Or as your friends know you: “Target”,
It’s over. We’re through. I cannot do this anymore. It’s time we go our separate ways. We are breaking up.
Don’t tell me you are surprised. You had to have seen this coming. Over the 14 or so years we were together, you continued to get bigger and more influential. I relied on you.
You, Target, were my happy place. If I had a bad day at work, I knew I could visit and wander your halls and somehow, you would lead me to that certain something that made me feel better. I don’t know if it was your bright lights or the clear hallways or the bright red symbol, but you comforted me when I needed you.
Remember when I was in graduate school? I would visit you for a highlighter, and come out with $150 of stuff I *had* to have. You did that for me. You were there for me. You comforted me.
But then? Gradually, you started to change. It was just the small things at first. Your parking lot was full. Or the size I needed was not available. Or the items offered in my size were dated and unstylish. I ignored the fact that you stuffed “my” section in, between maternity and the fitting rooms, all the way in the back as if you were ashamed of how I looked. As if I were to be hidden away.
Then it was bigger things – you decided to contribute to political campaigns that went against everything I believed in. I *still* defended you. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs, right? I didn’t like it, but you were still my happy place.
But this weekend? This weekend was the last straw. The camel’s back is broken. This weekend convinced me that I need to make a clean break with you.
I can accept that you want to remodel. I can! I encourage it, in fact. Brighter lights! YES! Shinier stuff! ABSOLUTELY!
And then I walked in.
Your shelves are now lined with higher priced items. Items that, in my opinion, don’t warrant the higher price tag given the fact that you are *Target*.
You have made “my” section even smaller – the 4 racks and wall display of unattractive options has now been reduced to 1 rack in amongst the Maternity section and Boys section. I can take the hint. I am not welcome there.
You have put the Pet section up front, in the Frozen Food section. You heard me. Frozen Food.
You have put *some* of your Health and Beauty items in a random display between Girls and Greeting Cards. The rest are over near paper towels.
Your aisles are now wide enough for a single cart. There is no wiggle room. Another person in the aisle? No problem, as long as they back out of the aisle. Perhaps that is your way of giving people some privacy; that “alone time” that some people need.
At the checkout, your clerk was complaining about computers. I might even say whining about them. But she rang up my items and then…..
The computer froze. The clerk’s response? “I wish this was mine so I could take a hammer to it!” Followed by “WHY ME!?!?” No sign of “I’m sorry for the delay. Let me get the manager.” The manager wandered over at the sound of the whining and said she had to reboot and it would take a while so I had to go to another register. No sign of “I apologize for the inconvenience. Let me help you move your purchases.” It was just “You should go to that one. She’s not doing anything.”
So, my friend. You are no longer my happy place. You are dead to me. I will find my items elsewhere. You aren’t the only big box store on the block. I will no longer go in for a birthday card and come out with a cart full of stuff.
It’s not just that you let me down. It’s that you let me down, and had your people brush me aside like “I” was the problem. I deserve to be treated better. I deserve respect.
As I said before. It’s not me. It’s you. It was fun while it lasted, but it’s over.
In no particular order:
1. Smiling is more fun than frowning.
2. Having a good loud laugh usually makes other people smile too.
3. Only say about others that which you would say to their face.
4. Own your mistakes.
5. Don’t try to hide your mistakes; they will ALWAYS be found and you will look 100% worse for not taking responsibility.
6. Life is too short to read bad books.
7. Treat yourself to some good wine (if you partake). It will make things so much more lovely.
8. Use your good china/cutlery/glasses, etc. What are you waiting for?
9. If you don’t LOVE it, get it out of your house.
10. If you haven’t used/worn/looked at it in 6 months, get rid of it. (12 if you live in seasonal climates and swap things out).
11. Wear your good jewelry.
12. Who cares about the number on the size tag. Wear what is comfortable.
13. Dress for your age.
14. Cats are fantastic companions.
15. Don’t dwell on *how* you ended up where you are. Focus on the you, you want to become.*
16. Don’t berate yourself for not being great at something. You are great at something else.
17. Dogs? Also fantastic companions.
18. Friends *can* be made through social media.
20. Popcorn for supper is acceptable.
21. Eat more green things.
22. Brussels Sprouts are not green balls of hell. They are quite delicious.
23. Chia seeds *can* be eaten.
24. Ask for help.
25. Approach stressful situations from a position of love. It will change your outlook completely.
26. Approach ALL situations from a position of love. See above.
27. Sports are better when seen live.
28. 9 pounds of cat can feel like 90, when you have to pee.
29. Candles make things lovely.
30. Foreign films tend to have better plots.
31. A movie made from a book will more than likely disappoint.
32. Some things should just not get remade.
33. It seems that there are few truly NEW ideas.
34. Celebrities are really not that interesting.
35. Taking the time to learn about a foreign co-worker’s country of origin benefits the relationship immensely.
36. There IS life after cable TV.
37. Kindness really *does* go a long way.
38. So does patience.
39. You are so much more than the work you do.
40. Wait at least an hour before responding to an infuriating email/phone call, etc. Longer than that, if you can.
41. Taking care of YOU is a gift, not a sin.
42. Fewer people than you imagine are paying attention to you right now.
43. A song – a single song – can change your mood completely.
44. One really can have too many wallets.
45. I’m pretty great.
*Someone recently said this to me. The more time I spend thinking about it, the more sense it makes.
As I was thinking about this post, it sounded somewhat familiar to me. I may have written something like this before; I don’t know. I started looking back through old posts, but whatever. If you’ve seen this before, feel free to move along.
I think the time has finally come to face reality.
The Gas ‘n Sip has won. I have lost.
They have won the war. They have successfully beaten me down to the breaking point, and beyond.
I’m officially waving the white flag, crying “Uncle” and I’m ready to sign peace treaties.
I just cannot do this. Anymore.
If you know me at all, you know that I like to laugh – even while at work. I think it’s important to have fun at what you are doing. But at the same time, I would describe myself as being incredibly conscientious and motivated to do a good job. I *want* things to go well. I *want* projects to succeed. If I’m researching a new Slurpee flavor, I want to make sure that what I provide reflects the care and thought that went in to making that available. I get extraordinarily frustrated when others don’t have the same drive. Or when, just before I put up the “New Flavor” sign, they throw in some sort of curve ball to change, delay, or otherwise screw up what I have worked so hard on.
I will fight and stand up for my opinions, but at some point it’s better to just agree.
Before I went on vacation, I was a colossal bitch. I know I was. And I was looking forward to the week off to sort of smooth some ruffled feathers and come back ready to go.
And then I came back.
Within 4 hours of my return? I had cried twice.
The Zen place I had been when I walked through the door? Gone.
The knots in my shoulders were back. My upset stomach was back. My exhaustion and all around ill-humor were both back.
In the week I was gone, my new Slurpee flavor project fell apart. The players had changed. The focus had changed. And once again, every conversation became a battle. Instead of working together to resolve, there was a huge amount of time spent on finger-pointing. Blaming. There may as well have been hair-pulling. It was just that bad. Something I submitted *3 WEEKS AGO* to make the new flavor a particular shade of red WAS STILL SITTING THERE, and yet somehow, it is my fault that the request is not done yet.
And while there is some benefit on looking back to what we could have done differently, addressing the problem at hand and moving past it seems to me to be a better course of action. I’m just spit-balling here, so who knows.
So this morning, after yet another round of “You suck. You screwed up. We can’t release this on time because you did/didn’t/should have/shouldn’t have…”, I am officially, but not irreparably, broken.
I’m 45 years old (tomorrow). (Yes, happy birthday to ME!) 🙂
I cannot work another 20+ years in this state of mind. I just cannot do it.
With that in mind, and to quote Mike Dooley, thoughts become things. I am going to put my request out to the Universe right here and invite the Universe to help. me. out.
I want a new career.
I want it to be creative, and fun, and growth-oriented, and educational, and altruistic, and generally just ADD to the world around me. I want to read books, and enjoy the sunshine, and be encouraged to take my vacation days. I want to make money that appropriately takes in to account my education, my work ethic, and my skills. I want to work with people who are encouraging and interesting and who challenge me to be a better person. I want to be able to challenge others to be better people too. I want to work with people who can learn from each other and who all want the same end result.
I would love to be a professional organizer – but not one of those people who tackle hoarders. I couldn’t do that. *shudder*
I would love to be an editor. Or a proofreader. Or a book reviewer.
I would love to be an event planner. Or a personal shopper. Or a writer. Or a painter. Or a professional sit-on-the-beach-and-count-grains-of-sand-er.
I want to look forward to my day and my projects and not look at the clock and think “Oh, dear goat. It’s only noon?!?!” I want to get up in the morning with the joyful anticipation of what I can bring to the table and put out into the world. And I want to go to bed each night thinking about all that I have done that day and all that I *get* to do tomorrow. (Not that I *have* to do. Big difference.)
I want to work in a place where a budget needs to be filled out once, not in 3 different place. Where status updates are given once, not 5+ times. Where EVERY. SINGLE. DECISION. does not require 5+ conference calls to make. Meetings at a table in a coffee shop? Sure!
So, Universe, what do you say? I know that there are jobs out there that fit my criteria. I know there are. If you want me to move to another state or country? I’m in. If you want me to sell my beautiful little doll house? I’ll do it. If you want me to look in certain areas? Send me a sign.
I’m ready to do this. And to do it in a big, big way.
(Also? If anyone reading this knows of something that might kinda sorta fit the bill? Let me know. It just means the Universe was waiting for me to say this out loud, so to speak.)
I don’t want to be broken any more.
We are 4 days into May. 4 days into the 5th month. Where has the time gone?
My favorite things about May:
- My birthday is this month. MY birthday. It’s the one day a year I get to be specialer than anyone else. Yes, I know that I’m of an age where birthdays should mean less, but guess what? They DON’T!
- The days become warmer, the trees become more beautiful, flowers bloom. The earth comes alive again.
- Mother’s day. I mean, come on. Every day should be Mother’s day. Think about all the good things Mom has done for you! (Or, for those of you with a less-than-ideal mother experience, a mother-figure). My mother deserves a Mother’s day EVERY day. But, then again, my mother is my hero.
- Fresh air! The windows come open. The winter musties get swept out with a good breeze. The screen door replaces the winter storm door.
- The cold/warm clothing swap-out. All those warm, winter clothes of which you have become so tired, get put away in favor of the lighter, brighter spring/summer clothing and open-toed shoes. EVERYTHING is “lighter”.
I hope you love May as much as I do. And think of it…if your birthday is in November, May is your 1/2 birthday month. So celebrate with me.
I was originally going to write about earworms today. You know, those songs you just can’t get out of your head. Because lately, I have been waking up with Alanis Morissette’s “All I Really Want” in my brain. More specifically the lyrics:
Why are you so petrified of silence
Here can you handle this?
Did you think about your bills, your ex, your deadlines
Or when you think you’re gonna die
Or did you long for the next distraction
I love AM. And I can’t wait to hear something new from her. But as often as I wake up lately with that in my head, I have to wonder if it’s my subconscious mind trying to tell me something. (Subconscious? Unconscious? I’ve heard it both ways, but to me these words mean tremendously different things.) (Whatevs.) (You know what I mean.)
Along those lines, is it “preventive” or “preventative”? Yes, I could go look it up, but I’m tired. *snort*
So, the reason that ear-worms aren’t getting a full post is that I was checking out my blog dashboard – for no apparent reason – and it seems there are now ten (10) of you who have subscribed to Mag and Moo’s blog.
Oh. Mah. Gah.
First of all, THANK YOU!
Secondly, WTH is wrong with you people??
Thirdly, WELCOME! *waves*
That distracted me for a while, what with the giggling and all.
I haven’t updated my 2 million steps in a while. Let me go look at my spreadsheet. (You heard me.)
Through week 17, I have walked 471,105 steps. 1,528,895 to go.
It seems that giving up cable is finally starting to take hold. I canceled it in January, and I don’t have local channels. But I have Netflix and Hulu so if there is *really* something I want to watch, I can usually find it. But over the last week and a half – starting with Monday last on my vacation – I think I have seen maybe 2 hours total of anything.
I have become quite fond of the quiet at night. The Wonder Twins are still adjusting but they’ll manage.
That’s what I have for you tonight. There was something else, but I can’t remember what it is. Next time…