Oh, hello! Come on in. Have a Guinness. A truly magical drink.
Last night, there was a debate on Twitter about the pros and cons of carrot cake. *gag* There are some who think carrot cake with it’s cloying cream cheese frosting is wonderful. There are others, like me, who think carrots and cake should not mix. “It’s all in how it’s made.” “It’s just gross.” And on and on.
This got me to thinking about my food issues. For the most part, I am a pretty adventurous eater. I’ll try something new, knowing that if I don’t care for it, I never have to eat it again. Based on that theory, I’ve tried alligator. It wasn’t bad, until I started thinking about it, and then the gag factor kicked in and I was done. I might try it again, but it’s not something that I have to go in search of.
I really like calamari. But I can only eat the rings; the tentacle bits sqweeve me out. I can’t even try it. But now sushi? LOVE it. If it wasn’t so expensive, I would eat sushi every day. Tuna, salmon, crab, eel. LOVE it.
I have two really big food issues: wet cake and bananas. *shudder*
Wet cake: tiramisu, birthday cake with ice cream on it, strawberry short cake. (seriously. *shudder*) I am pretty sure it’s a texture issue. But, ugh. I just cannot eat it. Apple sauce has a similar texture. Yick. It’s mushy and just gross. And yet, french onion soup? LOVE it. That has wet bread in it, and that doesn’t gross me out. Someone once said that it’s the cold that that makes it icky for me. Maybe so, but I don’t think I will be changing my mind anytime soon.
Bananas: there is about a 20 minute window of opportunity on bananas. Within that 20 minutes, it reaches perfect ripeness, perfect color and texture. Outside of that window, all bets are off, and it goes in the trash. The perfect banana has just stopped being green, there will be no brown spots, and it will be firm to the bite. I cannot buy bananas in a bunch. By the time I would get to it, the window of goodness would have shut. Once the banana has brown spots, it starts to get a little gushy inside, WAY too sweet, and gets that sweet banana-y stink to it. And the banana peel? That has to go in the trash in another room. The stink makes me gag.
BTDub, my brother Herb? He’ll wait to eat a banana until right before the fruit flies come out. Banana bread worthy. (I just threw up in my mouth a little). I could probably give my “old” bananas to Herb, but since I only eat bananas rarely (because I know they are good for me) and only buy them one at a time, I rarely have “old” bananas.
Now, the white-trash things that most people don’t admit to eating.
- Funyuns? Love them. They are gross, and yet yummy. Except for the fact that they rip the sh*t out of the roof of your mouth, so good!
- Vienna sausages. Admittedly, I haven’t had them for a very long time, but I used to like them. Herb and I wonder if they could be grilled. And what would happen to that weird gelatinous goo that they are packed in.
- Cheese fries. These are actually probably not white trash, but cheese fries KICK ASS!!! But the cheese has to be of the melted cheez-whiz variety for them to be really yummy. The refined shredded cheese type – while good – do not cheese fries make.
- Canned corned beef. Again – gross, yet yummy. Again, surrounded by a weird gelatinous goo.
- Cheez-whiz. So good on saltines, rice cakes, nachos, a spoon *heh*
- Ramen noodles. You can buy about 20 for a dollar, and really? Not very good in the grand scheme of things, but there is a peanut sauce in the international aisle that’s good, and if you add a little chicken and ditch the uber-sodiumized “flavoring” and it’ll do in a pinch.
I’m sure there are other white trash things that I like and other food issues I have, but I think that’s enough for now.
Okay, who wants a snack?? *snort*
Oh hello! We’re offering homemade chocolate chip cookies tonight. Have one. They’re still warm. 🙂
So random thoughts today… (*updated to tell you to stop reading. I’m boring today. Really.)
It’s Dad’s berfday today. I suck and forgot to send him a card. Rotten rotten rotten daughter!! I did call this morning but he was out, so after my last meeting today, I left early, bought him a cupcake and went to their house to hang for a while. I get there, ring the doorbell… nothing. The car is there. I know they are home. *sigh*
Walk back to the car, dig out the key to their house, let myself in, knock on the inside door… nothing. Fine. I go in, the house is quiet, the bedroom doors are closed. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (picture Snoopy from the Halloween episode. hee) Cupcake into the fridge, note saying Happy Birthday, and I head home to sprawl in front of the a/c.
They called. Mum said he was very happy with the cupcake. So that’s good. Mission accomplished.
**************
So, at the beginning of this month, I gave up coffee. 29 days in and I am still doing well without it. GO ME!!! I think I started drinking it again the last time I gave it up because I still drank decaf. This time, nothing. I’m doing okay. I know I’m definitely sleeping better – you know that heavy sleep where, when the alarm goes off, you have to sort of swim back to awakeness? (Shut up. It is too a word.) So I’ll keep up with that, and once the humidity breaks, I can start back up with tea.
**************
I have curly hair. I’m the only one in the immediate family with it. And contrary to popular sentiment, I love my curls. The sister has thin, stick straight hair. She used to get perms. It didn’t go well. Did you ever notice that on makeover shows almost always straighten the hair of their curly haired “victims”. Why is that?? Curly hair is awesome. Granted, there are people who are blessed with the curl who don’t know the correct use of goop. Hair goop is critical for good curls. And if having curly hair is so bad, why do people get perms? HA! We win.
I’ve had really short hair and really long hair and have rocked both looks. Currently it’s short-ish. The only reason I ever feel like I might like straight hair is that there are some beautiful short hair styles that I can never have. Remember the blond chick on the first Melrose Place? I loved her hair. But, given a choice, I’ll keep the curls.
**************
My friend, the K2Kid, and I started a list last year of things we wanted to do for ourselves. You know, as a way to improve our lives. We had committed to start something new every month. It could be anything – going to the gym regularly; read more; eat better; not use credit cards. That type of thing. We had a name for it, the SHIT list, where the SHIT stood for something, but for the life of me I couldn’t tell you what it was.
Anyhoo, that fell by the wayside for a while once we both got busy at work. But, we have decided to start it up again, beginning August 1. This time though, we’re going to do whatever it is we choose for 2 months at a time. Better chance that it will “stick”. Since I have already given up coffee, and shredded my credit cards, I think I am going to eliminate sweets from my diet. I’ve done that before – for about 2 1/2 years. And then I slipped back into my sugar addiction.
It’s horrible to be addicted. My addiction, however, is not alcohol or drugs. It’s sugar. If I start eating it, I can’t stop. Even as I am recognizing the horror that is my gluttony, I still sit there and eat it. It gives me headaches. Every day. Literally. I have a headache every single day. (I mock people who call in with a headache. Tuck your skirt in, take an aspirin, and get in here. I’m not interested in picking up the slack of your lazy ass.) (Migraines are a different story. Those suck and the sufferer should stay home.)
So here comes August 1 and I am going to try again. At least all of August and September, hopefully longer. Wish me luck.
***************
Have I mentioned that I am on vacation soon? 7 more business days and then I am off FOR 2 WEEKS, BITCHES!!!!! I cannot wait. I probably will stick close to home, but honestly? Any day not at work is a vacation. I really want to walk everyday. And do a big cleanout of the closets and cellar. I was reading a book about getting rid of clutter, and the author wrote something I have really been trying to live by: If it’s not an ABSOLUTE yes, it’s a no. Meaning if it is not something that you love, enhances your life, or makes you feel fabulous in some way, it’s a no and you need to get rid of it. I have tried to do that lately. For example, I LOVE purses. Love them. I’m always looking for a new one. (Although, when I found the most recent bargain at Cole Hahn – a $400 for $59 – yeah you read it right! – I’ve stuck with that one for a while and it’s been good). But anyway. Since I read that quote, I have gotten rid of all but I think 4 purses. One I use every day; a winter one for every day; a weekend one; and one to cart in contraband to hockey games. Not bad.
Okay, you know what? I’ve blathered on long enough that I’ve lost my point and I’m boring myself! This post is crap. Sorry to have wasted your time. Have another cookie.
*goes to research something interesting to say*
Oh, hello! Would you like some water? And how’s about a Klondike bar? (you just sang the song, didn’t you? *heh*)
I? am a hypocrite. I think I’ve known this for a while, but I’m just now allowing myself to acknowledge it. Oy! This inner growth stuff is exhausting! How am I a hypocrite, you ask?
So, you’ve probably seen those talk shows with the overly dramatically “interested” host who is grilling the guest in an attempt to make them cry. “What happened to you?” “Why are you doing this self-destructive behavior?” “Blah blah blah”. All the while feigning interest. And then the guest, sniveling in the corner of the squashy sofa, sobbing and says, “I had a hard childhood!” “My mother was mean to me!” “People were mean to me when I was in school!” “Blah blah some other lame-ass excuse that deflects all manner of responsibility!”
And then there is me at home, on my sofa, very likely with a sapphire and tonic, yelling at the television, “You whiny pathetic loser!!” “Take some responsibility for yourself and your actions.” “The past is over! Leave it there and move the fuck on!” “Blah blah blah you can’t change what happened so focus on you and your future and be fabulous with what you have now because whatever happened then made you who you are now, you cow!” (Yes, my rants are long winded and blathering. It works for me.)
So what does all this mean in terms of me being a hypocrite? When the hell am I going to get to the point? Hopefully, soon.
Recently, the realization slapped me in the face that I am that sniveling whiny talk show guest. I have been the one who has said that what happened to me in my teens led to what occurred in my twenties and that is why my thirties were the way they were and why I am at the place I am now. Well, guess what, Kitten? Remember the rant at the television? No? Here it is again: “Blah blah blah you can’t change what happened so focus on you and your future and be fabulous with what you have now because whatever happened then made you who you are now, you cow!” (I can be very harsh…)
I am over-weight because I made myself that way. Not my past. I did it. It’s time that I own that and move forward from this point. Being good to myself, as good to myself as I am to others, needs to be a priority. I have wallowed in my past for far too long. It’s boring. I’m sick of it.
It’s not going to happen overnight. I’ll have relapses. And that’s okay. It’s to be expected. But practice makes perfect, right? (Goat, maybe a few more cliches could be used here. *huge eye roll*). Baby steps towards total fabulousness is my new goal. Wish me luck and expect some meltdowns. But all the while, know that I’m getting there.
Oh, hello. Iced tea and ‘Nilla Wafers?
What’s on your television? There is so much good stuff on in the summers now! Love that! Of course most of it is not on the regular networks.
Burn Notice – HOT Jeffrey Donovan stars. HOT Gabrielle Anwar costars. HOT Bruce Campbell costars. Its a crime show, it’s part comedy, it’s exciting. Jeffrey Donovan is Michael Westen – a spy who got burned (fired) and makes a living helping out people using all his spy knowledge and stuff. More time needs to be spent with the camera on Mr. Donovan shirtless, but other than that. Gabrielle Anwar is Fiona – she is Michael’s ex and is hot and bad ass. She totally needs to eat a cheeseburger, but I totally have a girl-crush on her anyway. Bruce Campbell is Sam – Michael’s older spy buddy. He is v v handsome. And adds the much needed wit. Also, Sharon Gless (yes, that one! From Cagney and Lacey) is Michael’s mother. She can be a touch annoying, but also adds wit. If you aren’t watching Burn Notice, you are missing out.
The Closer – Kyra Sedgwick (Mrs. Kevin Bacon) stars as the police chief in LA. Her staff handles major crimes. Her team is experienced, quirky, funny, and fun to watch. Ms. Sedgwick is also bad ass and gives women a great role model.
In Plain Sight – well, here is yet another show with a strong, smart woman to emulate. Mary and Marshall are Inspectors with the Witness Protection Program. They help people relocate to Albequerque. There are minor characters that help round out the cast and the whole team is fun to watch.
Psych – James Roday and Dule’ Hill star as Shawn and Gus. Shawn has “psychic” ability – which is actually just acute observational skills, and Gus is his BFF and together they help the Santa Barbara police department solve crimes. Shawn is the comedian and Gus is the “straight” man, but they are funny. Also, there is a pineapple hidden in every episode. That alone is reason to watch.
Castle – I LOVE THIS SHOW!!! There are repeats on this summer, and they are just as good the second time around. And to think, ABC considered cancelling this show. *hard head slap for ABC execs*. Nathan Fillion, who is smokin’ hot, is Richard Castle, a crime novelist who is shadowing the lovely Stana Katic, a police detective, so that he can get stories for his next novel. If you have ever seen Nathan Fillion in anything, you know that he has a very wry wit, great facial expressions, and he’s pretty to look at. He is fantastic in this show. I’ll keep watching the repeats until the show comes back on in September.
I also still watch L&O CI – I’m really liking Jeff Goldblum in this show. I used to think he was quirky looking, but day-ummmm! He has aged VERY well. As much as I love Vincent D’Onofrio, Mr. Goldblum is quickly becoming my new favorite. (Sorry Debra!)
I’ve given Hawthorne a chance, but it’s not holding my attention, I think. Jada Pinkett Smith is a nurse who runs everything, but she seems to be everywhere in the hospital, all up in everyone’s business, and never gets tired. Now, maybe the hospital is tiny and that can be realistic, but…. eh. I’m not buying it.
I’ve also given Royal Pains a chance, mostly because I think Mark Feurstein is such a cutie. Normally, I don’t like characters like the brother, but for some reason, I find the brother amusing. It’s a good show, I guess, but again, it’s about a doctor who can cure everything and is exactly where he needs to be at the exact right time. Unrealistic, but not rocket science.
I guess that’s it. It might seem that that is alot of shows to watch, but the DVR is a wonderful thing. 60 minute program in about 43. Record everything and watch it later.
If you are wondering what to watch, try one of these. You’ll be amused for an hour.
Oh, hello! I think a wee dram of port is in order tonight.
Facebook? My Space? Twitter? Instant messaging? Is this really the way of the world? I joined MySpace about 2 years ago as a lark. I heard it was all the rage. Um, yeah, if you are a horny high school kid! I think I lasted about 6 months on that and then deleted my account because I felt so icky.
Next came Facebook. I joined that about a year ago. It seems to be a little better. I was able to connect with some people from high school. Although, now that I think of it, if I wanted to still be friends with the people I went to high school with, I probably would be. I have a feeling that most of them would probably feel the same way. I can see what people I work with are doing. But, again, do I really want to do that, either? I used FB quite regularly for a while, but then got bored with it. I know there are games that people love – bejeweled and mafia wars. One coworker has set up a bot at his house that keeps playing for him while he is at work. Really? Yikes. Now, I check in maybe once a week.
Twitter is one of the most addictive time sucks I have every come across. I joined Twitter in February of this year just to see what it was about. Like this blog, I started out slow. Then I got a few followers who seemed cool and now I’m addicted. I have “met” a whole community of people who are very similar to me. Whereas I often feel out of place around my job or family due to my snark and dry sense of humor, these folks take me as I am, and love me for it. One blessed, kind, sweet sole – who I won’t name our of respect for her privacy – has even offered to help me out of a recent financial situation. We have NEVER EVEN MET but she trusts me enough to be so selfless and generous. I declined her offer, but only because I find it so difficult to ask for and receive help. (That is a whole other blog post!)
Anyhoo. These three applications are called social media. But how, exactly, is this social? Sitting at a computer, chatting with people who may or may not be who they say they are. I don’t even have my real picture on Twitter. Or here. (That’s mostly because I HATE HATE HATE having my picture taken. I can fool myself in the mirror into thinking that I’m not as heavy as I am, but the camera doesn’t lie.) Honestly, I do try to be as much myself as possible, but I can’t say that about everyone.
I don’t know what the point of all this is. I guess that while I don’t quite get the “social” part of this, I am glad that I have the followers I have on Twitter. I believe them to be kind, real, friendly, and very supportive. I don’t believe there is any hidden agenda with any of the people I follow. It’s relaxing to me to be able to be myself. To be able to let my guard down because keeping it up all the time? EXHAUSTING!!
Oh, hello! Vinho verde is this evening’s choice. Would you like some?
Dr. Wayne Dyer has a wonderful book out called Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life. In it, he discusses he analysis of the Tao. I’ve read some of his other books and watched his lectures on PBS. He is an eloquent speaker, and is clearly passionate about his beliefs and research, and I respect him for that.
But, my question is: HOW THE HELL DO YOU CHANGE YOUR THOUGHTS WHEN EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE SUCKS RIGHT NOW??
I know, think positive and positive things will happen. Um, yeah, that works for about 37 seconds when you feel like I do right now, and then all the suck comes flooding back in. Positive, sucking, positive, sucking, positively sucking. It’s exhausting.
I am SICK TO DEATH of feeling worried and stressed and blue and unsettled and like it’s all hanging by a thread. And I don’t know how to stop it.
Oh, hello! Club soda with pom wonderful? Coming right up!
The twins have a very tough life. Really. It must be exhausting to be them.
Maggie want to go on a trip. But first….
…she wants to get her nails done. Then that is so exhausting…
…she has to curl into a micro-dot for a nap. Not to be outdone…
…Seamus wants to help me with the laundry as a way to make up for…
…needing to sleep off his hangover from the night before.
And of course, this is when they were getting along, napping together, and Mummy wouldn’t stop with the pictures. Maggie finally had to look back and ask me to stop. Seamus is looking very impressed, as well. *snort*
Oh, hello! Sapphire and tonic? With lime, of course.
I’m pretty sure there is no one on earth who hates house work more than I do. Well, except for those people on “Clean House” because that’s just gross. And okay, my neighbor, in the asbestos shingled, field for a lawn, use broken down minivans for storage (because that’s his “business” – selling cr@p at flea markets). And, okay, people who live like Deliverance folks.
Okay, whatever. Don’t get me off track. I get it. There ARE people who hate housework more than I. The point is that I hate it. HATE! I would love to hire someone to do it for me, but my house is so small that even I would feel guilty.
I think my family doesn’t like to come visit for very long because of my housekeeping skills. I mean, I don’t have rats or big giant bugs or anything. I did have ants, but only because I forgot to get the ant killer for the outside – and because the twins like to play in the garage, and I have to leave the door open so they can come in. But, my brother, Herb, even likes to say that I vacuum once a month, whether I need to or not. (So not true, but you get the point.)
Once year, Herb and his ex, Satan, were so sick of my dishes in the sink that they, along with my parents, bought me a dishwasher, and built an island for my kitchen to house said dishwasher and presented it to me for Christmas. (I cried. Don’t judge me.) (Related: I can never move now, because I love the island and the dishwasher, and I don’t want to leave it behind.)
I have gotten better though. I think I have the twins to thank for that too. Them and their black fur and their epic shedding abilities. It really is impressive how much they shed for such little bitty things. Alas, their fur is black (and white) and my carpets are beige, so frequent vacuuming is in order. The kitchen stays mostly clean. I think I have finally reached the responsible adult age that hits most people in their mid-twenties. Maybe I am just developmentally challenged.
OR, I am just lazy. I vote for the latter. I’m not going to win any awards, but I know I also won’t ever make it on to “Clean House”. And I’m more than okay with that.
Oh, hello! I have some lovely Raspberry Sangria Tea. Would you care for a cup?
What I learned on my summer vacation:
1. Seamus and Maggie like to sleep. ALOT!
2. Seamus and Maggie like to sleep ON ME.
3. I rather like the way I write.
4. I judge people too harshly at times.
5. Given the need, I can pull together a pretty good meal.
6. I really am one of the laziest people on the planet.
7. It’s time to take some bricks down from this wall I live behind.
8. I can live without coffee.
9. I wasn’t dreading the first day back at work as much as I thought I would.
10. Any day not at work is a good day.
Bring on my next vacation!! 5 weeks from now….
MagAndMoo's Blog 