Goodbye 2010.
That seems to be the consensus from most people I follow on Twitter and also the 3D people I know. It seems the outgoing year was less than kind to many people. It was a year of parents passing, children passing, relationships ending, broken bones, broken hearts, and other general events of suck.
However, this past year was also a year of good things: babies born, weddings, new jobs, new relationships and other events of YAY. And, quite honestly, these things, in both categories, were all experienced by people I know.
I’m not going to pretend this is a “normal” year in review or recap or look back. I am also not going to do a look ahead at all the things I want for the coming year. One would be trite and the other would be presumptive.
What I will say is that while 2010 may have been horrible for so many, and yet so tremendous for so many others, here is my hope for 2011 for all.
I hope for all that the new year is filled with excitement, love, challenge, growth, health, happiness and adventure. I hope each person is I encounter experiences kindness and wonder and some level of bliss.
There will be times when things will be horrible. There will be times when things are beyond wonderful. But, in my opinion, ALL of these events will help each of us to become more full, more well-rounded, better people. We will learn how to better treat each other, and how to treat ourselves. This is my goal for the new year. Based on this post by one of my favorite people on the planet, KINDNESS is my word for the new year. I want people to be kinder – with themselves and with each other.
Please approach the new year gently and kindly. There will still be bad things, and old hurts, but my wish for you and for the planet is to be kind and to have the best, most interesting year possible.
I know I’m going to try to do that.
Hi. I’m Mary, and I’m addicted to sugar.
Hi Mary!
I’m sure I have spoken about this here before. Of course I have. This blog is about me. And I am somewhat self-absorbed. *heh*
So, anyway. I am addicted to processed sugar. And it’s gotten so much worse. So, as of midnight, I am done. I am going cold turkey.
There will be some relapses, but starting today, I am detoxing. Why today and not January 1? Because I have the next 4 days off and I know that I will have headaches and be really bitchy and irritable and I figured the fewer people who have to be exposed to me during this, the better.
So if you see me on Twitter and I am crankier than normal, I apologize. I’ll be better soon. And then my sweetness with be genuine, not processed.
Talk soon.
Dear Designers:
I am a woman of substance. I am a woman of size. I am not a size 2. I don’t look like Taylor Swift or Angelina Jolie or even Jennifer Hudson (now). I have curves – boobs, booty, tum. All of it. And do you know what? I look good.
I have very good taste. I am stylish. I like nice clothes. I like to dress nicely.
Yesterday, I told the world about an event in which I took part. I wanted to look nice for that event. I thought a new dress would be appropriate. So off I went to the local mall – a place I loathe, by the way – to find a dress. How hard can this be, I thought?
I will not be mentioning store names directly. Why? Because stores stock what you, the designers, makes. I. Blame. You.
The first store I went to had a limited selection of clothes for women of substance. Mostly, there were sweatshirt-type clothes. Really? Fat women only deserve sweats? Don’t even get me started.
Store number 2 had a huge selection of dresses. There must have been 25 racks of dresses. 24 of these racks had sizes no bigger than a 10. The last rack? So called “Plus” sizes, but all were very “blingy” and appropriate for, say, the mother of a bride at a mafia wedding. Um. No.
Store number 3 had one rack, and 2 wall displays of dresses. They were all 100% polyester and would have been appropriate for, say, a church outing at the retirement home.
Really, designers? Are all fat women old? Are we all lazy? And dumpy? And slovenly? Should we all be looking at Wilson Tent and Awning for our clothes? Should we hide the fact that we are beautiful and sexy and fun and confident? Why can’t we wear the same clothes as the “Misses” sizes, but just in our sizes? (I might have included Juniors sizes there, but that is a whole other post.)
I know I am not the first person to complain about this. I know that this post will never be seen by anyone in the fashion industry. And while I accept that, it makes me sad. You are missing out on a whole demographic. A wonderful demographic that has money to spend. A lot of money. A demographic that will represent you well and make you proud.
I hate the word “fat”. I hate that “Plus” is a term used to describe full-figured women. I hate that we are looked on as lesser individuals. I hate that we are labelled. I hate than anyone is labelled.
We are not lesser. We are not inferior. We deserve so much more. You are missing out on so much.
I hope some day you will learn that. I hope one day, we will get the respect we deserve.
Regards,
Mag And Moo.
Have you ever gone to see a Notary Public? You know, when you need your signature verified – you might need a notarized copy of something? I’m a Notary. It’s not hard to become one. And normally I don’t even consider it to be a big deal. Until…
Monday last, after my latest trip to Canadia, I was back in the office, thinking about how much I wished I was somewhere, anywhere, else. Then the local Director of Foreign Affairs asked if he could talk to me in the conference room. My first thought? “Oh, goat. Now what??”
The DFA never, NEVER, talks about his personal life at work. Ever. So we sit down and he says, “You may know that I got divorced 5 years ago.” No, how would I know. YOU NEVER TALK ABOUT YOURSELF. He went on: “I have been with my girlfriend for about a year and a half and we are getting married.” Me: Okay. Congratulations? Him: “You are a Notary, right?” Me: OMG! Can I marry you?? Him: “That’s what I was hoping you would do. It will be a very small ceremony. It will be at ___ hotel, then we’ll have champagne. No one here knows.”
Side note: only 3 states allow their Notaries to perform marriage ceremonies. I happen to live in one of them.
What happened next? In true MagandMoo fashion, I proceeded to freak out. Why? Because this is a HUGE event in someone’s life and what if I screw up? I knew that this was in no way about me. At all. But I kept thinking that if I didn’t do a good job, the focus would then shift to me and take it from the bride. I didn’t want that. It was their day. I was just given the honor of being a part of it.
I found some non-religious based vows online and made a few tweaks to them. Then I printed them out so that I could practice on the cats. (They were so no interested.)
So, yesterday, I went to ___ hotel at the appropriate time. I was the first one there – which was fine, because I totally thought I would be late. The DFA and his friends showed up and proceeded to give everyone a glass of cognac. At 10am. Sure. Why not.
Everyone milled around a bit for about 30 minutes. Then we hear the elevator ding, and the bride was there. We got into position and the bride came in – so lovely, so young, so giggly – in a beautiful dress, elbow length gloves, hair all pretty.
After I read the first part of what I had down-loaded, I looked at the groom – normally very serious and business-like at work. He had tears in his eyes. It was so sweet. So touching. And I knew I had found the right things to say.
We did the intentions portion. Then the exchange of rings. The groom started cheering. I had to stop him to get to the part of “You may kiss your bride”. She kept giggling.
The whole ceremony took about 15 minutes. It was his 2nd wedding, but her first. She looked so happy. Even the DFA looked happier than I have ever seen him. There were lots and lots of photos – I believe I was fortunate to avoid most – if not all – of the lenses. I was hugged and thanked and told it was an honor that I had done this thing for them. But to me? *I* was the one honored to have been part of it. No one else from the Gas ‘n Sip was there. And I can’t tell anyone! It’s not my story to tell.
When I got my Notary license, I always thought it would be fun to marry people. But then when the time came? I really *got* what a big deal this was. I was able to make this young bride’s dream come true. I changed the lives of these 2 people. Forever.
I don’t know if this union will last – I hope it does. They are certainly adorable together. But I do know that I will forever thank them for granting me the honor of being a part of their day in such a personal way.
So what did you do this weekend?
Oh hello!
I’m sure it’s become obvious that my posting here has become more sporadic of late. Unfortunately, or fortunately I think, life and other changes have gotten in the way of me coming here.
I think I knew this was coming though. Mostly because I have been struggling with what to post about. I have felt scattered and like my posts were just random rants with no meaning. And for those few of you who stop by to say hello, I want you to have better. If I’m going to do this, I want to do it well and give you something worthy of your time.
So. I will be spending (more) time trying to think of what I really want to put out to the world. And if there is something you would like to see from me, please let me know. I *will* be back. In some form. I hope you will come back too.
xoxo
Oh hello! Come in. I have new tea – white tea with peach and raspberry. It’s quite lovely.
Day 17: A book you’ve read that changed your views on something
I think the first thing that comes to mind was Under the Banner of Heaven by Jon Krakauer. From Amazon.com:
In Under the Banner of Heaven, Jon Krakauer tells the story of the killers and their crime but also explores the shadowy world of Mormon fundamentalism from which the two emerged. The Mormon Church was founded, in part, on the idea that true believers could speak directly with God. But while the mainstream church attempted to be more palatable to the general public by rejecting the controversial tenet of polygamy, fundamentalist splinter groups saw this as apostasy and took to the hills to live what they believed to be a righteous life. When their beliefs are challenged or their patriarchal, cult-like order defied, these still-active groups, according to Krakauer, are capable of fighting back with tremendous violence. While Krakauer’s research into the history of the church is admirably extensive, the real power of the book comes from present-day information, notably jailhouse interviews with Dan Lafferty.
Now, I understand that this is a fundamentalist group and that all Mormons are not represented by the group portrayed in this book. And for the most part, my philosophy about what other people/groups/religions do is, whatever. If it isn’t hurting anyone else, let them do it.
HOWEVER.
My views were changed on polygamy because I think 13 or 14 year olds, and sometimes younger, should not be considered appropriate as wives for anyone. You know what? Marry whomever you want, as long as they are 18. Younger than that is too young.
This is my opinion. It may not agree with yours, but isn’t that wonderful? How boring life would be if we always agree.
So, yeah. This book changed my views on polygamy. My mind may not have slammed completely closed, but I think I may be less cavalier about it when hearing stories in the future.
Tomorrow: Your views on gay marriage.
Oh, hello. Have a finger sandwich.
I had every intention of continuing the 30 Days of Truth today.
But I just found out that the 5-year-old daughter of a coworker passed away yesterday. And my heart is broken for the family.
I follow people on Twitter who have lost children, and recognized the tragedy of the situation. But I don’t “know” those people and that made it so easy to go on, unaffected. Actually knowing, and interacting, with the parent that has the horror of burying one of their children makes it so much more real. So much more horrible.
I don’t have kids. So I will never *really* know the depth of love and attachment that parents have for their kids. I can try to imagine it, but I recognize that even my imagination will never come close.
So, my dear coworker, my heart and thoughts go out to you today. I will forever be in awe of your strength for going on after this unimaginable tragedy. I wish there was some way to make it “better”, but there isn’t. You are now forever changed and your world will likely never be as bright.
And to all of those I follow on Twitter, and anyone else, who have had the unfortunate experience of this, know that I now will not read your story and move on, unaffected. I will recognize that your world, too, is forever broken. And while you may go on, I know that it will never be exactly right again.
Oh, hello! Come in. Have a big salad. It’s like a regular salad. But it’s in a big bowl. With a lot of stuff on it.
Today: Someone or something you definitely could live without
I could live without:
- the constant barrage of celebrity “news”
- the constant barrage of negativity from, about, and surrounding politicians
- wet cake
- fruit flavored beer
- Oprah
- profanity
- obsession about weight and physical appearance
- prejudice
- hate
Tomorrow: a book you’ve read that changed your views on something
Me again. (Well, really, who else would it be? hee)
In case you are curious about how I’m doing in Reform School, I LOVE IT. I think I’m excelling.
I have 3 Inner Mean Girls: Mean Marcy, Scaredy Kat, and Perfect Shawn. They have all been put on notice that while I value their opinions, I know what’s best for me. I need to look at the situations where they appear and figure out why. The more I do that, the stronger my resolve becomes.
I made a list of 10 things to accomplish by my 45th birthday. I don’t know that I’m ready to go public with all of them, yet, but one of them is….
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(please wait while this poster hyperventilates)
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(your patience is appreciated; please stand by)
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Okay. I am going to train for the Tri-for-a-Cure next August. It is a mini-triathlon for breast cancer. 1/3 mi swim, 15 mi bike, 3 mi run. The run will be my biggest challenge. I have bad knees. But, I have 10 months. And there’s an app for that. the Couch to 5K app that helps you train. Before Reform School, this would have been something I would have said, Yeah, I could train for that. While sitting on the sofa. Eating Munchos. Listening to Mean Marcy and Scaredy Kat tell me that I couldn’t do it and that I would fail.
And now that I’ve gone public, I *have* to do it.
Oh, and I’ll be hitting you up for donations when the time comes. And if you follow me on Twitter, I’ll be hitting you up there, too. Maybe even Facebook.
Training starts today. I’ll keep you posted.
Oh hello! Come in and have a breakfast wrap.
Today: Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Can I be honest? I’m a little bored with the 30 days of truth. I thought it would be more fun. But, in the interest of changing my habit of not following through with things, I will press on.
Today’s topic is stupid, IMO. We can all live without something. Whatever it is. Especially the “someone” you can’t live without. Yeah, you’d be sad, but you won’t die. You’d be devastated, but you won’t die. You’re life may never be the same, but you won’t die. If the Wonder Twins were taken away from me, permanently or temporarily, I would be sad. Despondent even. But I won’t die.
Maybe I’m not going deeply enough. Maybe I need to get more philosophical about this. Maybe I’m over thinking it.
Can I live without a fulfilling job? Yes. I do it every day.
Can I live without my cell phone? It would be a hassle, but yes. I could.
I can’t live without food. But that is too simplistic. As is living without air and water. I could live without chocolate. Or alcohol. Or coffee. Or more “stuff”. I have enough stuff.
I guess today’s topic is another “fail” as far as digging deep for a profound answer. But, my reality tells me that I won’t die because I’m deprived of something other than the basics.
Wait. Maybe *that* is the point of today’s question! Maybe it is designed to make you realize that you don’t need external “things” to be happy. You don’t need a partner to complete you. You are enough as you are. A partner is a wonderful addition, but won’t make you happy, in and of themself. A new pair of shoes, while fabulous, won’t make you smarter or better or funnier or more loveable.
Jeepers. Did I just have a breakthrough??
Tomorrow: Someone or something you definitely could live without.
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