So I found out at the end of last week that I have been accepted into a 10-day meditation retreat. Here’s a link to where I’m going: http://www.dhamma.org/
When I first found out, I was ridiculously excited. “I want to go NOW!!!”
Then I started to look around the inter-webs to see what other people experienced. I’m a little terrified now. I know it is different for everyone. And I know it will be hard. So now I’m excited and terrified and anxious and afraid.
My big fear? Food. Because, of course it is. We get breakfast at 6:30am and lunch at 11am. Supper? Yeah, that would be tea and fruit. I’m afraid I am going to starve to death. Food is one thing that none of the posts about similar events mentions outright. They say things like “food becomes less important” or something like that.
Maybe I can sneak something in…
Happy New Year!
Like everyone else, I look at a new year as an opportunity to start fresh. I have set my own intentions for 2014, but instead of focusing on me, here, I would rather come up with a different list here. A list of wishes for the world for 2014. I’m sure this won’t be exhaustive, but these are the things I’ve been thinking about.
My wishes for the world in 2014: (in no particular order)
` that celebrities or other famous people who “come out” do not generate headlines. I’m not saying that their owning who they are is not a big deal, it is. Nor am I saying they should not “come out”. But why should it be such a huge deal that Mr. Celebrity loves men, not women? The important thing, to me, is that there is more love in the world
` let’s do away with labels. Gay, straight, bi, asexual, fat, thin, etc. Does it matter in your life who I love? Does it impact you if I weigh more than “normal”? Probably not.
` let’s stop being hypersensitive and litigious. People say stupid things. *I* say a lot of stupid things. Recognize that the deficiency lies with them, and move on. You are better than that. It doesn’t make them right. Voice your countering opinion, and move on. And do we *really* need to sue people for every bone-headed mistake or accident? I shouldn’t think so. If someone drives drunk and hits your mother/brother/dog, yeah. I can see that. If you get a fast food meal with a hair in it? Maybe not. Just raise a stink on social media and never eat there again. If someone on a reality show makes a comment that you deem idiotic, consider the source, turn of the show, and move on. The point is, we don’t all have to agree on everything, because wouldn’t the world be so dull if we did?
~ let’s celebrate people who are true artists – actors, singers, painters, dancers. Let’s let people who are famous for no apparent reason fall by the wayside. Stop buying the tabloids, stop clicking the links. If they don’t make money for the news outlets, they will go away.
` if you are vegetarian/vegan/frutarian/carnivore/omnivore/gluten-free/gluten-rich/whatever – GOOD FOR YOU! But don’t try to ram your beliefs down anyone else’s throat. Trying to force someone else to believe as you do makes a mockery of what you DO believe in, and negates what you are trying to accomplish. Same goes for religion. I may change my opinion to yours at some point, but unless I come to it on my own, the change is meaningless.
` let’s encourage suicide bombers to force their leaders to lead by example. If a cause is so important that Mr. Dictator feels the only way to get the message out there is for a suicide bomber to hit a playground, then let Mr. Dictator be the first to step up. The world will be rid of folks trying to bring about the destruction of the world in no time. (Ok, this one is a little tongue in cheek, but you know what I mean. Osama bin Laden told all kinds of people to go do his bidding while he stayed hidden. Step up there, Mastermind, and put your money where your mouth is. If it’s so inmportant to you, prove it.)
~ let’s stop hiding behind the bible and/or constitution for arguements. The bible is conveniently thrust into the fore anytime you don’t agree with something. You can’t pick and choose the parts that suit your needs. Same goes for the constitution. What was written more than 200 years ago *might* not be relevant today. And for both – just because something has “always been done that way before” doesn’t mean that it is the best way now. Change is not always a bad thing.
I’m sure I have others but I’ll stop here. I just think the world would be a nicer place if everyone stopped trying to find fault and pigeon-hole folks and just tried to live the best life they know how.
Here’s to a 2014 filled with love and adventure and daily wonderful surprises.
After too much time, I decided to dust off the old keyboard and write something. Yeah. But since I had forgotten my login information and had to reset everything and then the dashboard thingy indicated that I had never written anything… I’m going to call it a night and perhaps try again tomorrow.
Well, after much agitation, and inner turmoil, I did it. I decided to post for the new position at the Gas ‘n Sip. I don’t know if anything will come of it – the wheels move glacially here – but I feel better knowing that I have stopped feeling the victim, and taken the step to doing something about it.
I also took the step of letting my manager know what I’ve done. I don’t know what I expected, but what I got was “Ok. Thanks for letting me know.”
Either way, I do know that the disparity of my situation was making me short-tempered and resentful and preventing me from doing my best work. And that is not okay. I am better than that. My employer deserves better from me. And hopefully, this step will help me to do better.
I’ll keep you posted.
I have been seeing this little guy a lot lately. And it’s sort of how I’m feeling. I can’t seem to shake it.
Why?
Well, hmmm. Let’s see. We at the Gas ‘n Sip were told what our “annual increase” was. Hooray!, right? Yeah. No. Coupled with the increased cost of health benefits, I’m actually seeing $30 LESS in my paycheck. Awesome.
Last week, my debit card was compromised, so the bank closed it out and gave me a new one. Except they set it up incorrectly, so when I was at Whole Foods buying groceries on Saturday, my card was “not authorized”. Fantastic.
Also last week, one of my co-workers at the Gas ‘n Sip challenged me on a conference call. I’m okay with the challenge, but he wouldn’t let it go when I asked to take it offline and I ended up looking very incompetent. Brilliant.
Another Gas ‘n Sip example: apparently, they like their employees to post internally for different jobs. (I don’t know why. Asking becomes exhausting.) So, for kicks, I went to the job site and found another Slurpee Manager job, in a different department, in the same building. To be clear, it would be doing THE EXACT SAME JOB, for a different line of business. And what’s my problem, you ask? I’m glad you asked. The pay grade is a whole pay grade higher than I am currently at. For the same job. More money. Same. More. I asked my manager what I needed to do to be brought up to parity with my peers. “We’ll have to work on that.” D’ya think??
Then there is the news. I have posted before that I don’t watch the news because it is SO depressing. I get it – “if it bleeds, it leads”, or some such thing. And in the age of 24 hour news coverage, they need to fill the time with SOMETHING. But let’s just peek as a few of the more recent headlines, shall we? These are from CNN:
- Lance Armstrong doping
- France sending more troops
- Armed school guards
- Gang rape in India
- Teachers in child sex sting
- Hundreds at VA possibly exposed to HIV
- 10-year-old boy murdered by neo-Nazi dad
And it just goes on. Is it any wonder I look at pictures of cute kittens online?
So that’s what’s up with me.
What do you think? Should I apply for that other job, just for the pay bump?
(This is the 2nd time I’m writing this. The first one is out in the ether, even though I hit “publish”. So if that one does show up, this one won’t be any better.)
Ever since my unfortunate run in with chicken at Thanksgiving (*shudder), I still cannot bring myself to eat it. There are times when just looking at chicken can bring me back to that day and put me off whatever I am eating now. In fact, I am experiencing what I call “chicken-gross-out-overflow” at times – I can’t enjoy the steak (or whatever) I am eating.
So, back in my early 20s, I claimed to be a vegetarian. I say “claimed” because I didn’t really do it right – I didn’t take the time to really learn how to eat, or how to get my protein, etc. I missed bacon and I loved the smell of burgers on an outside grill. So after a few years, I went back to being a meat eater and never looked back.
Now, though, I’m thinking about cutting out meat again. Except bacon. I can’t seem to give up bacon. It’s just so yummy. And before you say – there’s turkey bacon, or fake-on, or whatever, NO. If it’s not real bacon, then it shouldn’t even have bacon in the name.
So is there such a thing? A vaconitarian? A flexitarian?
I know I can’t go vegan. I love leather. And cheese. And being in Maine, I don’t want to give up lobster. I don’t eat it very often, but I like knowing that I can. There is a pescitarian – a vegetarian who eats seafood. (I’m sure I’ve spelled that incorrectly, but spell check wants me to change it to “nonsectarian”. *snort)
So, I am leaning toward a pescitarian who eats bacon. A flexitarian. That’s what I’m trademarking.
When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing.
~ENRIQUE JARDIEL PONCELA
After I hit “publish” on yesterday’s post, this quote came up. Perhaps I am misunderstanding the point of it, but I don’t think this quote holds true.
Anyone who has read anything I’ve written can tell that it can be read without effort, and I can assure you that great effort did not go into it.
On a larger scale, anything by Danielle Steel, for example – read without effort. And so formulaic that you KNOW it was not great effort to write. On the other hand, anything Toni Morrison has written? Very likely, there was much effort in writing and that writing takes A LOT of effort to read.
So, what am I missing? What is Enrique Jardiel Moncela trying to say that I am missing?
Thanks to my friend Debra, for the past few years I have decided on a word to describe how I want the new year to unfold for me. I could go back and look for the posts for the past few years, but I also think it has been well established here how lazy I am. And besides, I’m pretty sure that whatever those previous words were, I didn’t stick with it for the full year.
Moving on.
In previous years, I also typically spent the last few days of the year scrambling to come up with The Word. Maybe I didn’t stick with it because it was a word I settled on – sort of felt right, so go with it.
But this year? This year the word for 2013 came to me in November. It woke me out of a sound sleep and took up residence with me. It has been patiently waiting for January 1 to arrive, slowly unpacking all its meanings and possibilities for my perusal, giving me plenty of time to know it is the right one this time.
So. What is my word for 2013?
CLEAN
Yes. You read that right. Clean. Why am I so excited about “clean”? Yes, it probably has some to do with how long I wait to actually clean my house. *shudder*
But I can see that for me, it also is going to be:
~ clean mind
~ clean heart
~ clean eating
~ clean goals
I think the possibilities for this word are tremendous. And as I mentioned before, 2012 was not a great year, so I am looking at 2013 as a clean start.
It’s the end of another year. Today is the day before Christmas Eve.
This is my first post in months and there is so much to say and yet nothing is coming out. I try to write. And then I sit, staring at the blinking cursor as it mocks me.
I want to write about what happened in Connecticut, but others have already done that and better than I could have. I want to write about what’s been going on with me, but then it seems so trite in light of all the bad bad things going on in the world.
I am off from the Gas ‘n Sip for the week and hope that I will get my feathers smoothed in time for the new year. I have big plans for 2013. Good things are on the horizon. I’m THRILLED to see 2012 go away – mostly, it was horrible.
I am working on the look of things around here too. I hope to be back around and that at least someone is still interested.
Hi! Welcome back. It’s been quite the summer. I’m having quinoa right now. Would you like some?
So, the summer of 2012. June was spent getting ready for three family members to get surgery. July was spent sitting through said surgeries, driving to visiting hours, shopping on behalf of people who couldn’t, etc. All in the name of family. It was the right thing to do, and I would do it again.
Then August came. I mentioned before that my family broke up with me on August 1. At the time, I thought it would be temporary and that things would get better. I spent a good amount of time sobbing, wondering if I really was “a loser” and “a disappointment”. My conclusion? No. I’m not I was exhausted all the time, yet I couldn’t sleep. Depression, personified.
Once September started, I was ecstatic that the worst summer I can remember was coming to an end. Things couldn’t get worse, right? That is right. September has been SPECTACULAR so far.
I passed a certification exam that will help me in my job on September 1. I took the week off and goofed off. Then, I went to NJ to celebrate the successful launch of a project I had been working on for more than a year. It was a lovely celebration, and I won an iPad. Right after, I was taken out to a very fancy dinner in Philadelphia. It was amazing. And I saw the Liberty Bell (driving by at about 30mph, but still).
So here we are. September 10. And this month has rocked my face off so far. I still haven’t spoken with my family, but I’m getting used to it. I’m still sad about it.
Anyhoo. That’s been my summer. September is the start of the way things will be for me. I’m happy.
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