Oh hello! Sorry I haven’t been around for a while. Have some noodle salad.
Several years ago, when my brother Herb was still with Satan, we had all talked about learning to kayak and/or buying them. We went to a local sporting goods store which offered “outdoor sports training” and tried out some kayaks. Herb and I thought it was great fun. Satan decided she didn’t like to get wet. Or leave the house without showering and putting on a full face of make up. And doing her hair. She also didn’t like to sweat. So instead, we continued on with the same old thing – they would leave their house on weekends at around 2, after Satan had vacuumed (again), done at least 2 loads of laundry, had 1/2 pot of coffee, cleaned the stove, and gotten ready. Then they would swing by to pick me up, do Satan’s errands which she couldn’t seem to do during the week, and then go somewhere so Satan could drink we could eat.
I’m fully aware that I could have opted to do something else, but I like hanging out with Herb. And I like to go out to lunch on occasion too. But I was getting tired of always having to plan everything around alcohol. Drinking is also all well and good, but jeepers, can we do something else??
The last winter that Satan was around, I said that I thought it would be cool if we got snow shoes and got out and did something in the fresh air. Herb seemed into it, but Satan doesn’t like to be cold. *sigh*
Flash forward to this summer. Satan is gone. Herb is now with a lovely person. Let’s call her….Spice. (Get it? Herb and spice? No? hmmm…) Anyhoo, Spice has to work every other weekend. So Herb has some free time. He also got a bonus over the summer and invested in….. drum roll…. KAYAKS!! WOOT!!!
The first time we went this summer, we went to a little pond. We were both a little wobbly and tippy, but quickly got the hang of it, to some degree. Neither of us could paddle straight – or float straight for that matter! Being the lazy person that I am, my shoulders and arms were toast, very quickly. Then we went the next day, to a bigger pond. Still ridiculously sore, and uncoordinated, but we both realized that THIS was the way to spend sunny summer days. NOT sitting inside cleaning or running errands.
We’ve been a handful of times since that first weekend. Herb spends every other weekend with Spice. (still nothing? huh…). Each time, we get better and more confident and have tried larger ponds and lakes.
This past weekend? We decided to try THE BIG ONE! The lake everyone boats on. The lake our water supply comes from. The lake with more boats, jet skis, canoes and kayaks that we’d ever seen. On the busiest weekend of the summer. Yeah. Good thinking. *eye roll*
So we head out early. It’s a gorgeous sunny day. We have lunch and water and beer and lots and lots of sunscreen. We get there, put the kayaks in the water and set off. So far so good. “Hey cool, we should paddle around those islands!” “yeah, let’s do it on the way back” “k”.
It’s a bit rougher out there than we’ve seen, but nothing we can’t handle. We paddle up one side of the lake, looking at the ducks and trees and camps. We went for about an hour and a half. Then we stopped at a sand bar, where there were a lot of people sunning themselves or bringing in their boats to stop for lunch. We swam for a while, had lunch and rested.
Then we get back in to go further. Onward we go up further into the lake. There are a LOT of boats now and the wake is getting higher. But we pressed on. We traveled that way for about another hour-ish, then turned back. By this point, the waves were practically white-caps due to the number of boats going by. We were both exhausted, but kept going. We even went by a whole flock of tufted ducks. They looked almost like loons, but they were brown with tufts of feathers off the back of the head. 
This is the closest picture I can find. But the real ones were way prettier.
Almost back, we decide Hey! Let’s go across to the island! Yeah. From where we were, to get to the island, we had to go across “open” water, across the boat lane, across the jet ski lane. No protection of the shallower water. No protection of the shore. And off we went. For about 30 minutes we paddled. Hard. I lost feeling in my hands from gripping the oar. We both decided our shoulders were burning. Finally!! We made it. Um. Yeah. That was fun. Kinda. NOT.
The waves from the boats were pushing my boat into the shore and I almost got washed up onto the rocks. But halfway around the island, we discovered such calm water that we floated for a while then. We made our way back towards the car. We had to wait at the bridge for 5 or 6 boats to go under first, then we went under and back to the car. We were out for about 4 and a half hours. Whew!
Long day. But the weather was perfect. The exercise was great. The water was warm. We had a lot of fun. I did feel badly that after all of that, Herb had to drive down to Spice’s house for the evening. Spice lives about an hour +/- away. UGH. I was toast. I don’t know how he made it.
But the best part? After that adventure, we decided that we would be able to make it out to one of the coastal islands next summer. Ocean! There is a lovely restaurant out there that we could have lunch at. FUN!
Oh, and if you are wondering why Herb doesn’t go kayaking with Spice? It’s because she is not a strong swimmer and is a little bit afraid of it. I still think she would be fine and have a blast, but Herb doesn’t want to push her. She would have probably died out on THE BIG ONE with us, but the smaller ones would have been great for her.
So there you go. My new favorite thing to do. Kayak. If you have been kayaking before, you know. If you haven’t, and you have the opportunity, GO! You don’t really need to be a strong swimmer if you stay on the lakes and wear a life vest. (I consider myself a strong swimmer and still wear one, because you just never know what could happen.) Try it. You may find yourself with a new favorite thing to do, too.
Oh, hello! Have some tea. And sugar cookies.
I think it would be an affront to feet everywhere if I said what I have are feet. Or soles of my feet. No, I think it’s safe to qualify what I have as hooves.
These? are my feet. I’ll wait while you go hurl…
Back when I pretended to have money, I would get myself a pedicure every 2 weeks. It kept them soft and pretty. Then, when I realized that I really didn’t have money, that stopped. I bought the Ped-egg to scrape down the worst parts and, while I do like it, if you don’t do it very consistently, the hoof-ness can get away from you. Add to that that I prefer Dansko clogs (mostly due to my foot issues – I would love to wear hot sexy heels all the time. Alas, tooties aren’t cooperating). These shoes are unbelieveably comfortable, but they are conducive to calluses. I even bought something called “Crack Creme” but mostly due to the fact that the name made me giggle.
Tonight, I broke out the big guns. Bag Balm. And socks. I don’t know if it will work, but I’m desperate. If anyone has any other suggestions, I’m willing to give them a try!
Oh, hello! Have a mini-cupcake. They’re fresh.
What has happened to customer service? Back in the day, store employees would actually say “Thank you” or “Thank you for shopping here”. At the very least, they might make small talk with the customer, ask about their day. Dealing with service people by phone used to be less of a chore. They would attempt to resolve your issue, without putting you on hold 5 times, all while speaking clearly.
I stopped at the grocery store on the way home this evening. I picked up a rotisserie chicken (LOVE those!!), some fruit, bread, and frozen veggies. At the checkout, I was not greeted by the cashier. I was not acknowledged. I was given the total. And then…. she packed the groceries. Bag #1: fruit ON the bread. Bag #2: frozen veggies with the HOT FROM THE OVEN chicken. Yes. She put the hot stuff and the cold stuff in the same bag. That takes stupid to a whole new level. What the heck is wrong with people? In what universe would that ever be considered appropriate? Or sane?
Then before I left, I didn’t get the “Thank you for shopping here” or “Have a nice day” or even the ever-irritating “Have a good one”. No, no. Insult added to injury, after she started the melting of the veggies, she was talking to another cashier about her weekend. Um, really? Who raised you? How does one learn to be that rude? And how does one go about NOT acquiring common sense.
Listen, you are in a SERVICE POSITION. This means you DEAL WITH PEOPLE. If you don’t like to do that, great. Go find a job where you don’t have to interact with customers. I did it. The Slurpee manager doesn’t actually have to deal with customers. And trust me, we’re all happier for it. The Chip-Bag Fluffer? He has to deal with customers. He’s good at it, and likes to do it. Good for him. The point is this. If you work with the public, be polite. Have a smile on your face. Pretend to like your job. That’s what you get paid to do. IT’S YOUR JOB. Each interaction takes less than 5 minutes, usually. Suck it up.
And for Goat’s sake, DON’T PACK HOT FROM THE OVEN CHICKEN IN THE SAME BAG AS THE FROZEN STUFF. ASSHAT.
Oh, hello! We’re having Mediterranean Veggie Sammies today – with cilantro hummus. Have one.
Do you wish? Not just on birthday candles, or about big things. I mean about anything. Do you ever find yourself saying “I wish I could…”?
Reading the lovely Jose’s blog (found at http://www.fabergemonkey.com/) I found myself thinking, “I wish I could write poetry. It doesn’t even have to be lovely poetry.” I’ve said in the past: I wish I could…
- speak French
- run without my knees hurting
- lose 5-, 10-, 25-, 50-pounds
- live in Paris
- save money
- blah blah blah
I guess the real thing I have to ask myself is “Why can’t I…” I’ll tell you why. I can’t because I think I can’t. I bet if I changed it to “I am going to…”, that after a few false starts, I would be doing whatever it is I put my mind to.
I wish it were Friday. I wish it were sunny. I wish I had a better/different/easier/more challenging job. I wish I had bought that bag/shirt/wallet/perfume. I wish it were 5pm. I wish I could drink/stop drinking/smoke/stop smoking.
Does any of that sound like you? What are we waiting for? Why are we wishing our lives away?
On the other hand, does wishing give you hope? Is it a form of prayer? Does it give you something to look forward to? Or does it deny hope by reminding you of what you don’t have? What you lack? What you only think you want – regardless if it is really the best thing for you?
Do you wish?
Oh, hello! Have some beef stew!
So, I had a recent visitor to this little adventure who didn’t seem to like what I had to say. I was asked “what brought this on”. I responded “It’s my blog and I felt like it.” Well, this person saw that and thought my response was too sharp. I did thank the person for her opinion. I really have no issue with anyone disagreeing with me. But don’t be all snotty about it.
****
I went back to work today after 2 weeks off. My post-vacation glow lasted all day. I haven’t taken a 2 week vacation in a long time. I’m thinking that next year? I’m going to do it twice. A one week vacation is all about decompressing and getting rid of the work ick. Long about Friday, you are feeling pretty good, but you know you have to go back to work on Monday. Tack on a second week and that is all cake. You all but forget there is a job to go to. FAB-U-LOUS!!! If you have the time and ability to take 2 weeks together, I highly recommend it.
****
Last night, Herb took me out for pizza at my favorite place. He was supposed to meet his girlfriend, so I was second choice, but I don’t care. It was still deeeeeeeeeeeelish! Steak and onions and mushrooms (my half) and green peppers (his half) and garlic on a beer crust. YUM! And there was enough left to bring home for dinner tonight too! SQUEE!
****
I got notice today that my mortgage has been sold. This? Is a HUGE pain in my arse! I have the payment automatically drafted and now I have to change that, and I think there was already half a payment drafted this month. I have to track that down and find out if it can be recovered and sent to the new place. Oy. What a nightmare. I can totally envision this becoming a full time job to get straightened out.
****
Okay. I think I’ve blathered on about nothing enough. More tomorrow. Hopefully.
Oh, hello! Chips and salsa, with guacamole? Help yourself.
**DISCLAIMER: This is only my opinion. Don’t sue me.***
I used to be a huge fan of Oprah. I was one of her sheep. I saw the show where she first revealed her big weight-loss. Remember that wagon full of fat? I followed along with her book club. I read her choices religiously. But I stopped… my goat, those books were SO depressing!!
Then she came out with her magazine. The magazine where she herself is on the cover, EVERY FRIGGIN MONTH! The magazine where she forgot her poor roots and now continually advertises $1,000 watches, and $500 blankets, all as things that her faithful flock “need” to have.
Then she “gave” everyone in her audience a car. She didn’t pay for them. And these people all had to pay the taxes etc on the cars. Some gift.
And finally, there was her on-air character assassination of James Frey. Yes, his book was published as a memoir, and contained fictional parts. But, if that book helped even ONE person turn their life around, then really. Who cares? It was an interesting story, and he deserved good publicity. He did NOT deserve to be humiliated on national television.
Bottom line? In my opinion, Ms. Winfrey does not do anything that doesn’t benefit her in some way. She also doesn’t do anything without making sure the entire world knows about it. Nothing she does is altruistic or selfless. She has lost sight of her roots, her humble beginnings, where she started. I truly admire what she has been able to accomplish – she is one of the most famous people in the world. And I get why people love her. Sort of.
But there is more to life than money. There is more to life than paying people to like you. More and more of her shows are about the famous, the rich. Her famous friends. The famous doctors. It’s not about who she can help anymore. It’s about her. And only her. She doesn’t deserve the adulation. She doesn’t deserve the worship. And, in my opinion, it’s disgusting.
Oh, hello. Cocktails this afternoon. Martinis, I think.
Before I start ranting about hair dye, how is it that Maggie’s fur is soooo much softer than Seamus’s? I wonder if she uses a different conditioner. I must research that I think.
Usually, if I need to get my hair done, I head down town to the Salon of Awesomeness. This place is a little oasis of heaven, right in the middle of the city. Everything is shiny and white and smiley and pretty. All the stylists are shiny and smiley and pretty. No one person handles more than one job. (I know!) So I get to see Ashley for my color, and Hannah for my style. There are assistants who bring you wine or coffee or water or snacks. Yes, wine. Even early in the morning! Seriously. Salon of Awesomeness.
However, as of late, my checking account has not been accommodating my need for Salon time. *sob* Finally, I broke down and bought a box of root-touch-up goop. The box said, and I may be paraphrasing here, “Guaranteed to match any color, no matter what brand!” It said it on the box, so it must be true, right? *snort*
I mix up the goop, brush it on to the 1 inch roots/gray, and am supposed to wait 10 minutes. I may or may not have gotten distracted by something shiny, and remembered the goop burning my skull 20 minutes (or so) later. So, yeah, it’s way darker than I anticipated, but the gray is gone. (Most likely due to them being burned from my head) (not really. I’m exaggerating) (sorta).
I used to be really good at self-dying. I would go to the beauty supply store and become my own little chemist. Mix a little of the white stuff with a little of the color stuff, shake, and you’re good to go. Although, there was the one time, years ago, when I dyed my hair 3 times in one weekend. I didn’t like the color it turned out, so I kept doing it over. FYI: so NOT a good idea. I’m sure I have mentioned before that I have very curly hair. After that, um, display of genius, my hair was toast. And straight. For a long time. Until it completely grew out again. So not pretty. *sigh* The things we do in the name of vanity.
I’m hoping that I will be able to visit the Salon of Awesomeness again next month. I miss Ashley and Hannah. I miss the shiny, smiley prettiness. I miss the free HUGE glass of wine.
Oh, hello! Have some buttered popcorn!
I went to a movie tonight. K2Kid and I went to see Julie & Julia. We were both a little skeptical about it, because we don’t have the best track record when it comes to picking movies. We saw “The Women” when it came out. I think the theory was that it would be a good “strong independent woman” movie. Two words: SUH-UCKED!! It was awful. Then we saw Mamma-Mia. Even the ticket guy said, “it’s not a good movie”. But we went into it with no expectations, and it was fun. I mean, how good can a 2 hour Abba video really be? It was fun, until Pierce Brosnan tried to “sing”. *shakes head sadly*
Anyhoo. Julie and Julia. LOVE LOVE LOVE Meryl Streep. LOVE even more Stanley Tucci. Not a fan of Amy Adams. We were thinking that we would tolerate the Julie scenes and really hope for more scenes of Julia. It was that way to a point, but the Julie scenes weren’t as painful as we thought. I haven’t seen Chris Messina, the guy who played her husband, before. I liked him. He was good.
Meryl Streep rocked it, as usual. She’s so good. (Plus she got to wear kick-ass shoes!!) And she and Stanley Tucci, as her husband, are so cute together. He needs to do more.
So, the down part of the evening? Some chick sat directly behind me, and kicked my chair THE ENTIRE TIME!!! Excuse me, are you 5?? Between that and the cackling, it was very distracting. I finally moved seats. She just crossed her legs and kept right on kicking. OH. MAH. GAH. Don’t make me punch you in the throat.
So, the point? This is a movie based on 2 true stories (that’s what the credits said, anyway) and Julie has a book out about he experience. I’ve picked up the book, thought about buying it, and couldn’t do it. It just sounded boring. K2Kid did buy it. She said she made it through 3 pages, and yes, it really is boring. How did this woman get a book deal? I’ve read other blogs with writers who deserve a book. I deserve a book. I don’t know what she had to go through to get published, but mayb
Oh, hello. Come on in and help yourself to some pizza! It’s still warm.
I am a geek. I admit it. I’m the stereotypical bookworm who has too many books. I love books. I love reading. (Jeez! could I say “I” more frequently??)
Anyhoo. The problem with too many books? Sometimes you end up with duplicates. That? is way annoying. So one of the apps on my iPhone is a spreadsheet on which I have a list of every book, both on my Kindle and on my bookshelves, I own. Also, I keep a list of the books I have read. Is that a little OCD? I can’t tell. It has helped with the whole purchase of dupicates, though. So I guess it’s a win.
Geeks Rule!
Oh, hello! Pull up a chair and help yourself to some fresh cut pineapple.
I spent today with my mother. She wanted to go to one of the local discount stores for material. She makes the most gorgeous quilts, and she had a new pattern to get material for. I was her designated chauffeur. Then we were going to lunch and the yarn store, because she also knits like a pro.
My mother drives me crazy. True, unadulterated, bat-shit crazy. At the same time, I really do consider her one of my heroes. Also, since she is now “of a certain age”, I know that the time we have together is growing more limited. Spending big blocks of time of her is a wonderful test of my patience and a way to calm down my ADD. I need to remember that she’s not as young as she was – she doesn’t move as quickly; she doesn’t make decisions as quickly; she needs more attention.
Part of Mum’s challenge is that she was recently sick. I won’t go into the details, because they aren’t mine to tell, but as well as she’s doing, she is still not feeling “right”. I’m worried about her; and I know she is worried about it, but won’t say anything because she doesn’t want to be a burden.
Mum came over here to the states in the early 60s. That’s huge. I have great admiration for anyone who leaves their comfort zone – be it their job, their state, their country! – to take on a whole new challenge. A new culture. My mom did that. Hero reason #1.
Growing up, we didn’t have a lot of money. We weren’t poor, but we didn’t have “extra”. I only figured this out after the fact. I can’t speak for my brother Herb, or The Sister, but I never was aware that our family had any money issues. We never had all the big name brand stuff, but that was okay. I love that both my parents worked so hard and made us feel loved. Hero reason #2.
My mother is one of the most generous people I know. She is willing to do most anything for anyone at any time. There are times when she goes overboard – food related times mostly – but it’s all done with the best intentions. She is loving and caring. Hero reason #3.
On the downside, Mum can talk. Good gravy, Mabel. She can talk a cat off a tuna wagon. For real. The 5 hours we spent together today – she probably spent 3 1/2 of it talking. I hardly got a word in. And if I did try to relay some story, she interrupted and took the tale off in some random direction. For this reason, I need to get into the right frame of mind before I spend a lot of time with her. I don’t want to get irritated with her or mad at her for something so silly. Who knows – in another few years, I could end up longing for one of these days together. I hope it’s longer than a few though.
So that’s Mum. My hero. I love her. And she is a big reason why I am the person I am. I hope she’s around for a long time yet. If I’m lucky, she will be.
MagAndMoo's Blog 