Oh, hello! Tonight, we’re having some pasta salad. Help yourselves.
Where we were last week:
Amanda -5 to 230 and Rebecca -4 to 244 (1.86%)
Daniel -0 to 287 and Shay -5 to 432 (.69%)
Allen -7 to 285 and Abby -3 to 213 (1.97%)
Rudy -11 to 377 and Dina -5 to 229 (2.57%)
Liz -3 to 240 and Danny -8 to 382 (1.74%)
Julio -4 to 364 (1.09%)
Mo -8 to 318 and Tracey -4 to 213 (2.21%)
Julio was sent home.
Previews for tonight showed that they are now going to be split Blue v Black. One contestant wins the power to decide the teams. Everyone is praying Crazy Eyes doesn’t win it. Fingers crossed.
Here come the fatties. There is a black and blue wheel that looks almost like a Wheel of Fortune wheel. Sami tells them that they will be blue v black. They are freaking that one of their own will be picking the teams. 36 spaces, 1 golden ticket. They pick the team and the trainer. The other 35 spaces have other things like cash or food. They don’t all have to play. Sami tells them that if they want in, they need to step forward. Everyone is in except Abby – she said that nothing on the wheel has anything to do with why she’s there. GO ABBY!!
They are going to spin based on % lost so far.
Rudy spins first and gets a huge piece of cake for 1000 calories. Rebecca is next and she gets a 280 calorie donut. Allen is up – a cupcake, 100 calories. Danny is up. He gets a cupcake – 780 calories. (The cupcake is HUGE!!) Crazy Eyes is up. OH. MAH. GAH. She got it. Everyone is pissed! Everyone is gasping. They all think it’s eerie. Mo is convinced it’s something supernatural. She’s a witch. BUAHAHAHAHAHA
Same is putting pressure on her. Everyone is speechless! She goes off to think about it. Or, you know, kick a duck or something equally evil. We see her walking. They are all sitting around kvetching about someone else getting to pick their teams. Oh, goat. Lots and lots of crying. Dina says that if Rudy is not on her team, she will have no one to count on but herself. THAT’S THE FRIGGIN POINT!!! Own your own shit. Honestly.
They all meet up again. B&J come in. J is pissed that Crazy Eyes won. She’s grinning like…. a crazy person. *heh* She picks Bob as her trainer. He’s like… Um. Wow. But you can tell he isn’t happy. J wanted her and just wanted to kick her ass.
Blue team: Black team:
Crazy Daniel
Mo Shay
Allen Abby
Liz Danny
Rudy Amanda
Rebecca Dina
Okay, while she’s picking teams, Crazy interviews that she “needs to stop trying to please other people and take care of myself”. Um, really? When did you start to consider anyone but yourself? You whining spineless hag.
Anyhoo. The fatties aren’t especially happy with Crazy’s choices. More tears. (At least we know there will be no water weight gain this week. BUAHAHAHAHAHAHA – I kill me!) Crazy is trying to make herself cry. Now they are all back in the house, bitching. She has no integrity. She has stabbed them in the back. Liz is all whipped up.
We’re in the gym. B&J are beating up their respective teams. Amanda has already puked. The former teammates are all gazing longingly at each other. Liz just passed out or something on the treadmill. Her eyes are open. Her face is maroon! She’s eating fruit. She seems okay.
Dina can’t seem to do the leap on the stool thing. J is telling her that she needs to change her life. Dina just walked out of the gym. She wants to believe in herself. Rudy is giving her a pep talk. He brings her back to the gym and is making her jump onto the platform thing. Everyone else goes to eat. Dina stays to “confront the platform”. (It’s a little odd that she won’t just try it. What’s the worst that can happen?)
Bob has taken his team to the grocery store to teach them about food. OOO! Jennie-O product placement. They made wraps with Romaine lettuce leaves. Looked pretty good, actually.
Challenge time. Sami has some strange conductor hat on. Each team runs up a hill, carrying a platform with one of the teammates sitting on it. The winner gets videos from home. The sitter can be switched off through the game. Black team has Dina sitting. Blue team has Rebecca sitting. Blue is slow and steady and takes an early lead. They are through the mud. Black switches, Amanda is sitting now. 2nd mud pit. Black is struggling. Shay is having a hard time hanging on. Blue team wins. Black team finishes. Blue gets videos from home. Rebecca gives her video privileges to Dina. WOW! Dina sucks it up and declines it. She’s starting to own her shit. Nice.
Video night. Allen: crying. Rudy: crying. Mo: crying. His family is cute. Rebecca: crying.(Her sister is pretty funny though). Crazy: her husband doesn’t look crazy too. Um, their kitchen chairs have bull skull prints. WTF? Liz has asked Danny to watch her video with her. It’s Danny’s video! SURPRISE!! That’s so sweet. (And here I was thinking that she was kinda mean to do that to him.)
Last chance workout. J has her team outside, working as a team. Bob has his team in a 24-hour fitness club. Crazy is on a treadmill. Mo has a walking cast on. (WTF?) Liz is killing herself. Dina is still not able to do the platform jump. Maybe next week. (Makes me want to try it though.)
Tonight’s weigh in: they weigh in and get a total team percentage, whichever team loses sends one team member home.
Blue team: Total pounds: 43 Total %: 2.56
Liz -8
Rebecca -7
Mo -6 (his cast is gone??)
Tracey -7 (she weighed in first and interviewed all snotty. hate her)
Allen -7
Rudy -8
Black team: Total pounds: 54 Total %: 3.05
Abby -5
Dina -6
Amanda -6
Danny -10
Daniel -11
Shay -16 (HOLY SHAT!!!)
Blue team is sending someone home. I’ve mixed feelings. I would like to see Bob finally win a BL. But at the same time, SEND CRAZY HOME!!! Liz had the highest percentage lost – she’s got immunity. Crazy is trying to convince them to keep her. Mo is trying to decide who to vote for. Mo is falling on his sword for Crazy. He said he’s not pulling his weight, and he should go home. Now they are reconsidering. Oh goat. Please tell me they aren’t keeping her. UGH!
Voting:
Liz: Mo; Rudy: Mo; Crazy: Mo; Rebecca: Mo. Mo is going home. He’s crying!! *sob* (I cannot believe they kept her.)
At home update: he’s lots 76 pounds. He looks SO GOOD!! He’s paying it forward with kids. His goal is to be down another 75 by finale.
Next week: they go home for a week..
Oh, hello! We’re having saltines with fluff. Sounds odd, but the salty + sweet = YUM!
Where we left off last week:
Amanda -5 and Rebecca -7 (Amanda counts) (2.08%)
Daniel -6 and Shay -6 (Shay counts) (1.35%)
Allen -4 and Abby -5 (they have immunity)
Rudy -12 and Dina -3 (Rudy counts – he’s in the 300s!) (3.00%)
Antoine -11 and Sean -6 (Sean counts) (1.46%)
Liz -4 and Danny -4 (Liz counts) (1.62%)
Julio -7 (1.87%)
Mo -1 and Tracey -11 (Tracey counts) (5.26%)
Red team, Antoine and Sean went home and have done really well. Everyone hates Tracey. (Including me.) And the previews showed that she gets hurt this week. I know I shouldn’t celebrate an injury, but…. *heh*
Recap of week three. Replaying all the reason’s everyone hates Tracey and how she screwed everyone last week. Shay is blaming both purple. Dude! Mo didn’t do anything!!! Snatch.
B&J are counseling the fatties to stay for themselves. Crazy eyes has to meet with the Doc about getting to exercise. The rest are working out with Bob – weights. Now onto cardio. Bob is talking to Miss America. Jillian is talking to Julio. “Why are you so fat??” “Have you ever been good enough? Have you ever excelled?” He knows food. He’s obsessed with food. (His words, not mine. But he was 407 pounds. Just saying…) The only failure you will ever have is not trying. ~Jillian. Very deep.
Crazy eyes is with the Doc. Blood tests every three days so far. (Holy crap!) High levels of CPK – muscle damaging. She’s shut down. No exercise. No walking. No swimming. (WOW!) She crying. She doesn’t want to go home. Whatev. Now she’s going to break the news to Mo. The Doc doesn’t want her to lose any weight at all. (Um, he didn’t say that.) Mo is being kind. And now he has to pick up her slack. Again.
They all walk into a kitchen. Sami is there. The cupboards and fridges are chained and locked. For 7 days. They have to order out every single meal. Tough love, fatties. Order good stuff, just like in the real world. Challenge. 3 Choices for dinner. The team that makes the healthiest choice wins a kitchen stocked with healthy food for a year. Shay says – I work 3 jobs. I need this. (Yeah, witch. So does everyone.) They each have a chance and are grilling Sami. Half pick A, half pick C. A was healthiest. Brown, Orange and Pink are all up for the free food. One last question. Pink wins. Shay looks pissed. Shocking.
Product Placement: The Biggest Loser Simple Swaps book. Things you can swap at restaurants. Kinda cool. $13 at Amazon. Blue guy and Brown chick went to get the food. None of them got what they ordered. Brown guy is mad. Jillian tells us to swap mashed taters for cauliflower. Um, how ’bout, no. I like both, but no comparison.
Trainers are just finding out about the take out meals. Natch, Jillian is pissed. (Quick product placement with Extra Sugar-free gum). B&J are going to take them all out for a meal to show them how to eat. J has some tough ass boots on that makes me fear her even more. They are at a Mexican restaurant. They say no thank you to the free chips and salsa. J is dogging one of the pink chicks and has made her cry – but still not good enough for J.”What is your purpose for changing?” (Day-um! J is being very deep tonight!) B is chiming in now too. They are told to order water. Shay sent her meal back to get it fixed. I’m sure she’s getting back a spit meal. J is analyzing Miss America’s meal. Whew! That’s over.
Here’s Bob with a tip, in his “Hi, I’m gay!” rainbow striped shirt. Telling us all to be a PITA at restaurants – think “When Harry Met Sally” and how Sally ordered stuff. Expect spit.
They’re having a challenge – something on water. They are playing for immunity. Grab a handlebar, hang on as long as you can. Platform keeps getting steeper. Abby and Crazy eyes aren’t competing. (I am so sick of Shay always getting her comment in.) Brown chick is out. Brown guy is out. Miss America is out. Blue guy is out. Pink is out. Blue chick is out. Mo is out. Shay is out. Julio is out. It’s down to Green guy and Orange guy. (I’ll get their names eventually.)
Recap of hour one. And now back to the challenge. Green is out. Orange won immunity. Back to the gym. Last chance workout. B has them on treadmills. J is working with Blue guy. I guess his name is Rudy. She’s yelling at him. Natch. (He’s like a giant next to her. Heh.) She isn’t letting him put the kettlebells down. B is now picking on pink team. B has them jumping onto those benches like he does every year. And here is Crazy eyes sitting in the kitchen. Whining. Mo is working his butt off. (GO MO). Mo is hurt. Lower back. Trying to do too much.
Bob think Mo is wussing out. Panicking. Bob wants to know if he wants to go home. He’s thought about it. Bob is giving him an hour to rest and then try the bike. And he goes back into the gym. They are all happy for him. He’s pushing himself.
Walking to the weigh in. They are all saying how hard it has been with the eating out.
This week’s weigh in:
Amanda -5 to 230 and Rebecca -4 to 244 (1.86%)
Daniel -0 to 287 and Shay -5 to 432 (they have immunity) (.69%) (B thinks Daniel is game-playing)
Allen -7 to 285 and Abby -3 to 213 (1.97%)
Rudy -11 to 377 and Dina -5 to 229 (65 in four weeks, Rudy?!?! Holy crap!) (2.57%)
Liz -3 to 240 and Danny -8 to 382 (1.74%)
Julio -4 to 364 (1.09%)
Mo -8 to 318 and Tracey -4 to 213 (Crazy eyes gave excuses before she even weighed in.) (2.21%)
Brown and Black are up for elimination. Much wailing and gnashing of teeth while they decide who to vote out. They all think Liz would vote them out with no problem.
Orange votes Black out.
Blue votes Brown out.
Green votes Black out.
Purple votes Black out.
Julio is going home. Much crying and hugging. At home, he’s at 299. (He started at 407.) Still cooking. Lots of local organic food. The wife is being very supportive. He looks good. He wants to be at 200 by the finale.
Next week: blue v black. Golden ticket winner picks teams.
Oh, hello! We’re having sangria tonight. Not really diet friendly, but we’re not really on the show. So? Tough noogies.
Where we ended:
Amanda -4 and Rebecca -6
Daniel -7 and Shay -16
Allen -10 and Abby -11
Rudy -14 and Dina -8
Antoine -8 and Sean -11
Liz -10 and Danny -12
Julio -19
Mo -9 and Tracey -10
No one went home.
Start off with Sami offering the contestants a choice. Would you rather have the trainers or an advantage at the weigh in. Choices by team. Advantage (2 pounds) goes to 1 team – whichever chooses first. Purple team took it. Well, purple chick took it. Mo is pissed!! Kinda hating purple chick right now.
B&J comes in. Purple chick is so going to throw Mo under the bus. Biznatch! B&J are pissed now too. Purple chick is crying. They are telling her what’s what. Mo is the one who loses. She’s blaming fear. She thinks it’s a big friggin joke!
Abby (green chick) has a stress fracture. She can swim. No land exercises. No weight on it. She’s crying but is determined to not give up. Gotta give her props. Another obstacle and she isn’t giving up. I can’t hate her. Bob is giving her a little pep talk and going on about nutrition. Oops. Product placement. Yogurt.
Temptation. Would you rather control your diet or control the game. Phucking purple chick wants to control the game of course. Whoever wins the challenge determines which team member controls the weigh in – only one person from each team will represent the team on the scale. Who ever eats more cupcakes, wins the challenge. Red dude ate one. Purple chick is dying to. And she’s eating. And eating. Purple chick is still eating. She ate 4 cupcakes. Red dude ate 2. She won. I hate her. If Mo goes home because of this snatch, I’m going to be PISSED!! Jill is PISSED!!! And she has a right to be. Purple chick is taking it as a joke.
Workouts beginning. Mo is watching what everyone else is doing and copying them when they are done. Good for him. Brown dude is playing with the ginormous tire. Jillian is laughing at him.
(I’m leaving out all the references to commercials this time because, OMGoat, there are too many of them.)
They are in a field. Sami has a cowboy hat on. There is a huge incline, and 25 pound buckets, or small 5 pound buckets. They have to bring the buckets up, and get 500 pounds to win. Abby and Tracey are hurt, so they are sitting out. Their teammates are on their own and only have to do 250 pounds. Orange, Brown, Red, and Black are all doing the 25 pounds. The rest are doing 2 of 5 pounds. It’s between pink and green at this point. Green won. They have immunity. Yay, Green. Pink is in second. Brown is going to finish. Blue is on the way to finishing. Orange is finishing. Red is running up to finish. They all went over and helped Mo finish. They were showing him that he didn’t have to do it alone. Get rid of Mo’s “partner” and this cast kicks ass!!
Last chance workouts. Shay seems to be “getting” it. Cartman seems to “get” it. Blue chick is whining. Jill is yelling at her. She’s running. And made it. Bob is dogging Pink blond chick. She whined. Then did it anyway.
Oh, now Purple chick is all stressed about who to pick. It is ALL about game-play with this hag. Jillian is going off!! *snort*. Everyone is looking around like “Uh-oh! Momma’s getting mad!!”
Purple chick has totally phucked EVERYONE over this week.
Tonight’s weigh-in:
Amanda -5 and Rebecca -7 (Amanda counts) (2.08%)
Daniel -6 and Shay -6 (Shay counts) (1.35%)
Allen -4 and Abby -5 (they have immunity)
Rudy -12 and Dina -3 (Rudy counts – he’s in the 300s!) (3.00%)
Antoine -11 and Sean -6 (Sean counts) (1.46%)
Liz -4 and Danny -4 (Liz counts) (1.62%)
Julio -7 (1.87%)
Mo -1 and Tracey -11 (Tracey counts) (5.26%)
Goat bless Mo for still being a good man.
Two teams go below yellow line and one team will go home. Orange is below the yellow line. Red is below the yellow line. Shay is losing it. She doesn’t think she will make it at home. Red dude is trying to be good. Both Red dudes are agreeing to self-sacrifice for the benefit of Orange. They are both being so amazing. Shay really appreciates this, I think. I really like how this cast seems to be really supporting each other, and they are all (except Tracey) there for the right reasons. V v cool.
Black voted Red to go.
Green voted Red to go.
Pink voted Red to go.
Purple voted Red to go. (She’s making excuses again. Hate. Bitch makes me stabby.)
Red team – OUT. 😦
AT home update: Antoine is down 105!!! He and Alexandra are together. They seem happy and in love. Sean is down 120 pounds!! He’s running. It’s so cool. Mrs. Sean is pregnant with a little girl that they are going to name Jillian. They both look great!
Next week? Purple chick gets injured. Coincidence or karma?
Oh, hello! Come on in and have some jello.
So, the results from last week:
Orange team: Daniel -12 and Shay -17 (they have immunity)
Green team: Allen -19 and Abby -15 (WOW!)
Pink team: Amanda -6 and Rebecca -18
Blue team: Rudy -28 and Dina -8
Red team: Antoine -18 and Sean -22 (reminds me of Cartman) (WOW!)
Brown team: Liz -10 and Danny -24
Black team: Alexandra -13 and Julio -13 (Alexandra went home)
Purple team: Mo -19 and Tracey – TBD (GO MO!)
So before I get started, the K2Kid and I were talking today, and have decided that some changes would be nice. What if, since they insist on making the show 2 hours every week, they spent a good amount of time and showed us what they eat. Like for a typical day? You know – teach us something. Since they keep telling us about the obesity problem, how about less of Jillian screeching at the players. We get it, she’s tough. She yells. She makes people cry. Move on.
Also, the K2Kid came up with that it should be “Lowest Percentage Lost, and you’re out”. None of the “teams” or voting out. This isn’t survivor. It’s about changing your life. Losing weight. Reclaiming yourself. She’s a smart one, that K2Kid.
Okay. Enough of that. Hang on….. Okay. I had to climb down from the soap box. Whew. It’s really high up there.
******************
On to tonight’s haps: (yeah, and I still don’t know names, so whatever. Bear with me.)
The previews showed that if collectively the fatties don’t lose 150 pounds, 2 will be going home. Let’s see how that plays out.
OOOOOOOOOOO, they’re all talking smack about Julio staying there. Sami told them all after they booted Alexandra home about the 150 pound challenge. Brown dude looks stunned. Way to throw in that twist Sami!
Julio is sucking up. Mo giving them a pep talk on how to do the 150. (LOVE him!) Daniel is now giving them his wisdom. Red dude looks like he’s eating.
First workout. B&J start with the pep talk, and the fatties tell them about the 150 deal. J says it can’t be done and they should just pick 2 to go home now. Way to motivate, you snatch. Bob takes half to work out, Jill takes half to talk about eating. Calories in v. calories out. Get more out before exercising. Bob is doing circuits with the fatties.
Brown dude is crying. 11 minutes in. He’s also a sweaty pig. Bob’s dogging him. Hee.
And commercials….
We’re back. Dina (blue chick) is whining at Bob already. She thinks he’s whacked. Blue dude is encouraging her. Brown team is with Jill to make lunch. Probably a product placement. YEP! Ziploc. (I wonder if they feel as stupid doing these product placements as they look?)
Meanwhile, at the hospital. Mo is going to see Tracey. (Flashback to her on the beach. Yes, I’m giggling. Don’t judge me.) She’s still in the hospital bed. Mo has got to be the sweetest man. EVAH!! She thinks she’ll be back tomorrow.
Shay is bitching about Julio. Again. Shaddup. Orange team still working out. Julio still not. Okay, he’s on the stair climb thing. At a rate of about one flight of stairs. Per day. Julio = dead weight at this point. Orange chick = mouthy biznatch.
And commercials….
We’re back. Tracey walks in. They all hug, blah, blah, blah. And she’s crying. Oy. She’s weak. (Her words, not mine.) She’s chatting with Bob. She can’t work out with everyone else. Doctor won’t let her. Bob is pushing her diet. Well, actually the BL Protein Powder. She hasn’t said yet what exactly happened.
They’re back at the CA Health and Longevity Institute again. It looks like they are in the kitchen. The guest chef is….
And commercials….
Wait – keep a food journal. Jill said so. (As an aside… I have been doing this for the past week. Great app on the iPhone (free) that lets you log all of it. It’s keeping me honest and takes next to no time.)
Now commercials….
The guest chef is Curtis Stone. (He’s hot!!) Kitchen boot camp. 7 tips. Sami is going to quiz them. If they get 5 right, they get a 15 pound advantage at the weigh in.
1. Portion size… 3-4 ounces. (Buy the biggest loser scale!)
2. Fats and Oils. Bake, poach, steam, grill, broil. Don’t cook any other way.
3. Don’t eat fast food salads.
4. Pasta – cut it in half by adding veggies.
5. Soda – red dude loves soda.
6. Snacking – eat protein. (Cheese.)
Oh god. They look bored. I didn’t hear a #7. Whatev.
And commercials….
We’re back. Quiz time. I can’t possibly write the questions. Mostly because I’m glazing over. Purple: correct; Orange: correct; Brown: correct; Pink: correct; Green: WRONG; Red: WRONG; Blue: correct. They get the 15 pound advantage. The fatties are cheering. (Shay is talking smack about Julio again. Shaddup!!!)
Commercials…. (Macy’s ad: could Mariah let her knockers hang out more??? Jeepers.)
We’re back. Hour one recap. Then a challenge. Water is involved. Rainbow flags. (A gay challenge! YAY! Just kidding.) 4 rafts, connected by balance beams. Each fattie has to get to each raft. If one falls, they all lose. The balance beams get smaller as they go. Prizes: raft 1: 5 pound advantage. Raft 2: 5 more pounds. Raft 3: Calls from home. Raft 4: 10 more pounds (and the knowledge that they all worked together.) They get “suited up” with helmets and life vests. They’re freaking. Tracey is whining. They made it to raft 1. On to raft 2. Abby is freaking.
Commercials…
We’re back. They made it to raft 2. 10 pounds so far. On to raft 3. Brown dude is crying. Red dude is crying. They made it to raft 3. They are working together well. On to raft 4. Shay is freaking out. They made it. Another 10 pounds. So they have a 35 pound advantage at weigh in. Calls to home. Crying commencing in 3… 2… 1….
Commercials…
They’re all eating Subway. B&J come in. And crush them about losing 115 pounds total. Not encouraging. Phuckers. B&J are strategizing. Bob is targeting Julio. Jill is hating on Julio. Last chance workout. Bob is killing Julio. Jill is killing everyone else. Julio claims he won’t be below the line again. Jill is teensy compared to Rudy.
Commercials….
Shay is crying. Bob is making her say that she deserves to be happy. She may be having a breakthrough. Moving on. They walk in to the scales. Jill is looking all biker biznatch. Bob is all Bob. Sami has a lovely red dress on. Recap of the week by Sami. They each need to lose about 7+ pounds this week. Bob crushes them again. Pink is up first.
Weigh in:
Amanda -4 and Rebecca -6 (B&J are all “told you so” – complete with head bobble, pursed lips, and finger wave)
Daniel -7 and Shay -16 (Daniel is in the 2oos.)
Allen -10 and Abby -11 (suck on that B&J!)
Rudy -14 and Dina -8 (Rudy is at 400. 42 pounds in 2 weeks.)
Antoine -8 and Sean -11 (fatties shouldn’t dance. *eek*. Oh, and red dude’s wife is having a baby girl)
Liz -10 and Danny -12 (SERIOUS moobs on this dude. And we got a close up.)
Julio -19 (suck on that Shay!)
Mo -9 and Tracey -10 (BTDub, Tracey started at 238. They weighed her at the hospital.)
They collectively lost 155 pounds. Suck on that B&J. They beat the week 2 curse. Pretty impressive, fatties. You are keeping me motivated!!!
Oh, hello! Come in and have a sugar-free popsicle, and we’ll watch episode one together.
A new season of TBL starts tonight. I can’t wait. The transformations are usually phenomenal, even though, by the end of the season, the remaining contestants make me stabby.
This season is being called “The Season of Second Chances”.
The contestants:
Abby: 35 yo teacher; her “second chance” is that she lost her husband and 2 kids in a fatal car accident (SAD!!), and wants to get back to life. Horrible, horrible story. Really. She’s 5’4″. Starting weight: 247 pounds.
Alexandra: 20 yo college student; 5’8″. Second chance at a future – living a normal college life. Cannot currently fit into the classroom seats. Starting weight: 309 pounds
Allen: 44 yo fireman. 5’11”. Second chance: success as a fireman. His weight currently puts others in his unit at risk. Starting weight: 325 pounds.
Amanda: 19 yo Patient Care Tech. 5’6″. Second chance: “to really start living in her 20s”. (WTH?) She is the one selected at the finale of last season. Starting weight: 250 pounds.
Antoine: 23 yo Health Insurance Agent. 6’0″. (health insurance? heh.) Second chance: his father died at age 30, and he feels he may too. Starting weight: 367 pounds.
Daniel: 20 yo student. 5’8″. Second chance: he was on last season with the dick-head partner who didn’t do much. I liked him last season, and wanted him to succeed, but honestly, I don’t know how I feel about him having another go on this show. I think it irritates me that he comes back, when there are so many others in this country who would love the opportunity. He’s already lost 142 pounds at home, so he clearly has a handle on it. We’ll see if he can change my mind. Starting weight: 312 pounds.
Danny: 39 yo land surveyor/musician. 5’11”. Second chance: he previously lost weight and gained it back. His family wants him to be more healthy. Rock star at 17. Starting weight: 430 pounds.
Dina: 28 yo custodian. 5’5″. Second chance: gained weight while pregnant with her son. Her doctor said her weight is preventing her from getting pregnant again. Starting weight: 253 pounds.
Julio: 40 yo mortgage loan officer. 6’0″. Second chance: To help him with his job and to be an example for his wife and kids. Starting weight: 407 pounds.
Liz: 47 yo salesperson. 5’7″. Second chance: to have energy to play with the 9 grandkids and to be healthier for her husband who had bypass surgery. Starting weight: 267 pounds.
Mo: 56 yo youth mentor. 6’2″. Second chance: to be a role model for the kids he mentors and to prove that you can do anything you set your mind to. (oops, my participle is dangling… *blush*). Starting weight: 355 pounds.
Rebecca: 25 yo student/nanny. 5’6″. Second chance: previously lost weight and gained it again. Has been called fat all of her life. 235 by 14. (Yikes!) Starting weight: 279 pounds.
Rudy: 34 yo engineer. 6’4″. (Big ‘un!) Second chance: to be healthy for his kids and to be around to walk his daughters down the aisle. Starting weight: 442 pounds.
Sean: 29 yo youth pastor. 6’2″. Second chance: he is also a musician and losing weight will help him to succeed in that. 2 kids and one on the way. Starting weight: 444 pounds.
Shay: 30 yo social worker. 5’8″. Second chance: to be a better role model for her clients and help motivate them. Also, she grew up in foster care, while her homeless mother lost her battle with a heroine addiction. Starting weight: 476 pounds. (making her the single largest contestant, man or woman, to ever be on the show.)
Tracey: 37 yo homemaker. 5’2″. Second chance: gained a lot of pregnancy weight (4 kids! UGH!) and wants to be able to run with her Marine husband. Starting weight: (TBD – She’s still at the hospital.) (She gets helicoptered out for medical attention.)
Of course, Jillian and Bob are back. They are co-training this season. I’m not sure what that means. We’ll find out. And Ali is the host. Let the fun begin!
Ali greets them and gives them a challenge. They have to run a mile. The winner gets Immunity at this weeks weigh in. And pick a partner for the rest of the season. Both have immunity. Fatties are not happy. She stops them before they start so that Daniel can arrive. (Pause for 42 commercials). We’re back. Most are walking. Tracey “sprinted” up the hill. Then couldn’t run down the hill. Shay is last so far. Lots of encouraging each other so far. Daniel won. 14:20 for a mile. Not bad. Tracey is down. Mo is uber sweating and with the doctors. Shay is down. And she’s up. Tracey is still down. Medic is with her. Everyone is helping her. Carrying her. And she’s down again. (It’s really bad, but I’m giggling.) She can’t keep her eyes open. She on the table. Medics are everywhere. Just called the med-evac. Aaaaaand, she’s off to the hospital. (Pause for 37 commercials.)
We’re back. Tracey and Mo are still at the hospital, but still fine. They are picking partners now. Wait, 1 hour of bonding before partnering. Lots of tears. Lots of sad stories.
Partners are:
Daniel and Shay – orange team
Allen and Abby – green team
Amanda and Rebecca – pink team
Rudy and Dina – blue team
Antoine and Sean – red team
Liz and Danny – brown team
Alexandra and Julio – black team
Mo and Shay – purple team
Weigh ins! And enter Bob and Jillian. Jillian is already bitchy. Lots of tears. Lots of shots of Bob and Jillian looking astounded. More people over 400 pounds than any other season. Bob is horrified at the size of Shay. (*snort*).
Workouts! They all have body bugs. (I’ve checked – $275). Jillian is already yelling. Lots of sweat. Lots of flashed of gut. (EEK!). Tears. Oh, god. There are a lot of moobs this season. And WE HAVE PUKING!!! (ftw)
The trainers are cussing up a storm. “Make a choice. If you don’t choose to change, no one can help you.” From Jillian. Not bad.
Shay just wussed out of the work out. Probably not the best idea when Jillian is screeching at you during your first work out.
(42 more commercials. And a recap of the first hour.)
Back to Shay. Sobbing. B&J are ignoring her trying to get her to come back. She manned up, and went back in. And J is back in her face.
Mo is back. He was dehydrated, low blood sugar and low blood pressure. Red guy (Sean, I think) gave him the purple shirt and told him that Tracey is his partner and still in the hospital.
Trip to the doctor. Dr. H greets them and scares the crap out of them with medical stuff. CA Health and Longevity Institute for more tests. MRIs and X-Rays and blood tests and on and on. Again, scaring the crap out of the fatties. What diseases they have, their actual age versus their medical age. OMG. More tears. Followed by 57 more commercials.
Last chance workout, BITCH! Screaming, puking, sweating, grunting, pain, drama, falling. Julio smooched Jillian for dogging him. Hee. Bob: this group has a lot of emotional baggage. Ya think?? Waiting for Alexandra to belt J in the head with the weights.
Weigh in: (Oh, wait. More commercials.)
(I’m going to show amount of weight lost this week.)
Daniel -12 and Shay -17 (they have immunity)
Allen -19 and Abby -15 (WOW!)
Amanda -6 and Rebecca -18
Rudy -28 and Dina -8
Antoine -18 and Sean -22 (reminds me of Cartman) (WOW!)
Liz -10 and Danny -24
Alexandra -13 and Julio -13
Mo -19 and Shay – TBD (GO MO!)
There is a whole lot of BAD makeup going on this season. Oy! So far, I love Coach Mo. (GO MO!!) I hate Alexandra. Not loving Daniel right now. He’s cocky – like “I’ve done this before, you should listen to me”. I like the brown team. I like the green team. Not loving pink. Jury is still out on the rest.
Black team is below the yellow line. Alexandra and Julio. Alexandra is going home by a vote of 4-3!! Thank goat. Bitch is out of there. Transformation moment: lost 60 pounds at home. She looks pretty good. The makeup is still criminal. She wants to be at 180 by finale.
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