Oh, hello. Have a Skinny Cow.
I know I already posted today. But I just tried this recipe and wanted to share it with you.
*******************
Low Cal Chicken Cordon Bleu
4 5oz boneless, skinless chicken breasts
4 wedges Laughing Cow cheese, garlic and herb
12 slices ham
Salt and Pepper to taste
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
Place chicken in sealed bag. Use meat tenderizer to pound chicken to 1/4″ thick. Season with sale and pepper on both sides.
Lay chicken flat; spread cheese wedge over it. Layer 3 slices ham. Roll chicken tightly, secure with toothpicks.
Bake in baking dish lines with foil. Cover with foil and bake 20 minutes. Uncover and bake another 15 minutes.
**************
It was pretty darn tasty. I wouldn’t use salt next time because the ham is pretty salty already. I used the thin sliced ham from the deli section of the supermarket. But this will become a new dinner for me.
Try it.
Oh, hello! We’re having saltines with fluff. Sounds odd, but the salty + sweet = YUM!
Where we left off last week:
Amanda -5 and Rebecca -7 (Amanda counts) (2.08%)
Daniel -6 and Shay -6 (Shay counts) (1.35%)
Allen -4 and Abby -5 (they have immunity)
Rudy -12 and Dina -3 (Rudy counts – he’s in the 300s!) (3.00%)
Antoine -11 and Sean -6 (Sean counts) (1.46%)
Liz -4 and Danny -4 (Liz counts) (1.62%)
Julio -7 (1.87%)
Mo -1 and Tracey -11 (Tracey counts) (5.26%)
Red team, Antoine and Sean went home and have done really well. Everyone hates Tracey. (Including me.) And the previews showed that she gets hurt this week. I know I shouldn’t celebrate an injury, but…. *heh*
Recap of week three. Replaying all the reason’s everyone hates Tracey and how she screwed everyone last week. Shay is blaming both purple. Dude! Mo didn’t do anything!!! Snatch.
B&J are counseling the fatties to stay for themselves. Crazy eyes has to meet with the Doc about getting to exercise. The rest are working out with Bob – weights. Now onto cardio. Bob is talking to Miss America. Jillian is talking to Julio. “Why are you so fat??” “Have you ever been good enough? Have you ever excelled?” He knows food. He’s obsessed with food. (His words, not mine. But he was 407 pounds. Just saying…) The only failure you will ever have is not trying. ~Jillian. Very deep.
Crazy eyes is with the Doc. Blood tests every three days so far. (Holy crap!) High levels of CPK – muscle damaging. She’s shut down. No exercise. No walking. No swimming. (WOW!) She crying. She doesn’t want to go home. Whatev. Now she’s going to break the news to Mo. The Doc doesn’t want her to lose any weight at all. (Um, he didn’t say that.) Mo is being kind. And now he has to pick up her slack. Again.
They all walk into a kitchen. Sami is there. The cupboards and fridges are chained and locked. For 7 days. They have to order out every single meal. Tough love, fatties. Order good stuff, just like in the real world. Challenge. 3 Choices for dinner. The team that makes the healthiest choice wins a kitchen stocked with healthy food for a year. Shay says – I work 3 jobs. I need this. (Yeah, witch. So does everyone.) They each have a chance and are grilling Sami. Half pick A, half pick C. A was healthiest. Brown, Orange and Pink are all up for the free food. One last question. Pink wins. Shay looks pissed. Shocking.
Product Placement: The Biggest Loser Simple Swaps book. Things you can swap at restaurants. Kinda cool. $13 at Amazon. Blue guy and Brown chick went to get the food. None of them got what they ordered. Brown guy is mad. Jillian tells us to swap mashed taters for cauliflower. Um, how ’bout, no. I like both, but no comparison.
Trainers are just finding out about the take out meals. Natch, Jillian is pissed. (Quick product placement with Extra Sugar-free gum). B&J are going to take them all out for a meal to show them how to eat. J has some tough ass boots on that makes me fear her even more. They are at a Mexican restaurant. They say no thank you to the free chips and salsa. J is dogging one of the pink chicks and has made her cry – but still not good enough for J.”What is your purpose for changing?” (Day-um! J is being very deep tonight!) B is chiming in now too. They are told to order water. Shay sent her meal back to get it fixed. I’m sure she’s getting back a spit meal. J is analyzing Miss America’s meal. Whew! That’s over.
Here’s Bob with a tip, in his “Hi, I’m gay!” rainbow striped shirt. Telling us all to be a PITA at restaurants – think “When Harry Met Sally” and how Sally ordered stuff. Expect spit.
They’re having a challenge – something on water. They are playing for immunity. Grab a handlebar, hang on as long as you can. Platform keeps getting steeper. Abby and Crazy eyes aren’t competing. (I am so sick of Shay always getting her comment in.) Brown chick is out. Brown guy is out. Miss America is out. Blue guy is out. Pink is out. Blue chick is out. Mo is out. Shay is out. Julio is out. It’s down to Green guy and Orange guy. (I’ll get their names eventually.)
Recap of hour one. And now back to the challenge. Green is out. Orange won immunity. Back to the gym. Last chance workout. B has them on treadmills. J is working with Blue guy. I guess his name is Rudy. She’s yelling at him. Natch. (He’s like a giant next to her. Heh.) She isn’t letting him put the kettlebells down. B is now picking on pink team. B has them jumping onto those benches like he does every year. And here is Crazy eyes sitting in the kitchen. Whining. Mo is working his butt off. (GO MO). Mo is hurt. Lower back. Trying to do too much.
Bob think Mo is wussing out. Panicking. Bob wants to know if he wants to go home. He’s thought about it. Bob is giving him an hour to rest and then try the bike. And he goes back into the gym. They are all happy for him. He’s pushing himself.
Walking to the weigh in. They are all saying how hard it has been with the eating out.
This week’s weigh in:
Amanda -5 to 230 and Rebecca -4 to 244 (1.86%)
Daniel -0 to 287 and Shay -5 to 432 (they have immunity) (.69%) (B thinks Daniel is game-playing)
Allen -7 to 285 and Abby -3 to 213 (1.97%)
Rudy -11 to 377 and Dina -5 to 229 (65 in four weeks, Rudy?!?! Holy crap!) (2.57%)
Liz -3 to 240 and Danny -8 to 382 (1.74%)
Julio -4 to 364 (1.09%)
Mo -8 to 318 and Tracey -4 to 213 (Crazy eyes gave excuses before she even weighed in.) (2.21%)
Brown and Black are up for elimination. Much wailing and gnashing of teeth while they decide who to vote out. They all think Liz would vote them out with no problem.
Orange votes Black out.
Blue votes Brown out.
Green votes Black out.
Purple votes Black out.
Julio is going home. Much crying and hugging. At home, he’s at 299. (He started at 407.) Still cooking. Lots of local organic food. The wife is being very supportive. He looks good. He wants to be at 200 by the finale.
Next week: blue v black. Golden ticket winner picks teams.
Oh, hello! We’re having sangria tonight. Not really diet friendly, but we’re not really on the show. So? Tough noogies.
Where we ended:
Amanda -4 and Rebecca -6
Daniel -7 and Shay -16
Allen -10 and Abby -11
Rudy -14 and Dina -8
Antoine -8 and Sean -11
Liz -10 and Danny -12
Julio -19
Mo -9 and Tracey -10
No one went home.
Start off with Sami offering the contestants a choice. Would you rather have the trainers or an advantage at the weigh in. Choices by team. Advantage (2 pounds) goes to 1 team – whichever chooses first. Purple team took it. Well, purple chick took it. Mo is pissed!! Kinda hating purple chick right now.
B&J comes in. Purple chick is so going to throw Mo under the bus. Biznatch! B&J are pissed now too. Purple chick is crying. They are telling her what’s what. Mo is the one who loses. She’s blaming fear. She thinks it’s a big friggin joke!
Abby (green chick) has a stress fracture. She can swim. No land exercises. No weight on it. She’s crying but is determined to not give up. Gotta give her props. Another obstacle and she isn’t giving up. I can’t hate her. Bob is giving her a little pep talk and going on about nutrition. Oops. Product placement. Yogurt.
Temptation. Would you rather control your diet or control the game. Phucking purple chick wants to control the game of course. Whoever wins the challenge determines which team member controls the weigh in – only one person from each team will represent the team on the scale. Who ever eats more cupcakes, wins the challenge. Red dude ate one. Purple chick is dying to. And she’s eating. And eating. Purple chick is still eating. She ate 4 cupcakes. Red dude ate 2. She won. I hate her. If Mo goes home because of this snatch, I’m going to be PISSED!! Jill is PISSED!!! And she has a right to be. Purple chick is taking it as a joke.
Workouts beginning. Mo is watching what everyone else is doing and copying them when they are done. Good for him. Brown dude is playing with the ginormous tire. Jillian is laughing at him.
(I’m leaving out all the references to commercials this time because, OMGoat, there are too many of them.)
They are in a field. Sami has a cowboy hat on. There is a huge incline, and 25 pound buckets, or small 5 pound buckets. They have to bring the buckets up, and get 500 pounds to win. Abby and Tracey are hurt, so they are sitting out. Their teammates are on their own and only have to do 250 pounds. Orange, Brown, Red, and Black are all doing the 25 pounds. The rest are doing 2 of 5 pounds. It’s between pink and green at this point. Green won. They have immunity. Yay, Green. Pink is in second. Brown is going to finish. Blue is on the way to finishing. Orange is finishing. Red is running up to finish. They all went over and helped Mo finish. They were showing him that he didn’t have to do it alone. Get rid of Mo’s “partner” and this cast kicks ass!!
Last chance workouts. Shay seems to be “getting” it. Cartman seems to “get” it. Blue chick is whining. Jill is yelling at her. She’s running. And made it. Bob is dogging Pink blond chick. She whined. Then did it anyway.
Oh, now Purple chick is all stressed about who to pick. It is ALL about game-play with this hag. Jillian is going off!! *snort*. Everyone is looking around like “Uh-oh! Momma’s getting mad!!”
Purple chick has totally phucked EVERYONE over this week.
Tonight’s weigh-in:
Amanda -5 and Rebecca -7 (Amanda counts) (2.08%)
Daniel -6 and Shay -6 (Shay counts) (1.35%)
Allen -4 and Abby -5 (they have immunity)
Rudy -12 and Dina -3 (Rudy counts – he’s in the 300s!) (3.00%)
Antoine -11 and Sean -6 (Sean counts) (1.46%)
Liz -4 and Danny -4 (Liz counts) (1.62%)
Julio -7 (1.87%)
Mo -1 and Tracey -11 (Tracey counts) (5.26%)
Goat bless Mo for still being a good man.
Two teams go below yellow line and one team will go home. Orange is below the yellow line. Red is below the yellow line. Shay is losing it. She doesn’t think she will make it at home. Red dude is trying to be good. Both Red dudes are agreeing to self-sacrifice for the benefit of Orange. They are both being so amazing. Shay really appreciates this, I think. I really like how this cast seems to be really supporting each other, and they are all (except Tracey) there for the right reasons. V v cool.
Black voted Red to go.
Green voted Red to go.
Pink voted Red to go.
Purple voted Red to go. (She’s making excuses again. Hate. Bitch makes me stabby.)
Red team – OUT. 😦
AT home update: Antoine is down 105!!! He and Alexandra are together. They seem happy and in love. Sean is down 120 pounds!! He’s running. It’s so cool. Mrs. Sean is pregnant with a little girl that they are going to name Jillian. They both look great!
Next week? Purple chick gets injured. Coincidence or karma?
Oh, hello! Come in and have a Caramelized Apple Tart* and some coffee.
My rant today is about the media. And all the time that is wasted on stupid stuff.
Do any of us REALLY care about Jon and Kate? About her new stupid hair-do? About his girlfriend? What about Misha Barton having a meltdown? Or how much the First Lady’s sneakers cost?
I freely admit that I look at the headlines on the tabloids. I even buy a People magazine on occasion. (I used to subscribe, but thought it was a waste of money for something that could be read in about 10 minutes.) I am not “above” reading about celebrity crap.
But OMGoat! Enough! Give us the “big” stories – who is getting married/divorced, who had a baby, who died. I don’t need to know about every time Kate Hudson goes to a baseball game. Or Lindsey Lohan goes shopping. Or Matthew McConahay goes running. There has to be something more important going on in the world than the fact that Kanye pulled another assholish move and dissed Taylor Swift. Let me think… OH! that’s right! There’s a friggin war in Afghanistan (among other places) and we (Americans, among other countries) have troops (sons, daughters, husbands, wives, parents) there.
And as far as the President goes? The complaining about him screwing up the country started BEFORE he even took office. Really? Can the complainers see into the future?? And where can I buy that skill? Like him or hate him, agree with him or don’t, but Judas H. Priest! Give the guy a fair chance to phuck everything up before you burn him in effigy! I would expect that of ANY president, regardless of the political party to which they belong. And to sit and analyze EVERY SINGLE THING HE DOES – mostly on the stuff not “Oh, by the way, I’m running the country” related, is childish and petty. Analyze the big decisions. Call your Congress and Senate representatives about that stuff. Don’t bitch because the First Family is wealthy and Mrs. Obama can afford, and chooses to wear, $500 sneakers. I may think it’s stupid to pay that much too, but if she has the money and wants them? LET HER.
Jesus Christ. Move on. Let’s get out of the weeds and focus on the big issues. There are plenty of wonderful charities doing great works all over the planet. Find out more about them. Read to the elderly. Teach someone to read. Go for a walk. But, please. Just stop with the inane blathering of all things inconsequential. There’s too much noise in the world already. Maybe we can help quiet it.
*Recipe for tarts:
How to Prepare: Take one pastry shell (half), layer on cheesecake, add 3-4 apple slices, then drizzle with caramel.
|
Oh, hello! Come in and have a sugar-free popsicle, and we’ll watch episode one together.
A new season of TBL starts tonight. I can’t wait. The transformations are usually phenomenal, even though, by the end of the season, the remaining contestants make me stabby.
This season is being called “The Season of Second Chances”.
The contestants:
Abby: 35 yo teacher; her “second chance” is that she lost her husband and 2 kids in a fatal car accident (SAD!!), and wants to get back to life. Horrible, horrible story. Really. She’s 5’4″. Starting weight: 247 pounds.
Alexandra: 20 yo college student; 5’8″. Second chance at a future – living a normal college life. Cannot currently fit into the classroom seats. Starting weight: 309 pounds
Allen: 44 yo fireman. 5’11”. Second chance: success as a fireman. His weight currently puts others in his unit at risk. Starting weight: 325 pounds.
Amanda: 19 yo Patient Care Tech. 5’6″. Second chance: “to really start living in her 20s”. (WTH?) She is the one selected at the finale of last season. Starting weight: 250 pounds.
Antoine: 23 yo Health Insurance Agent. 6’0″. (health insurance? heh.) Second chance: his father died at age 30, and he feels he may too. Starting weight: 367 pounds.
Daniel: 20 yo student. 5’8″. Second chance: he was on last season with the dick-head partner who didn’t do much. I liked him last season, and wanted him to succeed, but honestly, I don’t know how I feel about him having another go on this show. I think it irritates me that he comes back, when there are so many others in this country who would love the opportunity. He’s already lost 142 pounds at home, so he clearly has a handle on it. We’ll see if he can change my mind. Starting weight: 312 pounds.
Danny: 39 yo land surveyor/musician. 5’11”. Second chance: he previously lost weight and gained it back. His family wants him to be more healthy. Rock star at 17. Starting weight: 430 pounds.
Dina: 28 yo custodian. 5’5″. Second chance: gained weight while pregnant with her son. Her doctor said her weight is preventing her from getting pregnant again. Starting weight: 253 pounds.
Julio: 40 yo mortgage loan officer. 6’0″. Second chance: To help him with his job and to be an example for his wife and kids. Starting weight: 407 pounds.
Liz: 47 yo salesperson. 5’7″. Second chance: to have energy to play with the 9 grandkids and to be healthier for her husband who had bypass surgery. Starting weight: 267 pounds.
Mo: 56 yo youth mentor. 6’2″. Second chance: to be a role model for the kids he mentors and to prove that you can do anything you set your mind to. (oops, my participle is dangling… *blush*). Starting weight: 355 pounds.
Rebecca: 25 yo student/nanny. 5’6″. Second chance: previously lost weight and gained it again. Has been called fat all of her life. 235 by 14. (Yikes!) Starting weight: 279 pounds.
Rudy: 34 yo engineer. 6’4″. (Big ‘un!) Second chance: to be healthy for his kids and to be around to walk his daughters down the aisle. Starting weight: 442 pounds.
Sean: 29 yo youth pastor. 6’2″. Second chance: he is also a musician and losing weight will help him to succeed in that. 2 kids and one on the way. Starting weight: 444 pounds.
Shay: 30 yo social worker. 5’8″. Second chance: to be a better role model for her clients and help motivate them. Also, she grew up in foster care, while her homeless mother lost her battle with a heroine addiction. Starting weight: 476 pounds. (making her the single largest contestant, man or woman, to ever be on the show.)
Tracey: 37 yo homemaker. 5’2″. Second chance: gained a lot of pregnancy weight (4 kids! UGH!) and wants to be able to run with her Marine husband. Starting weight: (TBD – She’s still at the hospital.) (She gets helicoptered out for medical attention.)
Of course, Jillian and Bob are back. They are co-training this season. I’m not sure what that means. We’ll find out. And Ali is the host. Let the fun begin!
Ali greets them and gives them a challenge. They have to run a mile. The winner gets Immunity at this weeks weigh in. And pick a partner for the rest of the season. Both have immunity. Fatties are not happy. She stops them before they start so that Daniel can arrive. (Pause for 42 commercials). We’re back. Most are walking. Tracey “sprinted” up the hill. Then couldn’t run down the hill. Shay is last so far. Lots of encouraging each other so far. Daniel won. 14:20 for a mile. Not bad. Tracey is down. Mo is uber sweating and with the doctors. Shay is down. And she’s up. Tracey is still down. Medic is with her. Everyone is helping her. Carrying her. And she’s down again. (It’s really bad, but I’m giggling.) She can’t keep her eyes open. She on the table. Medics are everywhere. Just called the med-evac. Aaaaaand, she’s off to the hospital. (Pause for 37 commercials.)
We’re back. Tracey and Mo are still at the hospital, but still fine. They are picking partners now. Wait, 1 hour of bonding before partnering. Lots of tears. Lots of sad stories.
Partners are:
Daniel and Shay – orange team
Allen and Abby – green team
Amanda and Rebecca – pink team
Rudy and Dina – blue team
Antoine and Sean – red team
Liz and Danny – brown team
Alexandra and Julio – black team
Mo and Shay – purple team
Weigh ins! And enter Bob and Jillian. Jillian is already bitchy. Lots of tears. Lots of shots of Bob and Jillian looking astounded. More people over 400 pounds than any other season. Bob is horrified at the size of Shay. (*snort*).
Workouts! They all have body bugs. (I’ve checked – $275). Jillian is already yelling. Lots of sweat. Lots of flashed of gut. (EEK!). Tears. Oh, god. There are a lot of moobs this season. And WE HAVE PUKING!!! (ftw)
The trainers are cussing up a storm. “Make a choice. If you don’t choose to change, no one can help you.” From Jillian. Not bad.
Shay just wussed out of the work out. Probably not the best idea when Jillian is screeching at you during your first work out.
(42 more commercials. And a recap of the first hour.)
Back to Shay. Sobbing. B&J are ignoring her trying to get her to come back. She manned up, and went back in. And J is back in her face.
Mo is back. He was dehydrated, low blood sugar and low blood pressure. Red guy (Sean, I think) gave him the purple shirt and told him that Tracey is his partner and still in the hospital.
Trip to the doctor. Dr. H greets them and scares the crap out of them with medical stuff. CA Health and Longevity Institute for more tests. MRIs and X-Rays and blood tests and on and on. Again, scaring the crap out of the fatties. What diseases they have, their actual age versus their medical age. OMG. More tears. Followed by 57 more commercials.
Last chance workout, BITCH! Screaming, puking, sweating, grunting, pain, drama, falling. Julio smooched Jillian for dogging him. Hee. Bob: this group has a lot of emotional baggage. Ya think?? Waiting for Alexandra to belt J in the head with the weights.
Weigh in: (Oh, wait. More commercials.)
(I’m going to show amount of weight lost this week.)
Daniel -12 and Shay -17 (they have immunity)
Allen -19 and Abby -15 (WOW!)
Amanda -6 and Rebecca -18
Rudy -28 and Dina -8
Antoine -18 and Sean -22 (reminds me of Cartman) (WOW!)
Liz -10 and Danny -24
Alexandra -13 and Julio -13
Mo -19 and Shay – TBD (GO MO!)
There is a whole lot of BAD makeup going on this season. Oy! So far, I love Coach Mo. (GO MO!!) I hate Alexandra. Not loving Daniel right now. He’s cocky – like “I’ve done this before, you should listen to me”. I like the brown team. I like the green team. Not loving pink. Jury is still out on the rest.
Black team is below the yellow line. Alexandra and Julio. Alexandra is going home by a vote of 4-3!! Thank goat. Bitch is out of there. Transformation moment: lost 60 pounds at home. She looks pretty good. The makeup is still criminal. She wants to be at 180 by finale.
Oh, hello! Come on in. Have a Guinness. A truly magical drink.
Last night, there was a debate on Twitter about the pros and cons of carrot cake. *gag* There are some who think carrot cake with it’s cloying cream cheese frosting is wonderful. There are others, like me, who think carrots and cake should not mix. “It’s all in how it’s made.” “It’s just gross.” And on and on.
This got me to thinking about my food issues. For the most part, I am a pretty adventurous eater. I’ll try something new, knowing that if I don’t care for it, I never have to eat it again. Based on that theory, I’ve tried alligator. It wasn’t bad, until I started thinking about it, and then the gag factor kicked in and I was done. I might try it again, but it’s not something that I have to go in search of.
I really like calamari. But I can only eat the rings; the tentacle bits sqweeve me out. I can’t even try it. But now sushi? LOVE it. If it wasn’t so expensive, I would eat sushi every day. Tuna, salmon, crab, eel. LOVE it.
I have two really big food issues: wet cake and bananas. *shudder*
Wet cake: tiramisu, birthday cake with ice cream on it, strawberry short cake. (seriously. *shudder*) I am pretty sure it’s a texture issue. But, ugh. I just cannot eat it. Apple sauce has a similar texture. Yick. It’s mushy and just gross. And yet, french onion soup? LOVE it. That has wet bread in it, and that doesn’t gross me out. Someone once said that it’s the cold that that makes it icky for me. Maybe so, but I don’t think I will be changing my mind anytime soon.
Bananas: there is about a 20 minute window of opportunity on bananas. Within that 20 minutes, it reaches perfect ripeness, perfect color and texture. Outside of that window, all bets are off, and it goes in the trash. The perfect banana has just stopped being green, there will be no brown spots, and it will be firm to the bite. I cannot buy bananas in a bunch. By the time I would get to it, the window of goodness would have shut. Once the banana has brown spots, it starts to get a little gushy inside, WAY too sweet, and gets that sweet banana-y stink to it. And the banana peel? That has to go in the trash in another room. The stink makes me gag.
BTDub, my brother Herb? He’ll wait to eat a banana until right before the fruit flies come out. Banana bread worthy. (I just threw up in my mouth a little). I could probably give my “old” bananas to Herb, but since I only eat bananas rarely (because I know they are good for me) and only buy them one at a time, I rarely have “old” bananas.
Now, the white-trash things that most people don’t admit to eating.
- Funyuns? Love them. They are gross, and yet yummy. Except for the fact that they rip the sh*t out of the roof of your mouth, so good!
- Vienna sausages. Admittedly, I haven’t had them for a very long time, but I used to like them. Herb and I wonder if they could be grilled. And what would happen to that weird gelatinous goo that they are packed in.
- Cheese fries. These are actually probably not white trash, but cheese fries KICK ASS!!! But the cheese has to be of the melted cheez-whiz variety for them to be really yummy. The refined shredded cheese type – while good – do not cheese fries make.
- Canned corned beef. Again – gross, yet yummy. Again, surrounded by a weird gelatinous goo.
- Cheez-whiz. So good on saltines, rice cakes, nachos, a spoon *heh*
- Ramen noodles. You can buy about 20 for a dollar, and really? Not very good in the grand scheme of things, but there is a peanut sauce in the international aisle that’s good, and if you add a little chicken and ditch the uber-sodiumized “flavoring” and it’ll do in a pinch.
I’m sure there are other white trash things that I like and other food issues I have, but I think that’s enough for now.
Okay, who wants a snack?? *snort*
MagAndMoo's Blog 