Life thru the haze of cat hair.

Monthly Archives: October 2010

Oh hello! Come on in and settle on the sofa. It’s a snuggle into the sofa kind of day. And here’s some soup.

Today’s task: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know

This is a tough one, because as I go through life and age like fine wine, I find myself saying goodbye to people frequently. I know that sounds cold and somewhat heartless, but it’s more for my own sanity than to be nasty.

I find that if I am stressed by the presence of someone, it’s better for me to distance myself from them, rather than try to develop a relationship that won’t be fulfilling for either of us. I won’t be putting my best foot forward for them, so they won’t have a chance to really know me. And I don’t want to know them, so it’s better to just walk away.

I’ve done that with a book club recently. One member was, in my opinion, very mouthy and superior and opinionated, and I was feeling cowed by her. I didn’t enjoy going to meetings. So, I opted to leave the group.

Perhaps it would have been more beneficial to stay with the group and make it a project to get to know this woman and find out why she is the way she is. It would have been a growth experience. Who knows. Maybe she would have been my new BFF.

But no. I would rather drift away from situations and live a quiet and simple existence. That works for me.

Tomorrow: Something people seem to compliment you the most on

Okay. So I haven’t done it EVERY day. I didn’t get a chance on Friday. Saturday, I did and THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO DIE! I was so sore.

But I must persevere. I was exhausted from the weekend yesterday, so I didn’t do it yesterday. And I got up late today so I missed this morning. But I intend to do it tonight when I get home. I feel so much better after I do it. And provided I don’t fall asleep the second I get home, I will feel good again tonight.

Oh, hello! Come in. Have a donut.

Who did I not mean to let go of but they just drifted away….

I guess that would be either my friend Michelle. Or the Sister.

I met Michelle about 12 years ago. She was strong and made friends with me at a time when I was alone and needed a friend. She was kind and adventurous and encouraging. She didn’t judge me for anything. When I moved home to Maine, we drifted. At first slowly and more recently almost completely. I miss her, but we now have different interests.

The Sister and I have also drifted. We see each other at holidays and might speak once or twice a year about our parents, but other than that, nothing. We have almost nothing in common any more other than being related.

I don’t like regrets but sometimes that is what I feel. I think people are in our lives for a reason and, like the tide, they drift in and out as appropriate. I will be forever grateful to Michelle for all she did for me. And I will be forever related to the Sister so in some way, she will always be in my life in some ways. And these won’t be the last people to drift away from me. I’m okay with that. It’s normal.

Tomorrow: Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know

Oh hello! Come in. We’re having a burger with sweet potato fries.

Who made my life hell?

All the girls in high school. I was a brainy nerd in high school. All the “cool” girls who were not as smart and played the “cool” sports – basketball, field hockey – looked down on me, made fun of me, picked on me and made my life generally miserable.

I made it easier for them. I didn’t have the internal fortitude to stand up to them. I never fought back.

I read something that said by the time you turn 30, you should forgive the mean girls in high school. I didn’t like high school. I didn’t go to my reunion because of those girls. I want nothing to do with them.

But it is time to forgive them. I didn’t make it by 30, but it’s time. It’s also time to forgive myself for allowing it to happen.

I will leave that behind me and move on.

Tomorrow: Someone you didn’t want to let go of but just drifted