Oh, hello! Come in. It’s the last day for donuts, so take two. The next snack will be *gulp* good for you.
So, just like every single other blogger, I am going to look back to see what I accomplished over the last year. But unlike ever other blogger, my introspection will be fascinating, I’m sure. You know, like watching grass grow.
2009. What can we say about this year. I’ll be ending this year the same way I ended last year – at a hockey game. It’s something I love to do. It will get me out of the city before all the real craziness starts. I’ll take it.
2009 was the year I came out of my shell a little bit more. I joined Twitter, which, in all honesty, is the ultimate time suck/chat room. It’s silly. It’s stupid. It’s fun. It’s make-believe. I noticed the other day that I have tweeted more than 6,100 times. And of that? 99% have been silly and fluffy. But I got some laughs from it, so I’ll keep doing it. I can Tweet something that is authentically me and if someone doesn’t like it, I can click “unfollow” and eliminate the judgement.
I also started this blog in 2009. I had thought about blogging for years. I even attempted to do one before. But I didn’t ever tell anyone about it, or do it with any idea about how it would go. (Clearly, I know what I’m doing now. I’m practically fluent in blog these days. *heh*) I started this one with a lot of trepidation, a lot of fear, quietly. I didn’t know if anyone would read it, or if anyone would like it, or comment, or re-visit. And while my count of people who have visited my site is low by some standards, and my comments section has the honor of a few regular visitors, I am flattered and a little bit giddy about every single view that is listed. *Someone* is reading. And for all the times I have looked at it, whether to reference a previous post, or just to “check the stats” (don’t judge me), I still have had what I consider a huge number of visitors and I want to thank each of you.
Work wise, I bid farewell to the age of the Leg Jiggler, and ushered in Smiley. The Gas ‘n Sip became the Gas ‘n Stuff. I don’t remember anything huge happening, although I’m sure that at some point through the year, something huge happened and I was traumatized at the time. I’ll take my memories, or lack thereof, as they stand now, thank you very much.
I also, most recently, spent some time wallowing in my grief that Madame X is sick. She seems to be doing a teensy bit better, but I have also (mostly) wrapped my head around the fact that she may be leaving my life sooner, rather than later. I can (almost) say that now without sobbing violently. Big steps for me.
Oh! I almost forgot that 2009 was the year in which I shredded the credit cards. I still have balances that I am really trying to pay off, but no new debt. YAY me! It’s really hard to live without a credit card, can I just tell you? I almost wish I had saved one, but I’ve met me. And it was all or nothing. And all was the only real option. Now I really think about what I buy, and whether I need it, or can afford it, or can still pay my mortgage if I buy it. It’s made me appreciate that which I do buy so much more.
So 2010 is about 14 hours away. I’ve already written about the regular intentions that I foresee. I have been tossing it around my brain, too, lately that I may actually attempt to read…. wait for it…. the Bible. Both the Old and New Testaments. I’ve read parts of it. But never all the way thru. I think before I can say it’s great or sucks or somewhere in between, I should read it. I foresee it being a full year’s project. I’m sure there will be a lot of it that I don’t understand or “get” but that’s okay. And who knows. After that, I could move on to the Torah and the Koran. Who knows. I might as well learn about the religions that are affecting the world most these days.
The other book that I want to get through this year coming is War and Peace. I want to see what all the fuss is about. And if it will really take me 42 years to get through it. I’m not skeered….
And, speaking of skeered, I would like to make 2010 the year I faced my fears. But more in the way of you know when you are asked to do something and you immediately say “Nope, can’t.” or start sweating or curling into a fetal position while whimpering? Those kinds of fears. Public speaking. Figuring out what happened in my early thirties that has virtually erased a number of the years from my memory. Something must have happened, however uneventful. What was it? Those types of fears. Not the “I’m afraid of bugs and heights” types of fears. I’ll save that for another time.
Will I achieve success with these intentions? I think I already have by putting them in writing. And however far I get in the reading of either the Bible or W&P, I will have made the start. Better than looking at them and thinking “Someday…”
So, 2009 was pretty uneventful in a lot of ways. And I’m starting 2010 with big goals. I hope that this time next year, I will be able to check off at least some of those as “Wins”.
And to you, my lovely, wonderful readers, I wish for you a 2010 of wonder and joy and health and laughter and love. I hope you all get what you ask for from the Universe and that it makes your life full and fabulous.
And however you are celebrating this evening, do it with loved ones, safely, and fully. I want to see all of you back here next year.
Oh, hello! Come on in and have some tea with me.
After many years of resisting my mother’s pleas to go see my nephew play basketball, lately I find myself attending his games. He LOVES basketball. He wants to play professionally. And of course, my mother has been going to his games and gushing about how good he is and blah blah blah. Whatever, Mum, you’re his grandmother. OF COURSE you are going to say he’s good. That’s what grandmothers do. *eye roll*
So, my nephew? Eddie? Is *really* good. I’m actually really impressed with how good he is. He is in high school, a sophomore. He plays on the Varsity team – the only soph to do so. And he does really well with the older boys. Watching, I can see that some of the seniors are reluctant to pass him the ball at times, but I think that might be an ego thing, rather than an “Eddie sucks” thing. Which is too bad. He doesn’t hog the ball, he passes well, he’s great on defense, and is really all about the team. When he’s on the bench and there’s a time-out, he’s the first off the bench to high-five (or whatever high school kids do these days) the players coming off the floor. It’s nice to see that. It’s a little thing, but I’m sure others notice it too.
The first game I went to was at a school that I had not visited in more than 25 years. If anything could define “surreal” I think that would be it. Then I got to people watch the other high school team’s fans. OH MAH GAH. If I was ever that young or that obnoxious, I am publically apologizing to anyone I came in contact with.
And the clothes?? OY! I’ve been trying to think back to my high school term. Granted, it was 25 years ago, so my memory is a little fuzzy. But I honestly do not remember, EVER, seeing girls wear so little, or with bewbs so big. I know there were girls with huge bewbs. And I know that there were girls who dressed, um…. far less conservatively than I. But, holy cows!! There was skin showing, and copious amounts of lycra, and short, and tight. YIKES!
It must be the style these days. I don’t spend a lot of time around kids. I don’t “get” them, typically. Or I end up talking to them as if I were one of them, and I don’t know that that is a good thing either. But to see these kids, putting it all out there, while still managing to look SO young? It makes me sad for them. They are so far ahead of where we were 25 years ago – socially, technologically – that they aren’t kids any more. They all have better phones/shoes/bags/cars than I do (which, quite honestly, is not saying much). But I still think it’s taking away the joy of childhood from them.
Ugh. Anyway. Enough philosophical blather today.
My nephew? I’ll tell you his real name when he goes pro. For now? He’s my Eddie and I am *really* proud of him. And he should be really proud of himself.
Oh, hello! Have some trail mix. Sorry, I haven’t been shopping in a while.
Well, so much for posting more, huh? Honestly, though, even as scarce as I have been lately, I still manage to post more frequently than others…. just sayin…
And so, another year is drawing to a close. Was it everything you hoped it would be? Did you stick with your New Year’s resolutions longer than it took you to write them down? Was it full of good, joy, and happiness? Or were you challenged with sadness, loss, and grief?
I know people who fit any, all, and none of those classifications. I hope your year, as you sit and reflect nurse your hangover on January 1st, finds that you are in a better place than you were one year ago.
My year was relatively stable. Of course I had the usual intentions of ending the year thinner, happier, richer, and more in love than I started it. The one intention that I did manage to keep, and it is not difficult, is to read a greater number of books this year than last. I have managed to do that for several years now, and will continue to do so.
This year’s NYE plans are the same as last year’s. I’ll be at a hockey game, then home before all the drunk, crazy people get behind the wheels of their vehicles and attempt to kill people drive home to the next bar. I’m all for having a cocktail and having fun, but when your “fun” impedes my ability to be safe? Then, you suck.
Another of my intentions for the upcoming year is to rid my home of everything that I don’t absolutely love. If I haven’t used it, worn it, looked at it, thought about it, or needed it in the past 12 months, I will be either donating it or trying to sell it on eBay. (If it doesn’t sell on eBay, it will be going into the donate pile.) I’m sick of moving “things” from one room to another. I’m clearing the decks, so to speak.
As far as the requisite “get thinner/healthier” intention goes, I’m sure there will be some form of that on my list. But that goes hand-in-hand with my learning to accept who I am over what I look like intention, so I think “Get healthier” will encompass mind, body, and soul. I’ll still be me, just an improved version of me.
So, what will your goals/intentions/resolutions be for 2010? Are you sticking with the traditional ones? Or are you going to stretch your boundaries a little and do something new?
Oh, hello! Come over here and get yourself some Christmas cookies. I haven’t been around for so long and now you all look a little peckish.
So, where have I been? I’m glad you asked.
After a heart-hurting post about Madame X, I needed a break. I couldn’t face writing some blather that meant nothing to me or to anyone else. I had had such high hopes to complete NaBloPoMo AND NaNoWriMo, but ended up not finishing either. I did cheer others on to success, albeit from my sofa, while in the fetal position.
I learned that I missed you all. (*heh* I say “you all” like there are millions of you who actually read this dreck). I thought about writing something, but just couldn’t do it. K2Kid none-too-subtly asked me if I had given up blogging altogether. (*waves* at K2Kid while also giving *stinkeye* and thanking her for the kick in the rear.)
So here I am. What’s new? Let’s see:
1. I am no longer under the Leg Jiggler’s domain. He has been reallocated to a different group, as have I. Hoorah!! He is still here, in the next cell, but the dynamic has changed. I now report to someone up in Canadia. Yep, that’s right, everyone’s favorite Gas ‘n Sip keeps getting bigger! Now you can call us the Gas ‘n Sip, Eh?
2. Out of the blue, my friends at MegandAli.com gifted me a hat to say thank you for “reviewing” them. I was so surprised, even though I secretly know that Mr. Meg (aka Frank) wants me to do some free advertising for them. But that’s okay. I really do like their stuff, and if my wearing a hat helps them to be successful, I’m happy to do that. The hat itself? A basic baseball cap, soft, with their familiar peace sign on the front. I wore it on one of my trips to Canadia, in fact. It was comfy and didn’t end up causing my head to itch like so many other hats can. Mr. Meg told me they have to update the site, but check out the hats if you get a chance.
3. I am not sure I have ever mentioned this before, but I hate, *hate*, the holidays. Hate. I wish I didn’t, but I honestly don’t remember a truly happy one. People get SO stressed, and SO ugly, and SO cranky at this time of year. There is pressure to have a *perfect* tree/house/outfit/family/dog/iguana, and it becomes just another chore. Plus, the fact that the stores start with the Christmas-related crap as early as July or August. Really? I would love nothing more than to make it just another day, with a pleasant family meal, where we get together and have fun with a game or something. No pressure. No “jeez, did I get everyone the “right” gift?” No “have I sent out the cards?” ENOUGH! Enough of the commercialism. I mean, really. Hey, stores: if you can “mark stuff down” by some percentage for “holiday sales”, chances are IT’S TOO EXPENSIVE TO BEGIN WITH!!! (I have to stop my rant here. My sinus pressure is killing me, and this rant and thinking about the holidays is giving me a headache. I’ll revisit the topic when I feel better. Maybe.)
4. I had myself another Madame X breakdown last night. I’m not sure where that came from because, as far as I know, nothing has changed about her condition. But, there I was anyway, in a pile on my bed, sobbing, nearly suffocating, and thinking about how much my life will be “less” without her there. Today, I am exhausted with very pretty, puffy, tired eyes trying to look at it from the perspective of how much better my life has been because she has been in it, and what a joy it has been to have her there, and with complete comfort that she will be looking out for me once the inevitable happens. Someone please keep reminding me of that.
5. The Biggest Loser. Yeah, I didn’t do my recap of the last 2 shows. A few reasons for that: 1. my meltdown; 2. no one read them; 3. I didn’t feel like it. A new season starts January 5, and I’ll be watching it. Without my computer.
I guess that’s it for now. I feel like I am starting this blog thing over from scratch. Baby steps. But I will try to not leave again for so long. I really did miss you.