I haven’t been around much. I promised myself I wouldn’t post just for the sake of posting. I want to get away from posting just crap. Hopefully, this won’t be that.
I am 33 days free of processed sugar. WOOT! For the most part, it has seemed pretty easy to do. There are days, like today, where it seems I would kick a small child for a donut. But, even with that, I know I wouldn’t like it. And won’t get one.
I feel I have to add the “processed” adjective because there are some negative people around who insist that “there’s sugar in everything.” Or “There is sugar in fruit.” Yes, but the sugar in fruit is not processed to within an inch of its life, is it? And last I checked fruit is good for you. Or at least better for you than a donut.
*****
Speaking of those people… I am going to really try to eliminate such negativity from my life. If you feel the need to be negative and not support me, I feel the need to not associate with you. You are welcome to your opinions; encouraged to have them, in fact. I just choose to not be around you. It all falls in line with my word of the year: KINDness. I am trying to be KINDer to myself and others. And you don’t meet that requirement. I will remain cordial to you, but you no longer warrant further interaction.
*****
Speaking of KIND….This has been working out very well for me this year. One month in, and I am still going strong. My attitude is better, my eating habits are better, my interactions with others are (mostly) better. I feel lighter, and I am noticing that I am looking brighter. My eyes are not as dull. I like this. It’s fun to be KIND and friendly to others. I did miss an opportunity to be KIND the other day at Starbucks, but I’ll not miss it the next time.
*****
REALLY random question of the day: I was watching the Closer the other night (I love that show!), and this question occurred to me. The main character is a wine drinker, and her husband is a recovering alcoholic. Yes, I know they are just playing roles, but it made me wonder about this in a real life situation. If a person takes a drink, and then kisses an alcoholic, does it trigger something in them? Or is it not the same thing? I really don’t know. Perhaps this is a silly question, but I think about these things.
*****
What else?
Oh, I have been doing my Morning Pages for about a month now. These are my 2 pages of journaling in the mornings. It’s really been good. Honestly, I have fallen down on it of late, but I’m getting back to it. It really helps me get a focus for the day and to replenish my soul. Sometimes I feel really depleted after it seems like I have been giving to everyone else. My Morning Pages help me take care of myself so that I can take care of others.
*****
Lately, I have been attending a lot of my nephew’s basketball games. He’s a junior in HS, and is a starter. He has gotten so much better and had turned out to be such a nice kid. He’s respectful of his grandmother, which I love. And he has the most adorable girlfriend! And she’s respectful too. It’s delightful to see that in 16-17 year olds! It restores my faith in youth.
*****
I think that’s it. That’s what I’ve been up to. Perhaps I’ll have a “real” post here again soon. Until then, hugs all around!
So….
The focus of my year, as I’ve mentioned, is kindness. To be kinder to myself and others.
One of the ways I have been kinder to myself is to eat better. I realized the other day, that quite without trying, I had not eaten anything processed or pre-packaged since the beginning of the new year. I knew I wanted to eat better things, and evidently that, coupled with my intent to eliminate processed sugar, led me to eat only things that are “real”. Go me!
As an aside, after that realization, I ate pizza before a hockey game. Dear goat. It was SO good, but SO filling. I had 2 1/2 slices (cut a 3rd in half) at around 5:30 and was full until morning. Who knew?
But I had another realization last night, when I was hit with a wave of loneliness so big that I thought I was being suffocated. Unless I wanted to get out of bed and saute up some Brussel sprouts or asparagus, I was going to have to actually “feel” this feeling and see where it took me. You see, previously, I would have gotten myself a snack of ice cream or chips or something else, and numbed my mind so that the feeling of loneliness would be crushed back down and I could go on as usual.
Not having the snack to anesthetize myself forced me to ride the wave. I cried. I hugged Maggie and Seamus. I journaled. I was able to get the feeling out. To go through it and experience it. At the time, I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it at all. I REALLY wanted a snack. But since I hadn’t bought any, I couldn’t. Once the wave subsided, and I was able to gain a little distance, I knew that this is a good thing.
Actually feeling your feelings. Whoda thunk that such a simple concept would be so profound? I didn’t. For more years that I care to admit, I have eaten my feelings. I don’t want to do that anymore. I won’t do that anymore. (Because, really. You can’t mask feelings with vegetables, let’s be honest. ) So, my pledge for 2011: feel whatever comes up. Look at it. Examine it. Then put it down and let it go. I know it won’t be easy. I know I will stumble and reach for that… um… popcorn, I guess. But, with my sincere apologies to REO Speedwagon, it’s time for me to fly, and I can’t do that with all this baggage.
Wish me luck. This is gonna be good. I can tell.
Goodbye 2010.
That seems to be the consensus from most people I follow on Twitter and also the 3D people I know. It seems the outgoing year was less than kind to many people. It was a year of parents passing, children passing, relationships ending, broken bones, broken hearts, and other general events of suck.
However, this past year was also a year of good things: babies born, weddings, new jobs, new relationships and other events of YAY. And, quite honestly, these things, in both categories, were all experienced by people I know.
I’m not going to pretend this is a “normal” year in review or recap or look back. I am also not going to do a look ahead at all the things I want for the coming year. One would be trite and the other would be presumptive.
What I will say is that while 2010 may have been horrible for so many, and yet so tremendous for so many others, here is my hope for 2011 for all.
I hope for all that the new year is filled with excitement, love, challenge, growth, health, happiness and adventure. I hope each person is I encounter experiences kindness and wonder and some level of bliss.
There will be times when things will be horrible. There will be times when things are beyond wonderful. But, in my opinion, ALL of these events will help each of us to become more full, more well-rounded, better people. We will learn how to better treat each other, and how to treat ourselves. This is my goal for the new year. Based on this post by one of my favorite people on the planet, KINDNESS is my word for the new year. I want people to be kinder – with themselves and with each other.
Please approach the new year gently and kindly. There will still be bad things, and old hurts, but my wish for you and for the planet is to be kind and to have the best, most interesting year possible.
I know I’m going to try to do that.
MagAndMoo's Blog 