4 1/2 minutes. Four. And. A. Half. Minutes. I registered on my phone, while at a swim meet. What are the chances that I got in?? I’m still astounded.
177 days.
That’s how long I have until my life is formally changed forever.
Over-dramatic? Maybe.
But if you know me at all, you know that I tend to freak at new things.
Last year, in the midst of posting all the drivel just to say I posted something, I alluded to the idea that I wanted to sign up for a mini-triathlon in this area. I said that, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, “Pfft. AS IF that will happen.”
The mini-triathlon is called Tri-For-A-Cure and it’s an all women’s triathlon with all the money going to help breast cancer research. The events themselves are a 1/3 mile ocean swim, 12 mile bike, and 5k run.
Back at the time I said it, research told me that the event is REALLY popular and registration fills up almost immediately. YES! I had an out, if I needed it. “Gee, I *tried* to register, but it was full. I couldn’t.” Followed by much relief and batting of eyelashes.
However.
The Universe called my bluff. Registration opened last night at 6:30. I was at my niece’s swim meet, sweating my butt off in a humid pool area, and thought, “Okay. You have to at LEAST make the attempt in order to say you couldn’t register. You don’t have a computer, but you have your phone.”
So there I am, trying to watch my niece, watching the clock, trying to register on my phone.
I hit send, thinking, “Be full. Be full. Be full.”
“You have new email.”
“Congratulations! You have successfully regis….”
CRAP!
I swear I heard the Universe chuckling. It is getting the last laugh. I have the confirmation and I am officially committed to doing this thing. I have spent the last 12 hours alternately excited, freaked, scared, hyperventilating, and a whole bunch of other stuff.
One of my favorite things is the Notes from the Universe that I get sent to me via email every morning. The motto is “thoughts become things”. Well, I just received confirmation that THAT is true!
NEVER EVER challenge the Universe. It will push you into new and exciting things.
So, now, I need to ask for your support and encouragement. If you would like to contribute financially to breast cancer research, you can pledge at: http://tfac2011.kintera.org/mhemphill
This pledge *might* be able to be applied as a charitable contribution on this years taxes. I’m not an accountant though, so don’t hold me to that.
If you can’t contribute financially, just your love and encouragement will be more than enough. Truly.
I’ll be posting updates here on how my training is going. I have 177 days until the event. (Yes, I counted.)
So, I guess the only thing left to say is…. where do I get a wetsuit?
Me again. (Well, really, who else would it be? hee)
In case you are curious about how I’m doing in Reform School, I LOVE IT. I think I’m excelling.
I have 3 Inner Mean Girls: Mean Marcy, Scaredy Kat, and Perfect Shawn. They have all been put on notice that while I value their opinions, I know what’s best for me. I need to look at the situations where they appear and figure out why. The more I do that, the stronger my resolve becomes.
I made a list of 10 things to accomplish by my 45th birthday. I don’t know that I’m ready to go public with all of them, yet, but one of them is….
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(please wait while this poster hyperventilates)
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(your patience is appreciated; please stand by)
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Okay. I am going to train for the Tri-for-a-Cure next August. It is a mini-triathlon for breast cancer. 1/3 mi swim, 15 mi bike, 3 mi run. The run will be my biggest challenge. I have bad knees. But, I have 10 months. And there’s an app for that. the Couch to 5K app that helps you train. Before Reform School, this would have been something I would have said, Yeah, I could train for that. While sitting on the sofa. Eating Munchos. Listening to Mean Marcy and Scaredy Kat tell me that I couldn’t do it and that I would fail.
And now that I’ve gone public, I *have* to do it.
Oh, and I’ll be hitting you up for donations when the time comes. And if you follow me on Twitter, I’ll be hitting you up there, too. Maybe even Facebook.
Training starts today. I’ll keep you posted.
Okay. So I haven’t done it EVERY day. I didn’t get a chance on Friday. Saturday, I did and THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE! I was so sore.
But I must persevere. I was exhausted from the weekend yesterday, so I didn’t do it yesterday. And I got up late today so I missed this morning. But I intend to do it tonight when I get home. I feel so much better after I do it. And provided I don’t fall asleep the second I get home, I will feel good again tonight.
As part of all this new stuff, because I’m not shaking up my world enough, I have decided to get back to doing yoga. I’m going to start back slowly, but I’m going to try to do it every day for 30 days. And write about it.
This is more for me to track my progress so feel free to skip these posts.
Back 10 years ago, I did yoga quite regularly and with some of the worlds best yogis. I was not full yogini material then, but I enjoyed it and loved the workout.
Fast forward to today:
Day 1: Did you know that you cannot bend a board? Jeepers. Upward-dog felt like my back was going to break.
I’m starting with 10 sun salutations every morning. That’s this week. I intend to add something each week and join a yoga studio at the end of this to keep it up.
The dizziness, the tightness, the sweat. OY! It all felt good though. And I’m looking forward to continuing.
Thank you Frank from the Gas ‘n Sip for issuing this little challenge.
Oh, hello! Come on in and have a cocktail. And pretzels.
I was so proud of myself this week. I installed a new light fixture in my bedroom. All by myself! And I didn’t get electrocuted. Much. There was a little shock that felt like when you put your tongue on a battery. It scared me enough to go down and turn off the socket before I continued. But, YAY me! I did it. It’s not perfect. But the light works.
*****
Thursday, I had to go to New Jersey for a meeting. So, yeah, the Gas ‘n Sip spent more than $750 for a flight to send me to NJ for a meeting that took an hour and a half. That amount doesn’t take into account that I needed to hire a car, and buy lunch and dinner. Ridiculous. I absolutely could have called in for this meeting.
So I got up at 4:30 and flew down on a 7:15 flight. I got there at about 9. Then had to wait around until 2:30 for the meeting. I tried to sign in to get some work done, but the connectivity in the building was, um, lacking. So I gave up and just waited. Then, the only available flight was at 8:50, so I didn’t get home until about 10:30. Needless to say – Friday? I was a walking zombie. I must have left my productivity in the seat pocket in front of me on the plane.
*****
Today, it was 55 degrees out. It felt so much like spring outside. It was so wonderful to feel that. And I was able to open a window and air out some of the winter mustiness. That was great too. I went out for a walk at the high school track even, just to air out the winter mustiness in my lungs too. So great to think that spring is almost here.
*****
So, that was my week in a nutshell. I’m sleepy now though, so I’m going to get a good book and snuggle into clean sheets.
Do something good for you this week, okay?
Oh, hello! Come on in. Help yourself to some coffee. And sugar cookies.
I am my own worst enemy. I constantly self-sabotage and despite the best of intentions, my diet/job search/laundry/house cleaning goes by the wayside. I’m not sure why that is, and I know the best way to find out is to do a lot of self-exploration, but I can’t even bring myself to do that. I’ve tried meditation, but I cannot sit still for very long and quieting my mind is like herding kittens.
But despite several false starts, I am still plodding forward, in my quest to be better. At least it seems that the span of time between bursts of motivation seems to be getting smaller. I have finally gotten really serious about my job search. I have sent my resumé to a career advisor to get help with it. (My resumé sucks! I know it does. But I’ve never known how to make it better.) They will look at what I now am sending out, and when they stop laughing, they will tell me how to make it better and help me with the rewrite. (YAY!) I’ve decided that commuting farther than my current 6 miles won’t be such a bad thing. I’ve decided that I need to be confident in my abilities and to stop minimizing my capabilities. I know more than I give myself credit for, and I need to own that.
Another area that I’ve decided to stop whining about is house cleaning. I hate house cleaning. I’ve thought I would love to have a cleaning service come in to clean for me. Then I think, OMG, my house is TINY! There is no reason to have someone come in to do it for me. When I get started, it really takes about an hour to clean it because most of the time, it’s just tidying. So, instead of whining about it, I’m going to just shut up and clean it. And it will mean that I don’t have to spend a couple hundred dollars a month for someone to do what I am totally capable of doing myself.
My health. Recently, I ordered up something that is supposed to help me with my activity levels by motivating me to do a little bit more every day. I won’t endorse or disparage it here yet since I just started with it. But if it helps me a little bit, I think it will be worth it. I don’t want to be super-model thin, or tri-athlete fit, but I do want to be healthy. I think that is the important thing now. I view this as a step in the right direction.
So why did I pick the title of the post I did? I will no longer think of my faltering steps as failures. Not meeting my goal on the first try will not completely derail me, no matter what area of my life it is. If I don’t get the “dream job” the first time? There is something better coming. If I leave my cereal bowl in the sink in the morning? Big whoop. I’ll wash it that evening. And if I am tired at the end of the day, and want to lie down on the couch watching NCIS reruns (for the 83rd time) then that’s okay too. None of this makes me a bad person. It just makes me fallible and fabulous. In the grand scheme of things, faltering steps make me who I am.
And just like the little engine, I WILL get to the top. The top of whatever I decide to tackle. I am a work in progress, and I will never be complete. Each step is another brush stroke toward greatness.
Oh, hello! Have a muffin. I think they are lemon poppyseed – my favorite!
So, evidently, at the end of last year (aka a week ago) I contacted my friend Moo and said – Yeah, I’m fat. I’m sick of being fat. I’m going to work out. Will you help me? And she said – Hellz yeah. And then kept the email. Damnit! It’s in writing now so I can’t get out of it.
After much whining and denial, I dug the Wii board out from under the couch, found the remote and nunchuk, and popped in the EA Active disk. I am LOVING it. I really like the Wii Fit games and the little Mii – although I could do without the voice asking me if I’ve been too busy to work out, or if I tend to fall a lot as I walk, and groaning “OH!” as I step on the board. *stinkeye* I could also do without the computer puffing up my Mii to remind me that I am “Rubenesque”. I know I am. But the games are fun.
With the Active disk, I actually get a series of exercises that include running (in place), strength training, balance, and a variety. Before I know it, I’m through all my exercises and done for the day. I’m starting at the easiest level, and it takes only 25-30 minutes to do all of them, but I’m starting. That’s the best part. Baby steps, right?
Yes, I did this as part of the New Year’s intention that everyone makes – get skinny. That would be nice, but my goal is to be healthier than I was in 2009 and to not get winded on stairs. (Don’t judge me.) I deserve to be healthy and to take care of myself. If I don’t do it, who will?
Somewhat related, but not, is that the new season of Biggest Loser starts tonight. Don’t worry, I won’t be blogging about this season. I am pretty sure no one read it anyway. And Potes, over at televisionwithoutpity.com does a GREAT job of recapping the episodes. She is laugh-out-loud funny – for real. So I’ll just be watching along with the rest of you to see if the dude over 500 pounds can get under 300; or if the couple who, together, weigh almost 1000 pounds can make it through a workout without dying. I hope so.
Anyhoo, I’m back to Wii-ing, and am pretty pleased with myself. Maybe I’ll do it every day and blog about it, then they can make a dull movie about it, with someone fabulous playing the “before” me and someone MORE fabulous (i.e. ME) playing the “after” me.
Healthy again in 2010.
I’ll keep you posted.
Oh, hello! Fruit tonight: pomegranate, orange, apples.
Last week:
Weigh in:
Rudy (blue): 324 – 16 to 308 (!!!) (134 pounds total – BL record of most weight lost in 10 weeks) (4.94%) SAFE
Rebecca (pink): 209 – 3 to 206 (73 pounds total) She’s upset. (1.44%) Below the line.
Liz (brown): 206 – 3 to 203 (64 pounds total) (1.46%) Below the line.
Alan (green): 243 – 5 to 238 (87 pounds total) (2.06%) SAFE
Amanda (pink): 202 – 9 to 193 (57 pounds total) She’s thrilled. Bob is thrilled. (4.46%) SAFE
Danny (brown): 316 – 12 to 304 (126 pounds total) (3.80%) SAFE
Rebecca went home. She looks good. Oh, and she’s in love with Daniel.
This week: Suze Orman is going to be there.
We start out with a recap of last week’s eviction. They all know that this is the final week on campus and they can’t start slacking now. B&J show up, and are not surprised. Jill said that Rudy is lying and that the reason he sent her home is that she is the biggest threat. He said that he would say it if it were true. I tend to agree with him. I get the impression that the trainers and the fatties are all sick of each other. I can say that I’m sick of all of them.
Bob has Rudy doing the weights that he did the first week. He’s laughing at how easy it is. Now he’s on to Danny doing the same thing. It’s funny to watch. Each in turn is going thru the same things. The changes are amazing. And dare I say… inspirational? Yep.
Sami comes in to talk to them about the final week. And going home and finding a balance. In comes Suze Orman, the financial advisor. There is a connection between health and wealth. Obesity is an expensive disease. She is meeting one on one now. Alan is going to call his insurance agent to get his premium reduced. They charged him more for being overweight. Rudy is getting advice on checking credit reports. Liz is being told how to handle money related issues within her marriage. (Unseen footage from her visit can be seen on her show, Saturday, 9pm on CNBC).
The fatties go to the gym, where Sami and Suze are waiting for them. Treadmills are lined up, in order to play a game. They are not competing against each other. They have to answer questions. For every one they get correct, $1000 will be invested in an account for them at TD Ameritrade. Wow. That’s cool! Incorrect answers mean one level faster and one level higher on the treadmills. Question 1: How much less do obese employees make in one year? Answer: $7000. They all got it correct. Question 2: How much can a family save in a year swapping one meal out for one at home every day? Answer: $8760. (Holy crap!!) All but Amanda got it correct. Question 3: How much do Americans spend on gastric bypass surgery every year? Answer: $4.4 BILLION (Again, holy crap!!) Alan got it correct. Everyone else was wrong. Question 4: How much do Americans spend on obesity-related health issues every year. Answer: $147 Billion. Everyone got it right. Question 5: How much money will you save over 40 years by going from obese to your ideal weight. Answer: 1 million. Everyone but Alan got it right.
The next day, Jill walks in to talk with Danny and Alan about how they are feeling about going home. Cheerios product placement.
At the gym. Amanda is feeling alone. Rudy is targeting Danny this week. Alan is feeling like he just wants to finish. Bob comes in and talks to them as to how they have changed and will they succeed? Danny is scared. They are all crying. Amanda is talking to Bob outside about how they bonded and love each other. It makes me a little sick.
Liz and Danny are talking about how they have been a team and partners together. They helped each other and pushed each other. Sweet. And a little icky.
Challenge time. They are at a football stadium with the amount of weight they have lost to date on their jerseys. They have to carry the amount of weight they lost. There are footballs that weigh what they each lost each of the 10 weeks. (i.e. Rudy’s first week, he lost 28 pounds. His first football weighs 28 pounds.) They have to carry the weights down the field and put the corresponding football on the week marker. The first one done wins 2 tickets to the 2010 NFL probowl. Special guest is Rod Woodson. (IDK who that is…) They all seem excited. Rod throws in a prize of $5000 of athletic equipment to the school of their choice. They pick up their first football and have to walk all the way down the field to the week 1 stand. They put the football down and run back to the beginning. On to the next one. Alan is winning. Rudy and Amanda are right behind him. Alan wins. Rudy is second. Amanda is third. Liz is fourth. Danny finishes strong.
Danny wrote a song. Played it for everyone. Lots of recapping of previous weeks. Again. It was a little awkward to watch. But sweet too, I suppose.
Tomorrow night, there is a “where are they now” show with former contestants to see who kept if off and who gained it all back. FUN!
Subway product placement.
Last chance workouts. Beatings. Sweat. Explanations of what the last chance workout is. (Really??) Yelling. All taking about making it to the final four. Jeepers. Liz is crying again.
Winner of the weigh in also gets Curtis Stone going to their home to teach them how to cook.
Weigh in:
Rudy: 308 – 12 to 296. (3.9%) (33.03% total) SAFE
Liz: 203 – 5 to 198. (2.46%) (25.84% total) below the line
Alan: 238 – 8 to 230. (3.36%) (29.23% total) below the line
Amanda: 193 – 7 to 186. (3.63%) (25.6% total) SAFE
Danny: 304 –16 to 288. Double digit losses 7 weeks in a row.(5.26%) (33.02% total) SAFE
Danny gets the Curtis Stone win. Amanda is the swing/deciding vote this week. Danny will vote to keep Liz. Rudy will vote to keep Alan. Much begging and pleading. Alan pulls Amanda aside to plead his case and plays the “Liz voted against you before” card.
Voting: Danny votes for Alan; Rudy votes for Liz; Amanda votes for Alan. Alan is going home. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
At home update: Big crowd meets Alan at the fire station. That’s nice. He’s wanting to help others lose weight now. He’s lost another 10 pounds. Works out with his wife.
Next week: final four.
Tomorrow night, remember, is the where are they now show. One former winner has gained all “his” weight back.
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