I was originally going to write about earworms today. You know, those songs you just can’t get out of your head. Because lately, I have been waking up with Alanis Morissette’s “All I Really Want” in my brain. More specifically the lyrics:
Why are you so petrified of silence
Here can you handle this?
Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines
Or when you think you’re gonna die
Or did you long for the next distraction
I love AM. And I can’t wait to hear something new from her. But as often as I wake up lately with that in my head, I have to wonder if it’s my subconscious mind trying to tell me something. (Subconscious? Unconscious? I’ve heard it both ways, but to me these words mean tremendously different things.) (Whatevs.) (You know what I mean.)
*****
Along those lines, is it “preventive” or “preventative”? Yes, I could go look it up, but I’m tired. *snort*
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So, the reason that ear-worms aren’t getting a full post is that I was checking out my blog dashboard – for no apparent reason – and it seems there are now ten (10) of you who have subscribed to Mag and Moo’s blog.
Oh. Mah. Gah.
First of all, THANK YOU!
Secondly, WTH is wrong with you people??
Thirdly, WELCOME! *waves*
That distracted me for a while, what with the giggling and all.
Thank you.
*****
I haven’t updated my 2 million steps in a while. Let me go look at my spreadsheet. (You heard me.)
Through week 17, I have walked 471,105 steps. 1,528,895 to go.
*****
It seems that giving up cable is finally starting to take hold. I canceled it in January, and I don’t have local channels. But I have Netflix and Hulu so if there is *really* something I want to watch, I can usually find it. But over the last week and a half – starting with Monday last on my vacation – I think I have seen maybe 2 hours total of anything.
I have become quite fond of the quiet at night. The Wonder Twins are still adjusting but they’ll manage.
*****
That’s what I have for you tonight. There was something else, but I can’t remember what it is. Next time…
Me again. (Well, really, who else would it be? hee)
In case you are curious about how I’m doing in Reform School, I LOVE IT. I think I’m excelling.
I have 3 Inner Mean Girls: Mean Marcy, Scaredy Kat, and Perfect Shawn. They have all been put on notice that while I value their opinions, I know what’s best for me. I need to look at the situations where they appear and figure out why. The more I do that, the stronger my resolve becomes.
I made a list of 10 things to accomplish by my 45th birthday. I don’t know that I’m ready to go public with all of them, yet, but one of them is….
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(please wait while this poster hyperventilates)
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(your patience is appreciated; please stand by)
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Okay. I am going to train for the Tri-for-a-Cure next August. It is a mini-triathlon for breast cancer. 1/3 mi swim, 15 mi bike, 3 mi run. The run will be my biggest challenge. I have bad knees. But, I have 10 months. And there’s an app for that. the Couch to 5K app that helps you train. Before Reform School, this would have been something I would have said, Yeah, I could train for that. While sitting on the sofa. Eating Munchos. Listening to Mean Marcy and Scaredy Kat tell me that I couldn’t do it and that I would fail.
And now that I’ve gone public, I *have* to do it.
Oh, and I’ll be hitting you up for donations when the time comes. And if you follow me on Twitter, I’ll be hitting you up there, too. Maybe even Facebook.
Training starts today. I’ll keep you posted.
Oh hello! Yes, I’m here again so soon. The tea is fresh. Help yourself.
If you’ve spent any time here at all, you know that I am ridiculously hard on myself. My self-esteem hovers near non-existent. And generally speaking, I am lazy. I have posted before that I need to make a change and I get lonely, and blah blah blah… until even *I* am sick of myself.
Well, I also spend a lot of time trolling around on other people blogs and clicking links to things they like. By doing that, somehow, I had come across this. Over the summer, I even signed up for the 40-day cleanse. But, continuing a familiar pattern, I didn’t follow through because I wasn’t held accountable by anyone. (Not even myself.) And I hadn’t told anyone that I was doing it. Part of this website talks about the Inner Mean Girl Reform School. It’s a 10-week program to help you stop being so hard on yourself, enjoy your life, and to feel successful. BRILLIANT!!
Yeah, except, again, continuing a familiar pattern, I DON’T HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY FOR IT. GAH!!
And then.
I have a birth mark on my forehead that is usually not visible. It used to be when I was little, but very rarely now. It’s in the shape of an angel. When I was little, I thought it was to remind me that I have a guardian angel protecting me. But as the mark faded, I forgot about it. And I forgot about my angel. On Sunday, as I was getting ready for my weekly visit to my parents, she was back. My angel was back. She is still faint, but I could see her again. I wondered if she was back for a reason, but then set that aside and went on with my day.
I found out on Monday why my angel appeared again. She was reminding me that I do, in fact, have angels working for me.
How do I know this?
Monday evening, while sprawled on the sofa watching (very likely) another NCIS* repeat, I got a Tweet from an angel. She wanted to know if I would attend the Inner Mean Girl Reform School with her, as her guest. It would be her gift to me. (I would tell you who it is, but I’m not sure she wants that, so I will keep my angel’s real name a secret. Henceforth, she will be referred to as Angel.)
I immediately burst into tears. And almost fell off the couch. Here was this woman, whom I have never met IRL, offering to in essence GIVE ME MONEY TO CHANGE MY LIFE. What? Really?
WHO DOES THAT???
Angels do.
Angel and I have “known” each other only for about a year. We Tweet frequently. We have spoken on the phone occasionally. We have read each other’s blogs often. I wouldn’t say we know each other well, but evidently, Angel saw something in me that told her I am worth her time and money.
I. Was. Floored.
No one has ever done something like this for me before. And as anyone who knows me knows, I don’t typically accept things like this. From anyone. Sure. Buy me a coffee or a lunch once in a while, (and I will reciprocate), but this? Normally, it makes me uncomfortable.
This was different. I didn’t get that feeling of “Oh she just feels sorry for me” or whatever. I just knew that she sincerely wanted to give me this gift, that it made her happy to do so. And it felt right. I know that if I were a better money manager, this is something *I* would offer to do for someone, but I didn’t know I was worth it. (And someday? I will do this for someone. Pay it forward. It’s the right thing to do.)
So I said yes. And cried some more. (It’s what I do. Apparently.)
So, starting tonight, and for the next 10 weeks, I will be back in school. Reform school. What am I hoping to get out of it? I hope to be able to tell my Inner Mean Girl to STFU (nicely of course… *batting eyelashes innocently*). I want to stop hearing all the negative things that go on in my head. I want to find the motivation to get off of the couch and walk. I want to replace all the negative cuck (It’s a word. Shut up.) with positive stuff. And remind myself that I am worth it.
Part of this process is to solicit support from people. So, instead of hiding on my sofa, in front of the computer, here I am. Putting it out there. I am going to Reform School and will be making positive changes in my life. I am going to need your support. (Yes. I’m looking at you… and you.) I will slip up and I need you to call me out. (But kindly, please.) And I would like to share with you what I’m going through. I hope you will help me and accept me and support me. (And if you can, join me! Sign up, too!) (No, I didn’t get paid to say that…. le sigh.)
Anyway. That’s what is going on here. And in about a week, I get to meet Angel, in person, for the first time. She is coming to visit me! And I’m sure I’ll cry again.
Thank you, Angel, from the bottom of my heart. You have given me a gift that I can never repay. I hope I am worth it. And I hope I deserve it. And I look forward to going to Reform School with you.
*One of Tony’s lines has stuck with me. And I think it’s kind of appropriate here: If you always do what you always did, you will always get what you always got. If you want something different, you need to do different.
Who knew Tony DiNozzo could be so profound?
Oh, hello!! I’m just making coffee. Want some?
So, it seems that there is good news just popping up all over the place today! Not for me, yet, but as much as I hate to admit it, it’s not *always* about me. Apparently.
Tall dude at work got a new chair. Which may not seem like a big deal, but trust me, it is.
Mr. Russia sold an old iPhone for almost $200 – 1st generation. 4 years old. Holy cr@p!
Greg’s fiance got her new ring – the old one had much wrong with it (Thanks, Jared) so they had to get her a new one.
It’s possible that someone will be tendering his resignation here, in order to pursue what sounds like a very exciting new opportunity.
And one of my besties has a new gig that I can’t talk about, but it’s VERY exciting!!
And through it all, I’m celebrating with them. The best part for me – because I’ll make it about me if it kills me – is that where I normally would have a pang of jealousy and would think “When will it be *my* turn??”… That didn’t happen. I’m truly thrilled for each of these people and the wonderful events in their lives.
It’s so nice to hear the good stuff. There’s too much focus on the bad stuff in this world. So, today, I’m asking you to celebrate the good stuff – even the small things like a new chair. Let’s make the small wins more important for a while.
YAY for everyone!!!
Oh, hello! Come in, have some coffee. The muffins are almost done.
Before I start, I would like to welcome 2 new readers: Hawk Eye and Foible Gal. I know they are new, because they commented. There may have been others, but without comments, I would have no idea. Foible Gal also has a blog that you can find here. So, a big Mag and Moo welcome to you both.
Now. On with the whining:
I found out that someone here at the Gas ‘n Sip got engaged over the weekend. He and I work in the same area, and Soon-to-be Mrs also works here, but in a different area. They’ve had some ups and downs in the relationship recently, but it seems that has all been worked out and now… onward to wedded bliss. (And yes, he went to Jared. *heh*) I wish the absolute best to both of them. They deserve every happiness.
A day later, I also found out that another friend of mine is now in a serious relationship with “an incredible guy”. She has also been through some ups and downs with previous relationships and has been treated very badly in some of them. She also recently lost a loved one, so it’s time she got some good ju-ju going in her life. Turns out, Mr. Incredible Guy helped her through her recent loss, and they talk all the time, despite not living especially close to each other. She sounds so happy! I don’t know him very well, but if he really treats her the way she describes? Then I am thrilled for them too. I like to see happy couples.
Things like this is why Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday. (That’s a whole other post…)
So, what am I whining about this time?? Good things are happening, and yet I whine. (It’s a gift. Seriously.)
I posed a question to my friend Debra the other day: Is it possible to truly be happy for other peoples’ joy while being a little bit jealous? Can a person hold 2 opposing thoughts in their brain and have them both be true? Or am I just incredibly self-absorbed and need to make it all about me again?
I Googled that question (the 2 opposing thoughts one, not the “Am I self-absorbed” one) and found: intelligence is the ability to hold two opposing ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.” by Fitzgerald, along with almost 7 million other options for answers.
I would like to believe that while, yes, I possess a certain level of self-absorption, I am not SO far gone that I need to make it all about me. I know that, yes, I really am happy for both of these couples and I really do want them to succeed in remaining as happy as they are right now. But also, yes, I am a little jealous and would like to feel some of that new love giddiness and long-term commitment security in my own life.
So, what do you think? Tell me if you have ever thought 2 things that were opposing, at the same time. What were they? Did you question your sanity? (That probably just happens to me… never mind.) I’m curious how others handle this phenomenon.
Oh, hello! Come in and have tea. And toast. With cinnamon-sugar.
Yesterday’s post was my 100th post on this blog. I didn’t notice it until after I hit publish.
I think I started this blog last June, not having any idea what I was doing, but knowing that I wanted to be writing. Something. I thought I would be one of those funny bloggers, but it hasn’t turned out that way, I think. Some of my posts have some humor in them, but most are more serious or introspective or sad. I do know that if you had asked me last June, I would have thought – 100 posts?!? Are you crazy? I don’t have that much to blather on about. (Well, some of the people who know me IRL would say that I should have had 100 posts by August of last year, but still…)
I read/subscribe to a bunch of blogs myself. I envy their wit and humor and eloquence and depth, but while I love their writing, I don’t know how to write any other way. The way I write is the way I am – I tend to just put stuff out there and let the chips fall. I would rather be “real” than sugar coat stuff. (And, for clarification, I don’t believe the people whose blogs I follow are being fake; just in general life, I get frustrated with people who spend all their time carefully choosing their words so as to not offend people. The bloggers I follow all tend to do the same as I do.)
One thing that gets me though is the frequency with which I see, in other blogs, mentions of the number of drafts, and how much time is spent editing and re-reading. THAT is when I wonder if I am doing something wrong. I wonder if I should have more drafts. Or if I should take a long time, rereading and word-smithing. I do neither now. Maybe my readership would be better if I did. Maybe not.
There have been a bunch of blogs that I’ve seen lately where they talk about how many visitors they have daily, or how many hits they have, or they compare themselves to other bloggers. I think I do that to a point – I check to see what my “counter” is up to, but for the most part, I don’t dwell on it. (I do love to see the counter thing go up; I squee a little every time. ) In actuality, I would guess I have about 10 people who regularly stop by. But that’s okay. I love that *anyone* stops by. A huge THANK YOU to you if you are reading this.
So, about 10 months in, and 100 posts later, onward. I hope to keep improving and to keep you coming back. And I hope the days where I post something to go into the “don’t even bother to read this” category become few and far between.
Thank you again. Here’s to 100 more.
Oh, hello! Come in and have a mini Twix bar. And tea.
I absolutely LOVE Valentine’s day. (No pun intended.)
It is my favorite holiday of the year. You would think (or should think) that I would hate it, because in all honesty, I have NO IDEA when it was that I actually had a “Valentine” to share it with. Seriously, no recollection. None. (Please wait while I break out into “All By Myself”…)
I’m back. Sorry about that.
I love to see people at work get flowers. I love to see all the cards out there. I get it that people think it’s just a holiday created by the card makers to sell more cards. And that “everyday should be a day to show someone you love them.”
And that is very true. But, guess what? It doesn’t happen. People get wrapped up in daily life and forget to tell the people in their life that they love them or that they are happy to have that person in their life or that they make them smile. So, why not take one day for that. This way, the next time the dog horks up a piece of a chew toy, or the kids are ripping curtains off the windows, you both can know that there is still love in the air.
Many, many moons ago, on Valentine’s day, there were big red hearts taped up throughout the city. A caper committed by “The Valentine Bandit”. No one knew who did it, and no one claimed responsibility, but it was a nice thing to do, and it brought smiles to peoples’ faces. Turns out that it was the police department doing it, and the tradition continues and has bled over into adjacent cities and towns. Personally, I love that.
So, if you are with someone, make an extra effort on Sunday to tell, or show, that person how you feel. If you already do that every day, keep it up. And if, like me, you will be alone this Sunday, do something to show YOURSELF that you are the most important person in your life. See a movie. Buy yourself flowers. Buy yourself a fancy coffee. But do something that brings a smile to either yourself or to someone else. There’s too much yuck out there. Start spreading a little love in your corner of the world.
Big hugs to you.
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