Oh, hello! Come on in. Have a Guinness. A truly magical drink.
Last night, there was a debate on Twitter about the pros and cons of carrot cake. *gag* There are some who think carrot cake with it’s cloying cream cheese frosting is wonderful. There are others, like me, who think carrots and cake should not mix. “It’s all in how it’s made.” “It’s just gross.” And on and on.
This got me to thinking about my food issues. For the most part, I am a pretty adventurous eater. I’ll try something new, knowing that if I don’t care for it, I never have to eat it again. Based on that theory, I’ve tried alligator. It wasn’t bad, until I started thinking about it, and then the gag factor kicked in and I was done. I might try it again, but it’s not something that I have to go in search of.
I really like calamari. But I can only eat the rings; the tentacle bits sqweeve me out. I can’t even try it. But now sushi? LOVE it. If it wasn’t so expensive, I would eat sushi every day. Tuna, salmon, crab, eel. LOVE it.
I have two really big food issues: wet cake and bananas. *shudder*
Wet cake: tiramisu, birthday cake with ice cream on it, strawberry short cake. (seriously. *shudder*) I am pretty sure it’s a texture issue. But, ugh. I just cannot eat it. Apple sauce has a similar texture. Yick. It’s mushy and just gross. And yet, french onion soup? LOVE it. That has wet bread in it, and that doesn’t gross me out. Someone once said that it’s the cold that that makes it icky for me. Maybe so, but I don’t think I will be changing my mind anytime soon.
Bananas: there is about a 20 minute window of opportunity on bananas. Within that 20 minutes, it reaches perfect ripeness, perfect color and texture. Outside of that window, all bets are off, and it goes in the trash. The perfect banana has just stopped being green, there will be no brown spots, and it will be firm to the bite. I cannot buy bananas in a bunch. By the time I would get to it, the window of goodness would have shut. Once the banana has brown spots, it starts to get a little gushy inside, WAY too sweet, and gets that sweet banana-y stink to it. And the banana peel? That has to go in the trash in another room. The stink makes me gag.
BTDub, my brother Herb? He’ll wait to eat a banana until right before the fruit flies come out. Banana bread worthy. (I just threw up in my mouth a little). I could probably give my “old” bananas to Herb, but since I only eat bananas rarely (because I know they are good for me) and only buy them one at a time, I rarely have “old” bananas.
Now, the white-trash things that most people don’t admit to eating.
- Funyuns? Love them. They are gross, and yet yummy. Except for the fact that they rip the sh*t out of the roof of your mouth, so good!
- Vienna sausages. Admittedly, I haven’t had them for a very long time, but I used to like them. Herb and I wonder if they could be grilled. And what would happen to that weird gelatinous goo that they are packed in.
- Cheese fries. These are actually probably not white trash, but cheese fries KICK ASS!!! But the cheese has to be of the melted cheez-whiz variety for them to be really yummy. The refined shredded cheese type – while good – do not cheese fries make.
- Canned corned beef. Again – gross, yet yummy. Again, surrounded by a weird gelatinous goo.
- Cheez-whiz. So good on saltines, rice cakes, nachos, a spoon *heh*
- Ramen noodles. You can buy about 20 for a dollar, and really? Not very good in the grand scheme of things, but there is a peanut sauce in the international aisle that’s good, and if you add a little chicken and ditch the uber-sodiumized “flavoring” and it’ll do in a pinch.
I’m sure there are other white trash things that I like and other food issues I have, but I think that’s enough for now.
Okay, who wants a snack?? *snort*
2009/07/31 at 4:18 pm
Alligator – yum (although I felt bad about eating it). Calamari and sushi – double yum. Corned beef hash, cheese fries – yum.
HATE carrot cake AND bananas, and I’m not too fond of banana bread. Applesauce – gross. I can’t stand having Cheez-whiz or American cheese in the same room. Blech.
Ooooooh, I love Funyuns!
Milk – Ugh. I dislike most dairy products, including ice cream, and only have milk in my tea or coffee. Exception: Chocolate cake HAS to have vanilla ice cream. Preferably with hot fudge and a cherry on top.
Oh, and the white trashiest thing I like? Pork rinds. Way trashier than Vienna sausages, but maybe not as trashy as Cheez-whiz.
2009/08/02 at 2:41 pm
pork rinds taste like ass. i remember when i was little, they actually put bacon flavoring on pork rinds. now, they are just…so wrong.
2009/08/03 at 11:39 pm
we just started not long ago getting that cheese in those whipped cans in the shops here …i brought one for fun …and …um it was fuckin wired stuff ….took it too family event we all had fun trying it but wont buy it again lmao
2009/07/31 at 2:50 pm
Ugh. I was one of the ANTI carrot cake people. I just don’t get it. I like my carrots plain and uncooked. I don’t like them smothered in cream cheese frosting (although I’ll eat an entire bowl of cream cheese frosting), I don’t like the spicy flavors. And frankly, most carrot cake sucks. I’ve only had one that was truly magical.
I sort of get your wet cake thing. But so far the only wet cake that I don’t like is that dulce de leche cake. Not sure if you ever had it but it’s basically a really milky cake. And I hate milk. Unless it’s in my cereal. Or in my coffee.
I have so many weird food issues that if I were to write about them it would be have to be an ongoing series. But at least now I know to never send you a Tiramasu.
2009/07/30 at 10:10 pm
Sorry, carrot cake is my favorite cake in the WORLD. It is what I request every birthday and special occasion. If we ever celebrate together, I’ll have chocolate though. Chocolate is also very, very good. And friends are better than cake, any day. 🙂
2009/07/30 at 7:50 pm
love love food myself …lol oh sushi is so easy to make and cheap we make it all the time but with cooked praws ewwww raw salmon ……lol .while im not familiar with ya list of 6 foods as im form austrlia ..they sound like foods stuffs we .would eat by the handfull in my house of me and 4 daughters …..lmoa …..hmmm im feeling a bit hungry now ….
2009/07/30 at 9:10 pm
SQUEEE! a comment from Austrailia!!! How fun! thank you for stopping by! 🙂
the salmon for our sushi is smoked. so i guess, technically not raw. and trust me – the 6 foods you don’t know about? consider yourself lucky!! civilized people don’t eat that stuff. unless, you know, it’s behind closed doors, with the shades pulled, and the neighbors away. shameful. really. *snort*