Oh, hello! We’re having tea and bagels this morning. Help yourself.
I do love me some makeover shows. I loved What Not To Wear (WNTW) on the BBC. Trinny and Susannah picked apart the wardrobes of frumpy, schlumpy women and made them FABULOUS! And unlike American telly, they got to say things like “You have really great tits!”
There was a show on TLC (I think) called 10 Years Younger that was fun. (It might still be on, but something shiny went by and I haven’t watched it in forever, so who knows.) They took someone, put them in a sound-proof box. Then random passers-by critiqued them and what was “wrong” with their look/style and said how old they looked. After new clothes, new hair/makeup, and a pep talk, they went back in the box and went thru the same process. The difference was 10 years younger. (Imagine the editing that went into that!)
Then TLC brought WNTW to America. They made it an hour show, instead of the 30 minutes that BBC had. The first season (maybe 2?) they had Stacey and Wayne. Remember Wayne? The Fabio-wannabe with the long hair who thought he was all that, and a bag of chips, plus tax? Yeah, not so much. He was replaced by Clinton – a tall, thin, fabulous partner. They (S&C) make over women (they used to do guys too, but not any more) and are very respectful of the “big” girls – “It’s not about what size you are”, etc. blah blah blah. (Oh, of course it is. That’s what we do here in this country. But I digress). I still watch them and enjoy seeing the transformations. They finally replaced the hair guy (thank goat!) and now if they would replace the annoying makeup chick (not everybody wants a phucking smoky eye, you whore. And put on a top that fits, while you are at it!) the show would be great.
Well, now we have the best of both worlds. Trinny and Susannah have come to America!! I absolutely LOVE these two. Why? Because, while like C&S, they are respectful of “women of size”, they don’t gloss over it. They confront it and celebrate the “flaws” – regardless of the size of the woman. They also aren’t afraid of pointing out their own “flaws”. It’s definitely more like your best girlfriends telling you what you need to hear, rather than what you want to hear. AND! they take their “victim” to a store in their own town. IMO, this is the best part. They show the makeover person how to shop in their own environment with what they have available to them on a regular basis.
C&S fly the makeover person to NYC to shop. That is great and exciting and glamorous, but it’s not realistic for women who live in North Dakota, or Ohio, or wherever, who don’t have access to the ritzy-titzy stores of Manhattan.
Anyhoo. Today’s blog was brought about because I was trying to celebrate my gut, and I thought about how awesome it would be to have Trinny and Susannah come here and do a makeover on me. Here is their website, in case you want to find out more about them.
Oh, hello! Come in and have a sugar-free popsicle, and we’ll watch episode one together.
A new season of TBL starts tonight. I can’t wait. The transformations are usually phenomenal, even though, by the end of the season, the remaining contestants make me stabby.
This season is being called “The Season of Second Chances”.
The contestants:
Abby: 35 yo teacher; her “second chance” is that she lost her husband and 2 kids in a fatal car accident (SAD!!), and wants to get back to life. Horrible, horrible story. Really. She’s 5’4″. Starting weight: 247 pounds.
Alexandra: 20 yo college student; 5’8″. Second chance at a future – living a normal college life. Cannot currently fit into the classroom seats. Starting weight: 309 pounds
Allen: 44 yo fireman. 5’11”. Second chance: success as a fireman. His weight currently puts others in his unit at risk. Starting weight: 325 pounds.
Amanda: 19 yo Patient Care Tech. 5’6″. Second chance: “to really start living in her 20s”. (WTH?) She is the one selected at the finale of last season. Starting weight: 250 pounds.
Antoine: 23 yo Health Insurance Agent. 6’0″. (health insurance? heh.) Second chance: his father died at age 30, and he feels he may too. Starting weight: 367 pounds.
Daniel: 20 yo student. 5’8″. Second chance: he was on last season with the dick-head partner who didn’t do much. I liked him last season, and wanted him to succeed, but honestly, I don’t know how I feel about him having another go on this show. I think it irritates me that he comes back, when there are so many others in this country who would love the opportunity. He’s already lost 142 pounds at home, so he clearly has a handle on it. We’ll see if he can change my mind. Starting weight: 312 pounds.
Danny: 39 yo land surveyor/musician. 5’11”. Second chance: he previously lost weight and gained it back. His family wants him to be more healthy. Rock star at 17. Starting weight: 430 pounds.
Dina: 28 yo custodian. 5’5″. Second chance: gained weight while pregnant with her son. Her doctor said her weight is preventing her from getting pregnant again. Starting weight: 253 pounds.
Julio: 40 yo mortgage loan officer. 6’0″. Second chance: To help him with his job and to be an example for his wife and kids. Starting weight: 407 pounds.
Liz: 47 yo salesperson. 5’7″. Second chance: to have energy to play with the 9 grandkids and to be healthier for her husband who had bypass surgery. Starting weight: 267 pounds.
Mo: 56 yo youth mentor. 6’2″. Second chance: to be a role model for the kids he mentors and to prove that you can do anything you set your mind to. (oops, my participle is dangling… *blush*). Starting weight: 355 pounds.
Rebecca: 25 yo student/nanny. 5’6″. Second chance: previously lost weight and gained it again. Has been called fat all of her life. 235 by 14. (Yikes!) Starting weight: 279 pounds.
Rudy: 34 yo engineer. 6’4″. (Big ‘un!) Second chance: to be healthy for his kids and to be around to walk his daughters down the aisle. Starting weight: 442 pounds.
Sean: 29 yo youth pastor. 6’2″. Second chance: he is also a musician and losing weight will help him to succeed in that. 2 kids and one on the way. Starting weight: 444 pounds.
Shay: 30 yo social worker. 5’8″. Second chance: to be a better role model for her clients and help motivate them. Also, she grew up in foster care, while her homeless mother lost her battle with a heroine addiction. Starting weight: 476 pounds. (making her the single largest contestant, man or woman, to ever be on the show.)
Tracey: 37 yo homemaker. 5’2″. Second chance: gained a lot of pregnancy weight (4 kids! UGH!) and wants to be able to run with her Marine husband. Starting weight: (TBD – She’s still at the hospital.) (She gets helicoptered out for medical attention.)
Of course, Jillian and Bob are back. They are co-training this season. I’m not sure what that means. We’ll find out. And Ali is the host. Let the fun begin!
Ali greets them and gives them a challenge. They have to run a mile. The winner gets Immunity at this weeks weigh in. And pick a partner for the rest of the season. Both have immunity. Fatties are not happy. She stops them before they start so that Daniel can arrive. (Pause for 42 commercials). We’re back. Most are walking. Tracey “sprinted” up the hill. Then couldn’t run down the hill. Shay is last so far. Lots of encouraging each other so far. Daniel won. 14:20 for a mile. Not bad. Tracey is down. Mo is uber sweating and with the doctors. Shay is down. And she’s up. Tracey is still down. Medic is with her. Everyone is helping her. Carrying her. And she’s down again. (It’s really bad, but I’m giggling.) She can’t keep her eyes open. She on the table. Medics are everywhere. Just called the med-evac. Aaaaaand, she’s off to the hospital. (Pause for 37 commercials.)
We’re back. Tracey and Mo are still at the hospital, but still fine. They are picking partners now. Wait, 1 hour of bonding before partnering. Lots of tears. Lots of sad stories.
Partners are:
Daniel and Shay – orange team
Allen and Abby – green team
Amanda and Rebecca – pink team
Rudy and Dina – blue team
Antoine and Sean – red team
Liz and Danny – brown team
Alexandra and Julio – black team
Mo and Shay – purple team
Weigh ins! And enter Bob and Jillian. Jillian is already bitchy. Lots of tears. Lots of shots of Bob and Jillian looking astounded. More people over 400 pounds than any other season. Bob is horrified at the size of Shay. (*snort*).
Workouts! They all have body bugs. (I’ve checked – $275). Jillian is already yelling. Lots of sweat. Lots of flashed of gut. (EEK!). Tears. Oh, god. There are a lot of moobs this season. And WE HAVE PUKING!!! (ftw)
The trainers are cussing up a storm. “Make a choice. If you don’t choose to change, no one can help you.” From Jillian. Not bad.
Shay just wussed out of the work out. Probably not the best idea when Jillian is screeching at you during your first work out.
(42 more commercials. And a recap of the first hour.)
Back to Shay. Sobbing. B&J are ignoring her trying to get her to come back. She manned up, and went back in. And J is back in her face.
Mo is back. He was dehydrated, low blood sugar and low blood pressure. Red guy (Sean, I think) gave him the purple shirt and told him that Tracey is his partner and still in the hospital.
Trip to the doctor. Dr. H greets them and scares the crap out of them with medical stuff. CA Health and Longevity Institute for more tests. MRIs and X-Rays and blood tests and on and on. Again, scaring the crap out of the fatties. What diseases they have, their actual age versus their medical age. OMG. More tears. Followed by 57 more commercials.
Last chance workout, BITCH! Screaming, puking, sweating, grunting, pain, drama, falling. Julio smooched Jillian for dogging him. Hee. Bob: this group has a lot of emotional baggage. Ya think?? Waiting for Alexandra to belt J in the head with the weights.
Weigh in: (Oh, wait. More commercials.)
(I’m going to show amount of weight lost this week.)
Daniel -12 and Shay -17 (they have immunity)
Allen -19 and Abby -15 (WOW!)
Amanda -6 and Rebecca -18
Rudy -28 and Dina -8
Antoine -18 and Sean -22 (reminds me of Cartman) (WOW!)
Liz -10 and Danny -24
Alexandra -13 and Julio -13
Mo -19 and Shay – TBD (GO MO!)
There is a whole lot of BAD makeup going on this season. Oy! So far, I love Coach Mo. (GO MO!!) I hate Alexandra. Not loving Daniel right now. He’s cocky – like “I’ve done this before, you should listen to me”. I like the brown team. I like the green team. Not loving pink. Jury is still out on the rest.
Black team is below the yellow line. Alexandra and Julio. Alexandra is going home by a vote of 4-3!! Thank goat. Bitch is out of there. Transformation moment: lost 60 pounds at home. She looks pretty good. The makeup is still criminal. She wants to be at 180 by finale.
Oh, hello! Chips and salsa, with guacamole? Help yourself.
**DISCLAIMER: This is only my opinion. Don’t sue me.***
I used to be a huge fan of Oprah. I was one of her sheep. I saw the show where she first revealed her big weight-loss. Remember that wagon full of fat? I followed along with her book club. I read her choices religiously. But I stopped… my goat, those books were SO depressing!!
Then she came out with her magazine. The magazine where she herself is on the cover, EVERY FRIGGIN MONTH! The magazine where she forgot her poor roots and now continually advertises $1,000 watches, and $500 blankets, all as things that her faithful flock “need” to have.
Then she “gave” everyone in her audience a car. She didn’t pay for them. And these people all had to pay the taxes etc on the cars. Some gift.
And finally, there was her on-air character assassination of James Frey. Yes, his book was published as a memoir, and contained fictional parts. But, if that book helped even ONE person turn their life around, then really. Who cares? It was an interesting story, and he deserved good publicity. He did NOT deserve to be humiliated on national television.
Bottom line? In my opinion, Ms. Winfrey does not do anything that doesn’t benefit her in some way. She also doesn’t do anything without making sure the entire world knows about it. Nothing she does is altruistic or selfless. She has lost sight of her roots, her humble beginnings, where she started. I truly admire what she has been able to accomplish – she is one of the most famous people in the world. And I get why people love her. Sort of.
But there is more to life than money. There is more to life than paying people to like you. More and more of her shows are about the famous, the rich. Her famous friends. The famous doctors. It’s not about who she can help anymore. It’s about her. And only her. She doesn’t deserve the adulation. She doesn’t deserve the worship. And, in my opinion, it’s disgusting.
Oh, hello. Iced tea and ‘Nilla Wafers?
What’s on your television? There is so much good stuff on in the summers now! Love that! Of course most of it is not on the regular networks.
Burn Notice – HOT Jeffrey Donovan stars. HOT Gabrielle Anwar costars. HOT Bruce Campbell costars. Its a crime show, it’s part comedy, it’s exciting. Jeffrey Donovan is Michael Westen – a spy who got burned (fired) and makes a living helping out people using all his spy knowledge and stuff. More time needs to be spent with the camera on Mr. Donovan shirtless, but other than that. Gabrielle Anwar is Fiona – she is Michael’s ex and is hot and bad ass. She totally needs to eat a cheeseburger, but I totally have a girl-crush on her anyway. Bruce Campbell is Sam – Michael’s older spy buddy. He is v v handsome. And adds the much needed wit. Also, Sharon Gless (yes, that one! From Cagney and Lacey) is Michael’s mother. She can be a touch annoying, but also adds wit. If you aren’t watching Burn Notice, you are missing out.
The Closer – Kyra Sedgwick (Mrs. Kevin Bacon) stars as the police chief in LA. Her staff handles major crimes. Her team is experienced, quirky, funny, and fun to watch. Ms. Sedgwick is also bad ass and gives women a great role model.
In Plain Sight – well, here is yet another show with a strong, smart woman to emulate. Mary and Marshall are Inspectors with the Witness Protection Program. They help people relocate to Albequerque. There are minor characters that help round out the cast and the whole team is fun to watch.
Psych – James Roday and Dule’ Hill star as Shawn and Gus. Shawn has “psychic” ability – which is actually just acute observational skills, and Gus is his BFF and together they help the Santa Barbara police department solve crimes. Shawn is the comedian and Gus is the “straight” man, but they are funny. Also, there is a pineapple hidden in every episode. That alone is reason to watch.
Castle – I LOVE THIS SHOW!!! There are repeats on this summer, and they are just as good the second time around. And to think, ABC considered cancelling this show. *hard head slap for ABC execs*. Nathan Fillion, who is smokin’ hot, is Richard Castle, a crime novelist who is shadowing the lovely Stana Katic, a police detective, so that he can get stories for his next novel. If you have ever seen Nathan Fillion in anything, you know that he has a very wry wit, great facial expressions, and he’s pretty to look at. He is fantastic in this show. I’ll keep watching the repeats until the show comes back on in September.
I also still watch L&O CI – I’m really liking Jeff Goldblum in this show. I used to think he was quirky looking, but day-ummmm! He has aged VERY well. As much as I love Vincent D’Onofrio, Mr. Goldblum is quickly becoming my new favorite. (Sorry Debra!)
I’ve given Hawthorne a chance, but it’s not holding my attention, I think. Jada Pinkett Smith is a nurse who runs everything, but she seems to be everywhere in the hospital, all up in everyone’s business, and never gets tired. Now, maybe the hospital is tiny and that can be realistic, but…. eh. I’m not buying it.
I’ve also given Royal Pains a chance, mostly because I think Mark Feurstein is such a cutie. Normally, I don’t like characters like the brother, but for some reason, I find the brother amusing. It’s a good show, I guess, but again, it’s about a doctor who can cure everything and is exactly where he needs to be at the exact right time. Unrealistic, but not rocket science.
I guess that’s it. It might seem that that is alot of shows to watch, but the DVR is a wonderful thing. 60 minute program in about 43. Record everything and watch it later.
If you are wondering what to watch, try one of these. You’ll be amused for an hour.
MagAndMoo's Blog 