Oh, hello! Come on in. Coffee is on, and cereal is on the counter.

Yesterday, I complained about being in a snit, for which I didn’t know the cause.  I think I may have figured it out.

Every time there is some huge tragedy in the world – the tsunami, Katrina, the earthquake – I start thinking about how small my personal world is, and how significant I feel in it. The fact that I have no power in one half of my house since Saturday (I know, how random, right??) really seems so stupid to worry about. Coming into the Gas ‘n Sip everyday to do these *really* important projects that will enable our customers to see a particular shade of green consistently across all the pages of the website seems so trivial.

I don’t typically watch the news (I think I may have mentioned this before) because it depresses me. So much killing and violence and hatred and sadness in the world.  I am definitely one who absorbs others’ problems thinking I can help. (Excuse me while I walk on water for a minute…)

I’m back… >_<

Anyhoo, Haiti. I think this is the source of my latest snit. I have watched an inordinate (for me) amount of coverage of this horrible tragedy, and it breaks my heart over and over. These people who are being rescued, now 2 weeks later, are so strong and brave. But what do they have now? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It’s wonderful that people are donating money, clothing, first aid, food, but they have lost everything.  The poor children, who are now orphans, can’t even be adopted now because of all the human traffickers who want to cause harm. So sad.

I look at this story, and I look at my life, and I think – This is it? This is what I’m contributing to the world? Consistent green coloring? And so the snit takes hold. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have no idea what I could do if I were able to go to Haiti to help. My life really is sheltered and I’m sure I would freak out at the loss and the poverty. And really, working at the Gas ‘n Sip hasn’t prepared me for any kind of life saving, aid giving work.  But there has to be something more. There has to be.

I know I could volunteer in my community and help that way; starting locally is a good first step. Of course, then I would have to face my laziness. Then seeing the need so close to home and how they need so much and I’m complaining about having too many clothes. Oy. It really is a vicious circle. I really do drive myself crazy.

So, I just have to turn off the news again, and let my feathers get settled a little, and this snit will be history. Until the next tragedy.

But in the meantime, I can look for ways to “give back” close to home. Maybe that will mitigate the next one.

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