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Oh, hello! Whole wheat pasta with red sauce tonight. Dig in!

Episode 9

Before I start with last night’s update, did you know??? Daniel? and Rebecca? DATING. Yep. She’s the girlfriend that he alluded to. I’ll give you a moment to digest that…

Last week:

Weigh in:

Rudy (blue): has immunity: 332 – 8 to 324 (2.41%) SAFE

Rebecca (pink): 219 – 10 to 209 (4.57%) SAFE

Liz (brown): 218 – 12 to 206 (5.50%) SAFE

Allen (green): has a 1 pound advantage: 253 – 10 to 243 (4.35%) SAFE

Amanda (pink): 207 – 5 to 202 (2.42%) Below yellow line.

Danny (brown): 333 – 17 to 316 (5.11%) SAFE and has lost 114 pounds in 9 weeks.

Daniel (orange): 261 – 5 to 256 (1.92%) Below the red line. He’s going home.

Shay (orange): 393 – 17 to 376. (4.33%) She’s lost 100 pounds in 9 weeks. Jill is stunned.  Below yellow line.

Both Shay and Daniel went home. We saw him as an update but  not her. BTW? Daniel and Rebecca? Yep. Together.

This week? SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! It’s makeover week!!!!!!! And you know what that means??? TGIF! Tim Gunn Is Fabulous!!!! SQUEE!!!!!

We open with a limo driving up. Sami is all dressed up. She’s telling them about giving a speech to a crowd.  Then she opens the limo door and Tim Gunn comes out. (LOVE!!!) and Tabitha Coffey from Tabitha’s Salon Takeover is here too!!! SQUEE!!!!!!! TG is taking them to a suite at some hotel for clothing and Tab is taking them to some salon in West Hollywood.

Liz is first. TG shows her some clothes. Liz is talking about her speech and how she’s going to talk to women taking time for themselves. Her goal? To look fabulous.

Rudy is next. Looking at suits, but he prefers jeans and a t-shirt. (Way to go out on a limb there, Moose.) TG is trying to talk him in to a blazer to snazz up the jeans. Rudy’s not buying that. Tab is trying to get him to shave the beard. She’s bad-ass, so she will win.

Rebecca is next. TG shows her an animal print. (Sorry. Can’t stop picturing her with Daniel. Kinda gagging a little bit.) TG asks her about her speech. She cries about being able to shop now. She tells TG to not cover her all up. Flash to her with Tab. Tab wants to take her to short hair.

Amanda is shown getting her hair cut. Didn’t see her with the clothes.

The boys are all talking about their speeches – their struggles in everyday life, the reasons for being on the BL.

We don’t see all the hair and clothing being done. Then we’re at the night of the speech. We see Rebecca with her short hair. It’s cute. It looks good on her. It is, however, VERY similar to Ali – the first female winner.  She’s freaking out. She comes around the corner and is in a black dress, sky-scraper heels. She looks really good. It’s not a jaw-dropping transformation, but it’s good.  TG is telling her she’s got 300 people waiting to be inspired by her. (Nice…that’s so evil! I love it.) But he has one last surprise. He turns her around… she screams like she’s being killed…. and it’s…. a commercial. It’s her sister. They hug and cry. Her sister is tiny. And very pretty.

Danny walks around the corner. I couldn’t figure out initially if it was him or Rudy. His hair is darker. He’s in jeans, a woven shirt and a sweater vest. He looks MUCH younger. He’s excited for the speech, can’t wait to get out there. TG turns him around to see his family. He’s shocked. And crying. His wife is psyched.

Alan comes out in a gray suit. He looks very nice. His wife and daughter are there. She is pretty. (That’s it for Alan. Wow, did he get short-changed on the makeover segment!!)

Amanda still has blond hair. It’s about shoulder length. She has on a bright royal blue blouse and black pants. (She should have gone with a dress, IMO.) Her mom is there. Much hugging and smiling.

Rudy comes out with jeans, a woven shirt, and a brown jacket on. I’m sorry, the dude is huge! Not fat huge. But he’s just a big guy! He looks good. His hair is shorter and the beard is gone. Thank goat. He looks much younger and much thinner. His wife and kids are there. His daughter is cute.

Liz is in an animal print dress. Her hair is a soft blond and has been shaped and shortened. I have to say that her transformation (for this makeover show) has been the most dramatic. Her husband and daughter are there. She looks so good.

Sami is all fancy in a silvery dress. Sexy! This is the BL/TV Guide magazine makeover. (What happened to Prevention magazine? Curious.)

Danny comes out: the crowd goes wild. Then Liz. Then Rudy. Then Amanda. Then Rebecca. Then Alan. They all get standing ovations. They are all grinning and confident and crying. (They showed Bob’s reaction to Amanda only. That whole thing creeps me out for some reason. IDK why.)

Alan goes first. He’s talking about his life as a firefighter and how he couldn’t save people before. He felt like he was a liability to his company.*sob*

Danny started with a weight problem early on. His turning point was when his daughter said to him “Daddy, I wanna have a belly just like you.” She is the one who made him want to turn his life around. *sob* The daughter interviews that she loves him so much and she can’t wait to go on her journey. *sob sob*

Rudy tells the story of him at 12 with his sister being diagnosed with cancer. They show Jill in the audience, looking horrified, and being shocked that she didn’t know about it. She is, of course, pissed that he didn’t tell her. Um, yeah, Jill, because it’s about you. I mean, I get it, but still… FOCUS! Back to Rudy – before his sister died, she told him that he’s going to have to make a change for himself because he’s good-looking and likeable. *sob* Seriously. Could they give us a warning?? He’s like a gentle giant.

Amanda is next. She admits that she didn’t have an “event” that caused her to gain weight. She just always saw herself as big and she became that.

On to Rebecca. She has always been the chubby friend. The chubby sister.

Now Liz. (Way to cut Rebecca short. Seriously, that’s all they let her say.) Liz woke up one day and knew she was fat. She blamed everything and everyone else. The dryer shrunk her clothes. She would watch BL while eating ice cream. (Is that bad??) She lost herself. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

They keep showing the fatties in the audience as the contestants are speaking. It’s kinda funny.  They did a good job with the speeches. Very inspirational. Really.  Amanda thinks the makeover was the best thing they did on the ranch so far. Um, really, Amanda? Going to Washington? Cooking in the White House? Losing weight? Not as good? Glad you have the right mindset there.

And it’s challenge time. Back to reality. They are going to hang on a wire and cross a canyon using a pulley to get them there. 700 feet.  The winner gets a 2 week stay at the BL resort in Utah for them and their family. They all get geared up, in helmets and harnesses. Liz is freaking out to the point of being annoying. Danny is giggling at her. (HEE!) And they’re off. Rudy is in the lead. Liz is doing this with her eyes closed. Amanda is trying to catch Rudy. Rudy wins. Amanda is second. Then Alan. Then Rebecca. Then Danny. Liz is last, but she’s glad she finished. The finish platform has pictures of the “old” them on it. They get to ceremonially unveil the “new” them by rolling out new pictures of themselves. Cool.

B&J are finding out about the results of the challenge. Then, it’s last chance workout time. Bob holds Alan back and Jill takes the rest of them to the gym. Bob wants to know why Alan isn’t winning the challenges like he should be. He says he’s “playing the game” some so that he seems like less of a threat to the others. He wants to stay so he’s staying under the radar. Bob is okay with that.

Last chance workout. All day workout. Lots of sweat. Lots of grunting. Jill is pissed at Rudy for not mentioning his sister. Calls him out. He’s a private person and didn’t think he needed to talk about it. She takes him outside and he’s telling her the story as he’s carrying a heavy bag.  She gets him to admit that he keeps all his problems inside. (Breakthrough!!)

No red line this week. Back to yellow line.

Weigh in:

Rudy (blue): 324 – 16 to 308 (!!!) (134 pounds total – BL record of most weight lost in 10 weeks) (4.94%) SAFE

Rebecca (pink): 209 – 3 to 206 (73 pounds total) She’s upset. (1.44%) Below the line.

Liz (brown): 206 – 3 to 203 (64 pounds total) (1.46%) Below the line.

Alan (green): 243 – 5 to 238 (87 pounds total) (2.06%) SAFE

Amanda (pink): 202 – 9 to 193 (57 pounds total) She’s thrilled. Bob is thrilled. (4.46%) SAFE

Danny (brown): 316 – 12 to 304 (126 pounds total) (3.80%) SAFE

Deliberations: Liz wants to know who is going to push them more. Rebecca asks to speak to Rudy and Alan alone. Alan tells Liz to get some fight to stay. Rebecca is begging stay. She’s saying that Liz has been below the line and has had her second chance and now wants her second chance. Liz goes to see Rudy and Alan to fight. She’s playing the “I’m old” card. (She’s only 49! Not 99! I’m sick of the “I’m old” bit.)

Voting:

Amanda: Liz; Danny: Rebecca; Rudy: Rebecca. If there was a tie, Rebecca has the lowest percentage of weight loss, so she would go home. Rudy said he voted for Rebecca because he couldn’t trust her. She’s getting all snarly back. She said that fighting with Rudy is worse than going home.

At home update: She started at 279. Her family is all there to greet her. She’s going through her closet and getting rid of everything. She’s running a half marathon. She’s now down 107 pounds. She looks really good! Skinny mini. She wants to be the at home winner and wants to eventually open a gym for over-weight kids.


Oh, hello! We’re having sangria tonight. Not really diet friendly, but we’re not really on the show. So? Tough noogies.

episode 1

episode 2

Where we ended:

Amanda -4 and Rebecca -6

Daniel -7 and Shay -16

Allen -10  and Abby -11

Rudy -14 and Dina -8

Antoine -8 and Sean -11

Liz -10 and Danny -12

Julio -19

Mo -9 and Tracey -10

No one went home.

Start off with Sami offering the contestants a choice. Would you rather have the trainers or an advantage at the weigh in. Choices by team. Advantage (2 pounds) goes to 1 team – whichever chooses first. Purple team took it. Well, purple chick took it. Mo is pissed!! Kinda hating purple chick right now.

B&J comes in. Purple chick is so going to throw Mo under the bus. Biznatch! B&J are pissed now too. Purple chick is crying. They are telling her what’s what. Mo is the one who loses. She’s blaming fear. She thinks it’s a big friggin joke!

Abby (green chick) has a stress fracture. She can swim. No land exercises. No weight on it. She’s crying but is determined to not give up. Gotta give her props. Another obstacle and she isn’t giving up. I can’t hate her. Bob is giving her a little pep talk and going on about nutrition. Oops. Product placement. Yogurt.

Temptation. Would you rather control your diet or control the game. Phucking purple chick wants to control the game of course. Whoever wins the challenge determines which team member controls the weigh in – only one person from each team will represent the team on the scale. Who ever eats more cupcakes, wins the challenge. Red dude ate one. Purple chick is dying to. And she’s eating. And eating. Purple chick is still eating.  She ate 4 cupcakes. Red dude ate 2. She won. I hate her. If Mo goes home because of this snatch, I’m going to be PISSED!! Jill is PISSED!!! And she has a right to be. Purple chick is taking it as a joke.

Workouts beginning. Mo is watching what everyone else is doing and copying them when they are done. Good for him. Brown dude is playing with the ginormous tire. Jillian is laughing at him.

(I’m leaving out all the references to commercials this time because, OMGoat, there are too many of them.)

They are in a field. Sami has a cowboy hat on. There is a huge incline, and 25 pound buckets, or small 5 pound buckets. They have to bring the buckets up, and get 500 pounds to win. Abby and Tracey are hurt, so they are sitting out. Their teammates are on their own and only have to do 250 pounds. Orange, Brown, Red, and Black are all doing the 25 pounds. The rest are doing 2 of 5 pounds. It’s between pink and green at this point. Green won. They have immunity. Yay, Green. Pink is in second. Brown is going to finish. Blue is on the way to finishing. Orange is finishing. Red is running up to finish. They all went over and helped Mo finish. They were showing him that he didn’t have to do it alone. Get rid of Mo’s “partner” and this cast kicks ass!!

Last chance workouts. Shay seems to be “getting” it. Cartman seems to “get” it. Blue chick is whining. Jill is yelling at her. She’s running. And made it. Bob is dogging Pink blond chick. She whined. Then did it anyway.

Oh, now Purple chick is all stressed about who to pick. It is ALL about game-play with this hag. Jillian is going off!! *snort*. Everyone is looking around like “Uh-oh! Momma’s getting mad!!”

Purple chick has totally phucked EVERYONE over this week.

Tonight’s weigh-in:

Amanda -5 and Rebecca -7 (Amanda counts) (2.08%)

Daniel -6 and Shay -6 (Shay counts) (1.35%)

Allen -4  and Abby -5 (they have immunity)

Rudy -12 and Dina -3 (Rudy counts – he’s in the 300s!) (3.00%)

Antoine -11 and Sean -6 (Sean counts) (1.46%)

Liz -4 and Danny -4 (Liz counts) (1.62%)

Julio -7 (1.87%)

Mo -1 and Tracey -11 (Tracey counts) (5.26%)

Goat bless Mo for still being a good man.

Two teams go below yellow line and one team will go home. Orange is below the yellow line. Red is below the yellow line.  Shay is losing it. She doesn’t think she will make it at home. Red dude is trying to be good. Both Red dudes are agreeing to self-sacrifice for the benefit of Orange. They are both being so amazing. Shay really appreciates this, I think. I really like how this cast seems to be really supporting each other, and they are all (except Tracey) there for the right  reasons. V v cool.

Black voted Red to go.

Green voted Red to go.

Pink voted Red to go.

Purple voted Red to go. (She’s making excuses again. Hate. Bitch makes me stabby.)

Red team – OUT. 😦

AT home update: Antoine is down 105!!! He and Alexandra are together. They seem happy and in love. Sean is down 120 pounds!! He’s running. It’s so cool. Mrs. Sean is pregnant with a little girl that they are going to name Jillian. They both look great!

Next week? Purple chick gets injured. Coincidence or karma?


Oh, hello! Come in and have a sugar-free popsicle, and we’ll watch episode one together.

A new season of TBL starts tonight. I can’t wait. The transformations are usually phenomenal, even though, by the end of the season, the remaining contestants make me stabby.

This season is being called “The Season of Second Chances”.

The contestants:

Abby: 35 yo teacher; her “second chance” is that she lost her husband and 2 kids in a fatal car accident (SAD!!), and wants to get back to life. Horrible, horrible story. Really.  She’s 5’4″. Starting weight: 247 pounds.

Alexandra: 20 yo college student; 5’8″. Second chance at a future – living a normal college life. Cannot currently fit into the classroom seats. Starting weight: 309 pounds

Allen: 44 yo fireman. 5’11”. Second chance: success as a fireman. His weight currently puts others in his unit at risk. Starting weight: 325 pounds.

Amanda: 19 yo Patient Care Tech. 5’6″. Second chance: “to really start living in her 20s”. (WTH?) She is the one selected at the finale of last season. Starting weight: 250 pounds.

Antoine: 23 yo Health Insurance Agent. 6’0″. (health insurance? heh.) Second chance: his father died at age 30, and he feels he may too. Starting weight: 367 pounds.

Daniel: 20 yo student. 5’8″. Second chance: he was on last season with the dick-head partner who didn’t do much. I liked him last season, and wanted him to succeed, but honestly, I don’t know how I feel about him having another go on this show. I think it irritates me that he comes back, when there are so many others in this country who would love the opportunity. He’s already lost 142 pounds at home, so he clearly has a handle on it. We’ll see if he can change my mind. Starting weight: 312 pounds.

Danny: 39 yo land surveyor/musician. 5’11”. Second chance: he previously lost weight and gained it back. His family wants him to be more healthy. Rock star at 17. Starting weight: 430 pounds.

Dina: 28 yo custodian. 5’5″. Second chance: gained weight while pregnant with her son. Her doctor said her weight is preventing her from getting pregnant again. Starting weight: 253 pounds.

Julio: 40 yo mortgage loan officer. 6’0″. Second chance: To help him with his job and to be an example for his wife and kids. Starting weight: 407 pounds.

Liz: 47 yo salesperson. 5’7″. Second chance: to have energy to play with the 9 grandkids and to be healthier for her husband who had bypass surgery. Starting weight: 267 pounds.

Mo: 56 yo youth mentor. 6’2″. Second chance: to be a role model for the kids he mentors and to prove that you can do anything you set your mind to. (oops, my participle is dangling… *blush*). Starting weight: 355 pounds.

Rebecca: 25 yo student/nanny. 5’6″. Second chance: previously lost weight and gained it again. Has been called fat all of her life. 235 by 14. (Yikes!) Starting weight:   279 pounds.

Rudy: 34 yo engineer. 6’4″. (Big ‘un!) Second chance: to be healthy for his kids and to be around to walk his daughters down the aisle. Starting weight: 442 pounds.

Sean: 29 yo youth pastor. 6’2″. Second chance: he is also a musician and losing weight will help him to succeed in that. 2 kids and one on the way. Starting weight: 444 pounds.

Shay: 30 yo social worker. 5’8″. Second chance: to be a better role model for her clients and help motivate them. Also, she grew up in foster care, while her homeless mother lost her battle with a heroine addiction.  Starting weight: 476 pounds. (making her the single largest contestant, man or woman, to ever be on the show.)

Tracey: 37 yo homemaker. 5’2″. Second chance: gained a lot of pregnancy weight (4 kids! UGH!) and wants to be able to run with her Marine husband. Starting weight: (TBD – She’s still at the hospital.)  (She gets helicoptered out for medical attention.)

Of course, Jillian and Bob are back. They are co-training this season. I’m not sure what that means. We’ll find out.  And Ali is the host.  Let the fun begin!

Ali greets them and gives them a challenge. They have to run a mile. The winner gets Immunity at this weeks weigh in. And pick a partner for the rest of the season. Both have immunity. Fatties are not happy. She stops them before they start so that Daniel can arrive.  (Pause for 42 commercials). We’re back. Most are walking. Tracey “sprinted” up the hill. Then couldn’t run down the hill. Shay is last so far. Lots of encouraging each other so far. Daniel won. 14:20 for a mile. Not bad. Tracey is down. Mo is uber sweating and with the doctors. Shay is down. And she’s up. Tracey is still down. Medic is with her. Everyone is helping her. Carrying her. And she’s down again. (It’s really bad, but I’m giggling.) She can’t keep her eyes open. She on the table. Medics are everywhere. Just called the med-evac. Aaaaaand, she’s off to the hospital. (Pause for 37 commercials.)

We’re back. Tracey and Mo are still at the hospital, but still fine. They are picking partners now. Wait, 1 hour of bonding before partnering. Lots of tears. Lots of sad stories.

Partners are:

Daniel and Shay – orange team

Allen and Abby – green team

Amanda and Rebecca – pink team

Rudy and Dina – blue team

Antoine and Sean – red team

Liz and Danny – brown team

Alexandra and Julio – black team

Mo and Shay – purple team

Weigh ins! And enter Bob and Jillian. Jillian is already bitchy. Lots of tears. Lots of shots of Bob and Jillian looking astounded.  More people over 400 pounds than any other season. Bob is horrified at the size of Shay. (*snort*).

Workouts! They all have body bugs. (I’ve checked – $275). Jillian is already yelling. Lots of sweat. Lots of flashed of gut. (EEK!). Tears. Oh, god. There are a lot of moobs this season. And WE HAVE PUKING!!! (ftw)

The trainers are cussing up a storm. “Make a choice. If you don’t choose to change, no one can help you.” From Jillian. Not bad.

Shay just wussed out of the work out. Probably not the best idea when Jillian is screeching at you during your first work out.

(42 more commercials. And a recap of the first hour.)

Back to Shay. Sobbing. B&J are ignoring her trying to get her to come back. She manned up, and went back in. And J is back in her face.

Mo is back. He was dehydrated, low blood sugar and low blood pressure. Red guy (Sean, I think) gave him the purple shirt and told him that Tracey is his partner and still in the hospital.

Trip to the doctor. Dr. H greets them and scares the crap out of them with medical stuff. CA Health and Longevity Institute for more tests. MRIs and X-Rays and blood tests and on and on. Again, scaring the crap out of the fatties. What diseases they have, their actual age versus their medical age. OMG. More tears. Followed by 57 more commercials.

Last chance workout, BITCH! Screaming, puking, sweating, grunting, pain, drama, falling. Julio smooched Jillian for dogging him. Hee. Bob: this group has a lot of emotional baggage. Ya think??  Waiting for Alexandra to belt J in the head with the weights.

Weigh in: (Oh, wait. More commercials.)

(I’m going to show amount of weight lost this week.)

Daniel -12 and Shay -17 (they have immunity)

Allen -19 and Abby -15 (WOW!)

Amanda -6  and Rebecca -18

Rudy -28 and Dina -8

Antoine -18 and Sean -22 (reminds me of Cartman)  (WOW!)

Liz -10 and Danny -24

Alexandra -13 and Julio -13

Mo -19 and Shay – TBD (GO MO!)

There is a whole lot of BAD makeup going on this season. Oy! So far, I love Coach Mo. (GO MO!!)  I hate Alexandra. Not loving Daniel right now. He’s cocky – like “I’ve done this before, you should listen to me”. I like the brown team. I like the green team. Not loving pink. Jury is still out on the rest.

Black team is below the yellow line. Alexandra and Julio. Alexandra is going home by a vote of 4-3!! Thank goat. Bitch is out of there. Transformation moment: lost 60 pounds at home. She looks pretty good. The makeup is still criminal. She wants to be at 180 by finale.